Would you date a physically disabled person?

Danb

Danb

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I am finding it more and more difficult to find a date because i am physically disabled. I am disabled because of health problems not because i am deaf.

I am at the age where everyone around me is starting careers, getting a hourse, getting married and having kids.

The crappy thing about it is that most women tell me i am attractive, but turn me down when i ask them out. So if that's the case then the problem comes down to money.:roll:

Is the world really that superficial? Would you date a physically disabled person in today's society if it meant that they would have to rely on you in some ways for financial stability, and that you would have to sacrifice some things do to having half the income of the majority of households?
 
I've known people who date, and some marry, others with physical disabilities.

The truth is, a lot of people are still looking for Mr./Mrs. Right, regardless of physiology. Mrs. Right is out there...keep being bold and ask women out. The world is full of superficial people...but then again, you're not going to find a pearl in every oyster. :)
 
Danb said:
I am finding it more and more difficult to find a date because i am physically disabled. I am disabled because of health problems not because i am deaf.

I am at the age where everyone around me is starting careers, getting a hourse, getting married and having kids.

The crappy thing about it is that most women tell me i am attractive, but turn me down when i ask them out. So if that's the case then the problem comes down to money.:roll:

Is the world really that superficial? Would you date a physically disabled person in today's society if it meant that they would have to rely on you in some ways for financial stability, and that you would have to sacrifice some things do to having half the income of the majority of households?
Click to expand...
Many people in the world are superficial, yes. However, you don't need the whole world. You need only one special person in this world. Not every woman is suitable for you but you don't need every woman. Hang in there for the right one. :)

For those women who refuse to date a physically disabled person, they should remember that all it takes is one minute for a healthy body to become injured, or for a disease to begin its attack. That hunky guy she marries could quickly become seriously disabled. Then what?

Think about the military guys who come back without limbs, or paralyzed, or with horrible burns, or traumatic brain injuries. They left home strong and healthy but they come back disabled.

None of us have guarantees about our bodies, so we do need to look deeper for our life mates.
 
I think you have had the bad luck of running across those who don't want to.

My SO came home from Iraq with severe TBI 6 years ago. To this day, he still hasn't been able to work. I am the primary financial provider for us -- he does collect permanent government VA disability now -- it barely covers his medical needs, though. He does have his Montgomery GI bill so I've been encouraging him to go to school, and even that's tough for him to do (and he's doing it!) There are many times we make plans and don't do them because he's not feeling well. I always say, "that's ok, there's always another day." So I have had to make lifestyle adjustments, (and he's had to do the same for me -- he can be in the mood for a movie but he doesn't go because it's not a CC movie, etc.) All in all, I wouldn't trade him for anyone else. I love him to pieces.

You just need to find the right woman out there. She's there somewhere.
 
There definitely are a lot of superficial people in this world. And given that no ones perfect, I'm sure almost everyones been rejected (even if theyre unaware) at some point on superficial grounds. But the people who are really worth it are the ones who take the time to get to know you and see you for the whole package.

Personally? I wouldn't have any problem at all dating someone with a physical disability.

Besides, as superficial people are likely to discover, things like beauty and health don't always last.
 
Thank you, everything said is very encouraging advice.

I'm finding that i have a hard time explaining to women that i am disabled. I used to work with a few girls who ended up seeing me become disabled over time. They were the ones i asked out. I don't hang around with them now. I am having a hard time explaining my health problems to the women i talk to now.

I am using dating sites. I'm not sure if i should put it in my public profile that i am disabled, or if i should not tell them until there is some interest and communication?
 
Nodding in agreement....and I remmy, years ago, that I dated a Detective on the police force for about a year. We broke off because he was concerned about having a "deaf child."....Well, to make the story short....he did get married, and he and his wife had a daughter....and she was "deaf'!

He came to my place of employment and told me about everything....and was very sorry....but there was too much water under the bridge...he was now married and the hurt I felt was too much for me to even want to ever endure that again....

I don't have any qualms dating a disabled person, as long as I enjoy his company....So hang in there!
 
I was on VA Island a few months back on the beach. One of the things that caught my eyes was a man with a prosthetic leg, from thigh down, with just a metal joint.

He had a great looking girlfriend with a helpful personality. From the looks of it, they had been dating for awhile because she helped him up, lifted him into the car, and other small detail going on.

So yeah, witnessing that I do think it's possible to date a physically disabled person provided that it's not a personality disorder, where it is a bit harder. I've read and heard people with bipolar have trouble keeping their relationships (or even marriage) going.
 
what the f ? why are there 2 posts of my topic? weird...

Anyways, i happened to read an article in a magazine which said people are more likely to avoid someone who has chronic health problems. The study showed that even when the observers didn't know the people they were looking at were unhealthy they still avoided them. I wanted to burn that magazine but i was getting my oil changed at jiffylube. :(
 
Americans are known for narcissism with all the magazines of people with perfect bodies and perfect health being rubbed in our faces. Not all are like that so it may take time to find that special one.
 
The problem with the article was that it was a study conducted by psychologists and written in TIME magazine. I was suprised to see something so politically incorrect in TIME.
 
Danb said:
I am finding it more and more difficult to find a date because i am physically disabled. I am disabled because of health problems not because i am deaf.

I am at the age where everyone around me is starting careers, getting a hourse, getting married and having kids.

The crappy thing about it is that most women tell me i am attractive, but turn me down when i ask them out. So if that's the case then the problem comes down to money.:roll:

Is the world really that superficial? Would you date a physically disabled person in today's society if it meant that they would have to rely on you in some ways for financial stability, and that you would have to sacrifice some things do to having half the income of the majority of households?
Click to expand...

I want to ask. When you say you are physically-disabled... Does that mean you are on wheelchair?
 
I don't use a wheel chair. I am disabled because of chronic health problems.
 
rockin'robin said:
Nodding in agreement....and I remmy, years ago, that I dated a Detective on the police force for about a year. We broke off because he was concerned about having a "deaf child."....Well, to make the story short....he did get married, and he and his wife had a daughter....and she was "deaf'!

He came to my place of employment and told me about everything....and was very sorry....but there was too much water under the bridge...he was now married and the hurt I felt was too much for me to even want to ever endure that again....

I don't have any qualms dating a disabled person, as long as I enjoy his company....So hang in there!
Click to expand...

What a poetic justice!
 
I have read a piece where a woman knew this man before he had an accident that put him in a wheelchair. She didn't like the man because she found him conceited and vain. Guess what? She likes him better after he had the accident. The accident had changed his attitude and she married him.
 
this is a tough question to answer. Would I date a physically-disabled girl? :hmm:

I'm assuming that "physically-disabled girl" means she has an ambulatory issue and if that's the case - I'm afraid that I'm superficial and shallow-minded person but I would explore a bit and see where it goes.
 
You would also have to consider that if this went further to marriage that possibly kids could be born with the same health problems. I can't get this out of my mind. It makes me wonder if that is another thing the women i try to date think about.

So all the women, please reply to this with your opinions...
 
Try to find someone with your same health problems, and you can be a support to each other.
 
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