would you be offended by this?

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pixiestix

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My niece was a very smart ass to me. The other day she kept complaining she's sooo tired and she's only 24. Bec she works full time, have a kid, house, school, etc. And that is tiresome. Ok but I'm sick of hearing her complaining. It was at the fair.

What offended me the most? When I told her that my mom worked full time, raised me, school at night, my school events when I was in high school and mom was in her mid 30s. She never ever complained that she was tired.

My niece said well she was probably too tired to sign that to me that she was tired.

That really really offended me because she doesn't even sign. I have not know anyone being too tired to sign (except interpreters and that's the expection). I know how my mom was like (and she never complained and I always picked her up from school and we were always talking) and my neice wasn't even born so she can't judge or ASSUME that. She knows NOTHING about me and my growing up. I talked with my deaf friends and they said that was very rude and smartass.
Your thoughts?
 
guess your niece feels too close to you so she can tell you everything how she feels. maybe next time, you can tell her that you don't want to hear her complaing about the same issues unless its a different issue then you would be willing to listen. it's up to you. that is between you and your niece as a matter family. Let her know how you feel offended about signing issue.
 
So petty!.....You feel offended by ur neice being tired....Jeez!

For all you know, ur neice could have health problems.....she could be experiencing depression, due she has a full schedule!.....

Even my 15 yr. old says "I'm tired" sometimes....he has to get up very early for school and has football practice in the evenings, plus his homework.

And even myself get tired!...my guess is ur neice was just "Making conversation".....
 
If you were not a signer, I bet you niece would have said "I bet she was too tired to say she was tired."

Plus I imagine your mother told a friend she was exhausted. A good parent does not tell the child how tired everything makes them so the child won't feel guilty about not being of more help. Seems like you had a good mom.

I get tired a lot, by the way. I could say it or sign it for you, which ever you found least offensive. :shrug:
 
Don't think I would be offended. I'd just roll my eyes to heaven and laugh to myself in despair because she has a wise cracking answer to everything! :roll:

.
 
If your niece is a single mom, I can understand how she feels. I am not a single mom but I feel tired all the time due to having a full-time job, kids, a house and all that so as a single mom, she probably has it worse than I do. There is just so much responsibility and things that needed to be done but not enough time in the day. It can get stressful which can lead to exhaustion.

Also, dont forget that she is going to school on top of everything...I have done that before..going to school while working full time but without kids and that WAS very very difficult.
 
I wouldn't spend my leisure time with her. If all she does is complain, no one will want to hang out with her. You were at a fair presumably to have some fun. If she's no fun, decline her invitations and make plans with someone else. Maybe she'll get the hint when no one wants to do things with her.

She doesn't sound like a good friend because it's all about HER. Complaining all of the time is being really self absorbed. Has she inquired about your life? Is she thoughtful, remembering your birthday and special things? Or does she just dump all of her negative energy on you? I don't keep self absorbed people in my life when they only use me when it's convenient for them. There are plenty of those people out there. I save my energy for positive people.
 
She is not a single mother, she's 24, twice married, never married to her kid's father, married 1st husband at age 20 after only 5 months of dating (I warned her against that) and divorced exactly a year later, and now married to this man after 1.5 years of dating. Her husband does help out but she keeps complaining alot, "I'm tired, I have heartburn", etc.... she is going to school ON-LINE, not actual school itself.
She just enjoys being a drama queen.

NOTE TO SELF: NEver go anyplace with her again and I've been not talking to her since that day.


shel90 said:
If your niece is a single mom, I can understand how she feels. I am not a single mom but I feel tired all the time due to having a full-time job, kids, a house and all that so as a single mom, she probably has it worse than I do. There is just so much responsibility and things that needed to be done but not enough time in the day. It can get stressful which can lead to exhaustion.

Also, dont forget that she is going to school on top of everything...I have done that before..going to school while working full time but without kids and that WAS very very difficult.
Click to expand...
 
pixiestix said:
She is not a single mother, she's 24, twice married, never married to her kid's father, married 1st husband at age 20 after only 5 months of dating (I warned her against that) and divorced exactly a year later, and now married to this man after 1.5 years of dating. Her husband does help out but she keeps complaining alot, "I'm tired, I have heartburn", etc.... she is going to school ON-LINE, not actual school itself.
She just enjoys being a drama queen.

NOTE TO SELF: NEver go anyplace with her again and I've been not talking to her since that day.
Click to expand...


Well, you are the better judge than me since you know your niece personally. Hope she will realized what she is doing to herself by complaining all the time and find happiness within herself.
 
Could it be that she is asking you for help? (just a thought) Maybe she thinks of you as a good aunt or favorite aunt and would like to have you in her home to do things together there? Maybe wrong thinking there, but could be?
 
We only have finite time with which to live our lives. Is whining and complaining really that important?
 
I will say this completing a degree on-line takes a lot of self discipline because you have to make yourself log in and check your class assignments daily versus actually having to get up and go to a physical class. You have to pace yourself to stay on track with the class and not fall behind or get so far ahead that you've forgotten a majority of the early material. You can't just log in for 15 minutes then logout and called it good, you actually have to read the material assigned versus just sitting in a lecture and visually absorbing the material. I personally find on-line learning beneficial for my life because it is flexible.

I work a full-time job, I'm a single parent, I'm taking an online course along with a lab on Thursday nights on Campus, and I'm in a committed relationship, yet I still manage to pull it all together. I'm also involved in my child's activities in Girl Scouts as well as Awanas.

I would tell your cousin, that she may be right that your mom didn't express her exhaustion to you to keep you from feelings of guilt, but at the same time if she's just a young 24 without children, married, and has a full-time job while completing a degree on-line, she should expect exhaustion. Explain to her that people do feel exhausted at times but they don't treat it as if it were a chronic illness. If she says she is tired as often as she expresses it, suggest to her that she may need to see her doctor for underlying medical conditions that may cause the symptoms of tiredness all the time. At age 24 if she is healthy, she could feel tired from time to time, but not ALL the time. If she refuses to see her doctor about her chronic tiredness, then tell her she hasnt seen tired or exhausted until she has worked 4 jobs simultaneously, went to school, and reared a preschooler all without missing a beat. I think once she hears that real-life example, she'll get the hint that maybe her situation pales in comparison to others, while I must say my situation, however hectic it feels at times, must pale in comparison to someone else's.
 
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