Work Shift vs. Love

Lasza said:
I am here at last!! my work was totallly crazy for 2 days now. whew!

The reason I created this thread. Feel kinda sympathy on my friend. Let me tell ya. Last summer, I went to my other friend's party for July 4th. Chatted with my friend about work issues. She prefered 2nd or 3rd shift. I do understand her totally. Because I do same thing. i do like 2nd or 3rd shift so i can have errands to do during daytime without miss any workday. Anyway, she also will switch to first shift. I was confuse and ask her why she prefers 2nd/3rd shift in the first place. she said she has to switch to first shift for her unoffically gf's sake. I was like huh and ask her why?. she said her gf wanna her to be there alot of time in the bed, etc... her gf rather to see her alot than a little or nothing.

For me, I love my works and have better teamworks. Rather stay that way. Not let my future partner ask me to switch shifts. Unless a child show up in our lives then I might do.
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ahhhh that explain now.. geeeee... i agree with u
 
Cheri said:
No, because if my boyfriend had the same shift for a long time, why would I tell him to change his shift? It has been like this before I came along, so I wouldn't even ask him to change for anything, no matter how many hours he put in at his job, my love for him will still be the same. And my boyfriend knows what I do for the living and he respects my job/shifts also, even when I'm out of town traveling and putting in 15 hours a day. ;)
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:h5:
 
Well, my work schedule is crazy, and its always changing. If my Bf wants me to quit my job... no thanks because I need $$ plus I enjoy people at work. after the midpoint, legislative session will have crazy schedule and I can't control it.... I am not going to quit because of someone telling me to..... Most of time for now I work late morning to early afternoon twice a week.
 
racheleggert said:
Well, my work schedule is crazy, and its always changing. If my Bf wants me to quit my job... no thanks because I need $$ plus I enjoy people at work. after the midpoint, legislative session will have crazy schedule and I can't control it.... I am not going to quit because of someone telling me to..... Most of time for now I work late morning to early afternoon twice a week.
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Right it's not easy to find a job, but good thing you only working twice a week..Well your b/f isn't your husband as you need money for yourself and to live on. If you were married and have one income if you can afford to be not work.. just my two cents here. I know it's hard look at our grandparents had it hard as well I use to work two jobs for three years... hang in there..
 
racheleggert said:
Well, my work schedule is crazy, and its always changing. If my Bf wants me to quit my job... no thanks because I need $$ plus I enjoy people at work. after the midpoint, legislative session will have crazy schedule and I can't control it.... I am not going to quit because of someone telling me to..... Most of time for now I work late morning to early afternoon twice a week.
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My ex boyfriend used to tell me to quit my job and get a local job, I don't think so, I've been working for this company over 15 years and nobody is gonna tell me to quit a job that pays me so well.

I think with me traveling and working, will make me miss my boyfriend more, and would come home and share so much of that loving feeling with him, I think that would make our relationship stronger and much more in love than ever. ;)
 
And, also either one would like to have their own space in the house for awhile such as lesiure time via private. Sometimes, it helps a person to think of the plans without interference. I would prefer like what Cheri stated.
 
Well, let me tell you what happened about roughly 15 yrs ago. I don't know what you mean by 1st shift, 2nd shift & 3rd shift so over here in Australia, we have dayshift, nightshift and graveyard shift. My hubby was working night shift permanent for a long time and I worked day shift. The reason why my hubby working nights is because it pays more money than dayshift. We hardly see & talk to each other during the week and only see each other on weekends or half of the weekends cos he sleeps till about 1 pm. I was growing tired of being lonely at night during the week with cooking my own dinner & having it on my own, watching TV on my own (hubby not there to cuddle to), no one to talk to (no communcation with hubby), goes out on my own to family or friends outings (not having my hubby with me at my side) and other things like that. It's feel like I am a widow. It got me drinking heavily just to relieve my boredom at night until one night it almost killed me. There is more to it but I am not gonna give too much details about it and I prefer to keep it to myself and my husband. So I cut down my drinking to minimum but the boredom still goes on and it was getting painful with me for not having a partner to communicate with and to go out with. I was seriously thinking splitting up with my husband and get a divorce because of that reason he was working nights and I was very lonely at nights.
One day one of my friends and I was talking about my situation and about my husband working nights. My friend said that my hubby need to change to dayshift so we both can spend time together and do things together. My friend suggested that I tell my hubby what is important, marriage or money? So I wait for the right timing when my hubby and I both sit down and have a talk to each other before he goes to work. I ask my hubby what is more important, our marriage or money and I explained my situation to him about how lonely I was at nights without him being with me. I told him I feel like a widow. So I ask him to think about changing to dayshift to save our marriage cos I am not going to put up with him working nights anymore. That got my hubby into a very big deep thought and decision to decide what he wants to do. He decide to change to dayshift to save our marriage. After all of that talks, he went to work late and he explained to his boss about our situation. His boss gave him a week off before he goes on dayshift so he can adjusted his sleeping routine to dayshift.
Ever since that, we are soo much happier and still married. Next month it will be our 24th year wedding anniversary. My hubby say he will never work nights ever again. Its okay one works night shift for a short time but not permenant cos it can ruins relationship such like we almost did. My hubby said some guys at his work end up split up/divorced because their girlfriend/wife couldn't handle it being on their own at night. Now do you understand what I mean?
 
having different shifts can be challenging, for me i would not want to make my partner change shifts for me -- i know ill be able to see my partner for several hours every day so thats no problem with me cuz im always busy!! :dunno:
 
Wow, that's interesting to dicussion about.

Honestly, I rather to work on Dayshift, not nightshift or graveyard at all because I love to working during the day to keeping me as busy at my job. Even, my job gives my schudule very not stable and my boyfriend Sequoias got sick of it, why? Because it got me V-E-R-Y grumpy & bitch mostly of time. He asked me to change my shifts, I told him that I cannot because there's not enough of staffs to working, very short staffs that's why my shifts being mess up every week, never stable. So we have to wait until we hire more and more of new staffs then I could go back to normal hours that I want to work on. And, Sequoias will work from 6pm to 2:30am and it wouldn't bother me as long as he have the insurance card for himself period. (since my job won't allow me add him up until we get marry first.)

Koala, wow I didn't know that it could ruin marraige because I grew up with my parents who was working different shifts.. My dad worked Dayshift and my mom worked graveyard. Because they only had a car, don't have enough money to support four kids on their own with small house of only three rooms(living room where kids sleep in, bedroom without the door where my parents sleep in include the bathroom in and another room is dining room/kitchen room together), and that time I was VERY, VERY sick for three years and even they cannot afford hostpail bills, etc etc for me include my sister(young one) almost died from born plus, my brother(young one) have athsma when he was kid. Yes, that's how very poor we was on that time. My parents decided to work different shifts so it will be easier for them to support everybody and everything until I became between of 9 to 12 years old, my mom finally moved up to Dayshift to working since they got two cars, moved to a new house that have 6 bedrooms, three bathrooms, three living rooms, two kitchen rooms, three dining rooms, with the pool in the back yard. It is two houses in as a house that you will see outside like it's a house but inside, it's two houses together. So, that old house I told you about when I was a kid, my dad saved some money up and damage that house and building a new & nice house up on his own hands with few of my uncles, cousins and etc who helped him to bulding it up for kids and family, it did have four bedrooms, two bathrooms, one living room, one dining room, one kitchen room. I never forgot that. But my parents have been still together since December 22, 1983. I thank them for being strong for us and everything that we need to. :) But I'm so glad that you worked your marriage out with your husband since people are different you know what I mean?
 
Koala said:
Well, let me tell you what happened about roughly 15 yrs ago. I don't know what you mean by 1st shift, 2nd shift & 3rd shift so over here in Australia, we have dayshift, nightshift and graveyard shift. My hubby was working night shift permanent for a long time and I worked day shift. The reason why my hubby working nights is because it pays more money than dayshift. We hardly see & talk to each other during the week and only see each other on weekends or half of the weekends cos he sleeps till about 1 pm. I was growing tired of being lonely at night during the week with cooking my own dinner & having it on my own, watching TV on my own (hubby not there to cuddle to), no one to talk to (no communcation with hubby), goes out on my own to family or friends outings (not having my hubby with me at my side) and other things like that. It's feel like I am a widow. It got me drinking heavily just to relieve my boredom at night until one night it almost killed me. There is more to it but I am not gonna give too much details about it and I prefer to keep it to myself and my husband. So I cut down my drinking to minimum but the boredom still goes on and it was getting painful with me for not having a partner to communicate with and to go out with. I was seriously thinking splitting up with my husband and get a divorce because of that reason he was working nights and I was very lonely at nights.
One day one of my friends and I was talking about my situation and about my husband working nights. My friend said that my hubby need to change to dayshift so we both can spend time together and do things together. My friend suggested that I tell my hubby what is important, marriage or money? So I wait for the right timing when my hubby and I both sit down and have a talk to each other before he goes to work. I ask my hubby what is more important, our marriage or money and I explained my situation to him about how lonely I was at nights without him being with me. I told him I feel like a widow. So I ask him to think about changing to dayshift to save our marriage cos I am not going to put up with him working nights anymore. That got my hubby into a very big deep thought and decision to decide what he wants to do. He decide to change to dayshift to save our marriage. After all of that talks, he went to work late and he explained to his boss about our situation. His boss gave him a week off before he goes on dayshift so he can adjusted his sleeping routine to dayshift.
Ever since that, we are soo much happier and still married. Next month it will be our 24th year wedding anniversary. My hubby say he will never work nights ever again. Its okay one works night shift for a short time but not permenant cos it can ruins relationship such like we almost did. My hubby said some guys at his work end up split up/divorced because their girlfriend/wife couldn't handle it being on their own at night. Now do you understand what I mean?
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That's awesome, COMMUNICATION is important... smile glad all worked out great smile... just sometime it can be done if not then it's tough... smile good to hear ...

 
my ex wife couldnt stand me working 2nd shift despite my explanation that I had grown so used to working that shift for so long before I met her.

I havent been much of a day person since I had been working nights for almost 18 years starting in high school. I tried working days, but it wasnt my cup of tea as I had grown so used to the routine working night shift gave me.

I know how hard it is on relationships. Ive experienced that. But then I need my own time and 2nd shift has, and will, always be my own refuge. Besides 24/7/365 relationship without a break is like a disaster waiting around the corner.
 
If I work and dating at same time.. I would see my future boyfriend on weekends because I tend to get tired after work, and in spring time its crazy because my shifts usually change all of times, sometimes morning to afternoon, sometimes afternoon to evening even into night.... never know if they gotta have marathon session then I would have to stay there all night like what happened last May.
 
I think first shift is better for me cuz I can do errands then be home early but i used to work 3rd shift few summers ago but I didn't like the idea once I get off late at night then i can't go out cuz too dark outside.. blah but if I ever find a full time job or whatever then I can always stick to first shift but depend on availablity of schedule depend on where u work.
 
I prefer 1st shift to 2nd cuz i want to spend more time with my family. I dont want to work 2nd shift but at least the 2nd shift has a good pay..
 
Koala said:
Well, let me tell you what happened about roughly 15 yrs ago. I don't know what you mean by 1st shift, 2nd shift & 3rd shift so over here in Australia, we have dayshift, nightshift and graveyard shift. My hubby was working night shift permanent for a long time and I worked day shift. The reason why my hubby working nights is because it pays more money than dayshift. We hardly see & talk to each other during the week and only see each other on weekends or half of the weekends cos he sleeps till about 1 pm. I was growing tired of being lonely at night during the week with cooking my own dinner & having it on my own, watching TV on my own (hubby not there to cuddle to), no one to talk to (no communcation with hubby), goes out on my own to family or friends outings (not having my hubby with me at my side) and other things like that. It's feel like I am a widow. It got me drinking heavily just to relieve my boredom at night until one night it almost killed me. There is more to it but I am not gonna give too much details about it and I prefer to keep it to myself and my husband. So I cut down my drinking to minimum but the boredom still goes on and it was getting painful with me for not having a partner to communicate with and to go out with. I was seriously thinking splitting up with my husband and get a divorce because of that reason he was working nights and I was very lonely at nights.
One day one of my friends and I was talking about my situation and about my husband working nights. My friend said that my hubby need to change to dayshift so we both can spend time together and do things together. My friend suggested that I tell my hubby what is important, marriage or money? So I wait for the right timing when my hubby and I both sit down and have a talk to each other before he goes to work. I ask my hubby what is more important, our marriage or money and I explained my situation to him about how lonely I was at nights without him being with me. I told him I feel like a widow. So I ask him to think about changing to dayshift to save our marriage cos I am not going to put up with him working nights anymore. That got my hubby into a very big deep thought and decision to decide what he wants to do. He decide to change to dayshift to save our marriage. After all of that talks, he went to work late and he explained to his boss about our situation. His boss gave him a week off before he goes on dayshift so he can adjusted his sleeping routine to dayshift.
Ever since that, we are soo much happier and still married. Next month it will be our 24th year wedding anniversary. My hubby say he will never work nights ever again. Its okay one works night shift for a short time but not permenant cos it can ruins relationship such like we almost did. My hubby said some guys at his work end up split up/divorced because their girlfriend/wife couldn't handle it being on their own at night. Now do you understand what I mean?
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That's exactly what happened to me, very similar like your situation. 6 years ago, my daughter and I moved 3 hours away from my hometown where my family and friends were. As I started to settle there, i got a dayshift job and my boyfriend had 2nd shift. a week went by.. I realized I was so lonely, I hardly got to see him. It was just me and my daughter. I had no friends either, I was a newbie in that town. 3 months went by, I finally told my boyfriend how I felt and he still wouldn't change it because his boss prefers him to stay with 2nd shift. I thought well maybe I'll just give it another week or so. a week went by.. nothing worked, my daughter was lonely, I was lonely. I had another talk with my boyfriend and told him if he doesn't change his shifts, I was moving back to my hometown where I feel I belonged. He agreed that I should move back. I was very upset with the way he did this. But to think of it, I thought I was being selfish. I just felt I made the right choice because I hardly see him. As I came back home, it felt the same as I lived in another town.. 3 weeks went by, he calls me and says he misses me and would like to come down and visit for the weekend. So he did. We talked for hours. He realized he was being selfish on his part for not being a part of my and my daughter's life. (he's never been married or have kids) He didn't understand that he had to share his life with mine and my child if he loved us. So he decided to move in with me and try again. It was hard the first couple of months because we both didn't have a job. He got a job with 1st shift and I stayed home to take care of my daughter. It worked out just great! now 6 years has passed, things are soo much better and it was meant to be.


It really depends on how an individual can have the patience and time for themself or their family. If you're going to have a gf/bf, make sure you have time for them. Its not all about you. If you can't handle the heat with having someone on your ass about 2nd or 3rd, then maybe you're just better off being alone. If you truely love that person, work something out to make it better and keep a long relationship. and IMPORTANTLY, communicate!!! very important to understand each other!
 
Sweetheart said:
Wow, that's interesting to dicussion about.

Honestly, I rather to work on Dayshift, not nightshift or graveyard at all because I love to working during the day to keeping me as busy at my job. Even, my job gives my schudule very not stable and my boyfriend Sequoias got sick of it, why? Because it got me V-E-R-Y grumpy & bitch mostly of time. He asked me to change my shifts, I told him that I cannot because there's not enough of staffs to working, very short staffs that's why my shifts being mess up every week, never stable. So we have to wait until we hire more and more of new staffs then I could go back to normal hours that I want to work on. And, Sequoias will work from 6pm to 2:30am and it wouldn't bother me as long as he have the insurance card for himself period. (since my job won't allow me add him up until we get marry first.)

Koala, wow I didn't know that it could ruin marraige because I grew up with my parents who was working different shifts.. My dad worked Dayshift and my mom worked graveyard. Because they only had a car, don't have enough money to support four kids on their own with small house of only three rooms(living room where kids sleep in, bedroom without the door where my parents sleep in include the bathroom in and another room is dining room/kitchen room together), and that time I was VERY, VERY sick for three years and even they cannot afford hostpail bills, etc etc for me include my sister(young one) almost died from born plus, my brother(young one) have athsma when he was kid. Yes, that's how very poor we was on that time. My parents decided to work different shifts so it will be easier for them to support everybody and everything until I became between of 9 to 12 years old, my mom finally moved up to Dayshift to working since they got two cars, moved to a new house that have 6 bedrooms, three bathrooms, three living rooms, two kitchen rooms, three dining rooms, with the pool in the back yard. It is two houses in as a house that you will see outside like it's a house but inside, it's two houses together. So, that old house I told you about when I was a kid, my dad saved some money up and damage that house and building a new & nice house up on his own hands with few of my uncles, cousins and etc who helped him to bulding it up for kids and family, it did have four bedrooms, two bathrooms, one living room, one dining room, one kitchen room. I never forgot that. But my parents have been still together since December 22, 1983. I thank them for being strong for us and everything that we need to. :) But I'm so glad that you worked your marriage out with your husband since people are different you know what I mean?
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It really varies on people. some people can handle the 2nd or graveshift without a fight. some people just prefer to spend at least a couple of hours together everyday. As long as you can communicate, you'll be okay.
 
Although working so much & varies shifts is always hard on couples either way ya look at it. But if the couple truley loved each & working together to making that life together. Then it really shouldn't be a problem. Sure some get lonely. Especially when one is gone off to work for a while or even gone on military duties. But the heart is with that someone you love & should always support each other no matter what the situation might be to make a love & lasting relationship with one another:)
 
Well I dont know what to say about three work shifts, my husband is always at work, he is workalcohlic, as I am used to this life for 20 years.

At first I was complained he work all silly hours, I know I must be grateful he got a job not on the dole and he loves his job sooooo much because he run his own business with other partner, most of time I wish he works at 9 to 5pm for someone, but no, everyone has to work for a living, I like my life on my own with my daughters as I am used to it like a Single Mum, yes but I know I am married, but this life.

He helped me as much as he can, for example he can chose which hour off from work to take my daughter to the city for teeth obst appointment, with me I can't, I must ask my boss's permission first. - some good and some bad.

His dinner is always in the microwave waiting for him on his home arrival very late say between 8 to 11pm, sometimes don't bother to eat since he had a takeway and won't be home till 1am
 
Work and personal should be kept separate. I wouldn't change my shift just to be with this person and I wouldn't be dating this person in the first place.
 
I also want to add something... My family don't care, they just accept my work schedule. Since we all are adults, we have our own schedules, and as I said in other post that we do live in a house as bunch of roommates. I used to take too many classes and working, it affected me to have stress so I decide to take one class after a advice from a friend who go to same college as me but work at same place/ different depts.
 
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