Why is it that relationships with age gaps seem to spark such fear in people?

drphil said:
n "interesting" question- what happens to "love" when the physical effects occur-say extreme weakened muscles or relevance here-DEAFness over a weekend?
Only "love counts"?
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If the relationship is "COMMITED" which means Love is love, until death do us part.
 
Well, I look at the maturity level....and I've been around the block. Once I dated someone who was 11 years younger, and after awhile, it began to bother me....I would say 5 years younger would be fine with me, but not more than that....

Also, I had a friend that was 42 and married someone who just turned 18....say what?!....And that marriage didn't last 6 months.....
 
My reason for preferring older guys is that they tends to be more mature than the younger ones, they are more stable with life (Has a car, a place and a job.) Now, that is not always the case with everybody though.

My last relationship, the age gap was 21 years. That was the oldest i have ever went with guys. I must say that it was too much of a difference for me. I can see myself with a guy that is closer to the 15-17 years difference mark.
(25-38 years old.)
Older gents tends to have a very DIFFERENT interest and Opinions on things, so it is most likely not going to work. But some people just click right in. It really depends on the person themselves. Age is just numbers (in the reasonable gap lol.)
 
the veterens got there points but myself i would be unhappy if my son or daughter married someone that much older,i want them to experience life maybe the older one if he loves the younger one would wait a year or so and let that person spread their wings or it least give them the option
 
Recently my friend who is 42 and shes in relationship with a guy who is 65 . They look very happy together. Cool.
 
Wirelessly posted

Age just does that people date and marry with gaps in age. My guy is younger than me. We are fine :)
 
MushyCookies said:
My reason for preferring older guys is that they tends to be more mature than the younger ones, they are more stable with life (Has a car, a place and a job.) Now, that is not always the case with everybody though.

My last relationship, the age gap was 21 years. That was the oldest i have ever went with guys. I must say that it was too much of a difference for me. I can see myself with a guy that is closer to the 15-17 years difference mark.
(25-38 years old.)
Older gents tends to have a very DIFFERENT interest and Opinions on things, so it is most likely not going to work. But some people just click right in. It really depends on the person themselves. Age is just numbers (in the reasonable gap lol.)
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Age is just a number. It doesn't matter if one is older or younger, but what matters most is the maturity level! Many young people can act their age or even older while a lot of older people can be very immature!
 
I know, which is why I said "older guys TENDS to be more mature" but yes, I know a few younger people that are very mature, and some immature ones that happen to be older.
 
Before I met my wife, I was on DSC and one woman contacted me though DSC e-mail and I was 44 and she was 21 at that time. She find interest in me with the words I posted on the site. In her writing, I found her that she seem extremely intelligent for her age and even she's comical person. I was attracted to her because of our communication clicked and I haven't laughed as much as other women I met. She mentioned that she rather dated an older man and she did married much older man, like my age. She said that during the marriage, he changed, developing more jealousy, controlling and such. Which of course I can understand that she's a beautiful woman and he get enraged when he saw younger men approached her and and flirt with her and such. She did kept pushing him away. She said that she get tired of keep repeating to say..."Hey..I'm happily married" and at the same time she get tired of her husband ranting on her.
So during our long communications over the time and she mentioned that she have a one and half year old child. Then I think more about myself if I want to start all over again raising children. It doesn't mean I hate children, I already raised my two beautiful kids from previous marriage and they all living on their own. And with my age, it just like I'm ready to go back to go on adventure again with my special SO. You know to explore the world with extreme sports. Having child in my life will limited to do what I want to do with "us". So, with age differences, younger women with children and such, she was in love with me, but I'm almost in love with her but I told her the truth of what I want in my life. I know myself that she's a beautiful intelligent woman, she was in college going for PhD degree and such... but this, with having very young children...it's a tough decision... so, I told her it's not going to work out. She was pretty upset about it because she been trying to pegged me and such, she know that I love children but she just trying to win it over. She know that we are a perfect match... but I have to look at myself, if I"m with her as a life time partner with children, I may be depress and missing out what I want to do compared to sacrifice a beautiful woman and go for my goal as an adventurers.
This was my first time to met a woman with huge age differences.. but I don't have a problem with it but I just have to use my reality of what going to happen. So, I'm glad what I did and I'm much happier what I'm doing now.
You know it's like my life is richer because she was in my life. She's in my age range....and we enjoyed relaxing in a private island watching sunset about to disappeared instead of hearing the baby screaming.... sigh... very distractiing....
 
am new here to say that the age means NOTHING! Feel the Love in your Heart is the answer.
57 yo white male HD biker, any single girl in Central Valley (CA)?
 
I see nothing wrong with age differences.

Although, looking at your own children's ages when remarrying or going into another relationship with someone... is something to be considered.

I know of a guy who has several kids of his own (with a previous wife) and married a woman whose age is very close to his own children. In fact, she was young enough to be his own daughter. It created a lot of tension between his own kids and his own wife.
 
I dunno what the stigma's all about; my last girlfriend was 9 years older than me. I say live and let live. His/her/their relationships aren't my relationships; as such, I need to keep my nose out of it, and vice versa. It's really too bad that people can't see it that way, though.
 
Cdodd said:
I dunno what the stigma's all about; my last girlfriend was 9 years older than me. I say live and let live. His/her/their relationships aren't my relationships; as such, I need to keep my nose out of it, and vice versa. It's really too bad that people can't see it that way, though.
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There are some people who don't take their own advice, and they fail because they didn't take their own advice.

I've seen women talk about the kind of men they like and the kind of men they don't like. Yet, they go after the men (that fits their "don't like" category)... only to end up being abused, knocked up, dumped horribly, cheated on, etc. I guess they like the "pity" attention they're given when they fail. :roll:
 
VamPyroX said:
There are some people who don't take their own advice, and they fail because they didn't take their own advice.

I've seen women talk about the kind of men they like and the kind of men they don't like. Yet, they go after the men (that fits their "don't like" category)... only to end up being abused, knocked up, dumped horribly, cheated on, etc. I guess they like the "pity" attention they're given when they fail. :roll:
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That's kind of harsh to assume the women doing this for pity. I fell in love with a man in my "dont like category" against all of my logic/reasoning. Love makes one do stupid things and take alot risks. I would say the same about my male friends who have annoying exes though I still would have not said they did it for pity either.

I know for sure I did not do this for pity. He is the total opposite of my type to start with. Fates happened. Some of us get the bad dice roll while others get lucky.


To the topic- I would say its been done forever throughout history. Nothing new but I think the fears are a psychological reaction. I would immediately think an older man is old enough to be my father if its more than 20 years apart. I would cringe. Some people react with fear for different reasons. Some are jealous. Some just have nothing else better to do but judge other peoples love with their own yardstick and not focus on themselves what makes one happy.
 
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