why do men abuse their women?

MoonDrifter said:
You're right about that, aggressive behavior is seen as primal, therefore classified as animalistic. What I was saying is that people are consciously aware of their actions (except for drugs or mental loss of self-control) which shows that they have choices in life. I said it was personal choice because each person has the option of hurting someone or not.

I hope that makes sense.
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Personal choice or not, it does not make it right at all just because they were having drug or alcohol abuse or mental illness. They should either go to mental hospital or go to jail for what happen to women and men for being beaten up. :roll:
 
rjcon88 said:
Men who abuse women are worthless in my opinion.

But as a man, I just would like to say (in a very small squeaky voice) not all of us are assholes.
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good to know there are still good men out there. I was affected greatly by abuse from my ex fiance. took me running for my life to realize to not go back for more. women abuse men sometimes too. we dont hear about it as often because there isnt a good support system for men yet. there are no battered mens shelters out there that im aware of ya know! it happens to both. the trick is to learn from ur abuse if uve been unfortunate to have to deal with it and to never allow it to happen again! just because u were abused doesnt give u the right to be the abuser!!!
 
Bebonang said:
That is why I do not understand why men have to be in physical fighting sport like football, boxing and wrestling. Is that how men learn to do this to men and also toward women Q. Men who are in abusive behavior toward anyone whether man or woman areB]
:shock:
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well i dont agree that physical sports make people more apt to be violent partners or parents.... I used to box and i am physical w that punching bag or in the ring but i do not carry that fighting skill outside of the ring. though i do stand up for myself if someone come after me like self defense though! but as an ex fighter i can say for myself that should not be a reason why someone would be abusive..... just my point of view.
 
There are a lot of reasons why people are abusive. Insecurity, drug and/or alcohol abuse, background- the kind of environment one grows up in has a lot to do with it. Some people often internalize their frustrations and do not know how to express themselves in non-violent ways. Of course, that's just my opinion. I'm not a trained counselor or psychologist.
 
I could ask this...

Why do women abuse their men?

I've seen women who go around accusing their men of being assholes. Yet, those women go around like whores sleeping with other men.

I've seen women accuse men of not being considerate. Yet, those women go around punching holes in walls and scratching men up like rabid cats.

I've seen women accuse men of changing too much. Yet, those women change more than we change our underwear.

While men can be assholes, women can be bitches too. :roll:
 
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Stick it to the man, Vamp! Err, I mean wo-man.
But on a serious note, I wholeheartedly see it goes both ways as just described.
"Look both ways before you cross the street."
 
VamPyroX said:
I could ask this...

Why do women abuse their men?

I've seen women who go around accusing their men of being assholes. Yet, those women go around like whores sleeping with other men.

I've seen women accuse men of not being considerate. Yet, those women go around punching holes in walls and scratching men up like rabid cats.

I've seen women accuse men of changing too much. Yet, those women change more than we change our underwear.

While men can be assholes, women can be bitches too. :roll:
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It does go both ways. I have seen women treat their S.O. like shit. I also seen men treat their S.O. like shit.

Men are more opt to stay quiet about it. Men fear they will be mocked or lose what ever man hood they may have left, in their minds.
 
There are many different reasons on why some men who had abused women.

For one...

Jealous and insecure.

Two...

feels the need to be in control to get what they want.

Three...

had learned to be violent from their families, their fathers, or any other male role models.


Four....

Love the power when women are powerless.
 
darkage said:
Many years, my wife is angry management for no reason. She attacked me. I am not happy to have scratch marks on my left arms. Won't fad for long time.

Long time ago, I lived in Seattle. The woman picked other guy to marry instead date with me. Few years later, I surprised to hear that woman sent her husband to the hospital. Wow, she is stronger to beat her husband.
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such a good thing, you were not him who went to the hospital. :shock: sorry about your past.
 
word play

why do women abuse men?
why is it you view only one side?
the question is why do humans abuse humans.
you left out half of humanity. a twist....a form of abuse in itself.
 
Abusing someone because you were abused is stupid, and men who abuse their wives, girlfriends are a$$holes. Theres no other way to look at it. The real question is why do women who are being abused stay with the a$$hole?
 
cdaigle430 said:
Abusing someone because you were abused is stupid, and men who abuse their wives, girlfriends are a$$holes. Theres no other way to look at it. The real question is why do women who are being abused stay with the a$$hole?
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Why do women stay...several reasons

Fear for their and their children's lives

No money

No outside support system

Brainwashed into accepting this behavior

Feelings that they deserve it


It is not simple as just getting up and leaving. I wish it was but in reality, it is far far too complex.

It is a shame. These women deserve support instead of criticism for not leaving their abuser. When they have that, the chances of them leaving increase.
 
Thats so messed up, and hopefully wrong. My mother-the mother of 6 children at the time, feared for her life and ours and no money, left the bastage and we ended up at a local shelter for women. We never looked back even to this day. I also know women who left their abusers, go back, leave their abuser again and go back again-why? I also know women who would rather be with an abusive guy than a nice guy, why? I have seen this over and over again and its very confusing.
 
cdaigle430 said:
Thats so messed up, and hopefully wrong. My mother-the mother of 6 children at the time, feared for her life and ours and no money, left the bastage and we ended up at a local shelter for women. We never looked back even to this day. I also know women who left their abusers, go back, leave their abuser again and go back again-why? I also know women who would rather be with an abusive guy than a nice guy, why? I have seen this over and over again and its very confusing.
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People are complex..sometimes there are no answers to why people do the things they do.

Your mom was very brave and I applaud her for taking that step to get herself and all kids out of danger.
 
I was never in a relationship where the guy was abusive. But I have been abused by my father...for sooo many years. Bloody noses, bruises, etc. And it confuses me, because I'm the only one he did it to. Not to my mom OR my brothers. I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder because of him and all that stuff. I'm working on forgiving him though. He hasn't put his hands on me in one year, so that's pretty good at least. :) But yeah, the abuse was ignored by everyone. It was horrible. But it's getting better, thankfully!

Why do people abuse other people? It could be various reasons. Poor role modeling, self-esteem issues, anger, hurt, etc. etc. The list could go on and on. I don't know why my dad just started abusing me one day. Maybe because I grew up. I don't know. He still thinks it's my fault...so I really don't know what led him to do that.

And I've had a boyfriend who was emotionally abusive, but not physically...
 
abuse is a horrible horrible thing

It is sad how much of it goes on. We are beginning to know a lot about it. It was not that long ago such things were very private and there was no way to stop the cyclical affects of it. It was locked up in our old male dominated culture like a safe. Abused children become parents and have often continued this sickness in our culture. I believe at the roots of it are two things alcohol and nowadays some kinds of drug abuse: substance abuse number one and equal to number one, anger.
It is up to each and all of us to understand what it is, especially the ones living it.
I have known some very very strong people get tangled up in this. It is not a sign of weakness, it is simply something to deal with that has to be stopped.
I was abused as a child by a stepmother who I later found out had been abused herself. My heart goes out to everyone who has to deal with the effects of abuse. It is an ugly ugly thing and only we can stop it.
 
Not everyone who wasa bused as a kid grows up to be violent as an adult. It is widely known that Micheal Jackson was abused as a child, bloody noses, beatings with saps, belts, whips etc. After a spanking he threw a shoe at his dad, his father screamed out "BOY! YOU JUST SIGNED YOUR DEATH WARRANT!", held him upside down by one leg and pummeled him until he was unconscious.

He grew up to be actually one of the most timid and insecure celebrities ever. His wives divorced him not because of abusive behavior, but because of his strangeness.
 
Dixie said:
Not everyone who wasa bused as a kid grows up to be violent as an adult. It is widely known that Micheal Jackson was abused as a child, bloody noses, beatings with saps, belts, whips etc. After a spanking he threw a shoe at his dad, his father screamed out "BOY! YOU JUST SIGNED YOUR DEATH WARRANT!", held him upside down by one leg and pummeled him until he was unconscious.

He grew up to be actually one of the most timid and insecure celebrities ever. His wives divorced him not because of abusive behavior, but because of his strangeness.
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Maybe you should choose someone else....he very well may have abused young boys......
 
I did not mean to sound like it is an absolute that it passes on as being an abuser. It has an effect though. And that is where it can be dealt with.
In me it a determination to not be a passer on of it. It took a lot of my youth away as the anger ran my life as well as the shattered confidence and fear of people. Some things take longer than others to heal from. For me it was only forty years.
 
inspirabull said:
I did not mean to sound like it is an absolute that it passes on as being an abuser. It has an effect though. And that is where it can be dealt with.
In me it a determination to not be a passer on of it. It took a lot of my youth away as the anger ran my life as well as the shattered confidence and fear of people. Some things take longer than others to heal from. For me it was only forty years.
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:hug:

The abuse cycle is a vicious one, aye?

I can relate with you there.
 
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