Why do deaf get offended when hearing people....

[jillio]

I wouldn't say they are eavesdropping 98% of the time... to eavesdrop would be to understand what you are saying ... most of the people who stare don't understand a single sign. I'm not saying that it isn't RUDE, I do think it can be very rude. I'd say it's mostly curiosity that makes people stare though, hearing people probably don't see many people signing, to be honest I've gone my whole life only seeing 1, maybe 2 people signing (until I began learning ASL and emersing myself into the Deaf world) ...

Motive doesn't mitigate the rude behavior. Still rude, still unacceptable.

 

[rabbit]

Motive doesn't mitigate the rude behavior. Still rude, still unacceptable.

I wasn't arguing that point, if you'd re-read my comment you'll see how I said that I think it IS rude of people to do so. I guess I'm just more patient with staring people... I wear formal clothing (suits, etc) on almost a daily basis (and pretty much all of my childhood), which is something most people don't see young people doing, I was subject to constant questioning glances and often people approaching me and saying "so why are you all dressed up?" in a childish voice as if to say I couldn't understand what they're saying if they were to speak like a civilized adult. To be patient and understanding toward this sort of thing just became a trait in my own personality. (smile)

 

[HearingSwede]

It's obviously rude to stare. It doesn't matter what the reason is or what the person is thinking; even though I, as a hearing person with a long history of being interested in sign language (more or less since I was a young child) can certainly see the appeal. If I see people signing in public, I will make a mental note of it, but I would NEVER stare. It may, in part, be a cultural thing for me since my background is in a culture where simply locking eyes with someone you don't know (unless you have some business dealing with that person, like in a store) is considered to be borderline creepy. I often see young children staring at things and people that fascinate them, but most adults seem to know better. I'm sure that most people, regardless of their cultural background, know better than to stare at people, but I can imagine that the few who do are enough to drive people insane. It's rude and it's uncivilized.

 

[jillio]

I wasn't arguing that point, if you'd re-read my comment you'll see how I said that I think it IS rude of people to do so. I guess I'm just more patient with staring people... I wear formal clothing (suits, etc) on almost a daily basis (and pretty much all of my childhood), which is something most people don't see young people doing, I was subject to constant questioning glances and often people approaching me and saying "so why are you all dressed up?" in a childish voice as if to say I couldn't understand what they're saying if they were to speak like a civilized adult. To be patient and understanding toward this sort of thing just became a trait in my own personality. (smile)

You can hardly equate a question about your clothing with the stares afforded two people signing in public.

 

[stikynoterightr]

As someone who is hearing and has had little experience with the Deaf culture I am stuck somewhere in the middle on this. I have been told and understand that it is rude to stare at people while they are signing to each other because it is a private conversation. I was told it's equivalent to walking up to two hearing people who are speaking and and asking them to speak louder because you can't hear there private conversation (you know what I mean.)

I know personally that because I haven't had much experience with ASL and would like to meet and be friends with people from the Deaf community that I am naturally curious if I notice people signing. But because of what I learning about staring being rude I make it a point to say to myself "Don't stare because its rude."

I think hearing people have to realize that if we want to learn ASL and get a chance to meet people from the Deaf community then we should be taking ASL classes and attending the social gatherings (like mixers and stuff) that a lot of schools are offering which are made for that kind of learning. At those kind of social gatherings the people there will know that there will be ASL students who are new and trying to learn and will probably be more willing to teach then say when a ASL student goes up to a person who is signing in the middle of dinner when they're with their family and friends and asks to be taught ASL.


Does any of that make sense to anyone? I was typing it a little fast and I don't know if its worded just right.

 

[Mayberry]

Here's a question.

Is it rude for deaf people to watch hearing people's lips when they're engaged in conversation? In the same way, how is it rude for hearing people to watch deaf people sign?

 

[shel90]

Here's a question.

Is it rude for deaf people to watch hearing people's lips when they're engaged in conversation? In the same way, how is it rude for hearing people to watch deaf people sign?

Staring is rude so yea, I would assume that it is just as rude if deaf people do that.

For myself, since I hate reading lips, I sure wouldn't try to read lip other people's conversations for no reason. I would rather be looking around the room oir doing something else better with my time.

Do u know of a situation that happened? If so, iam curious, if u don't mind, sharing it?

 

[Mayberry]

Staring is rude so yea, I would assume that it is just as rude if deaf people do that.

For myself, since I hate reading lips, I sure wouldn't try to read lip other people's conversations for no reason. I would rather be looking around the room oir doing something else better with my time.

Do u know of a situation that happened? If so, iam curious, if u don't mind, sharing it?

I was actually asking a rhetorical question. =D I don't think it's rude for hearing people to watch deaf people sign, unless it's in an, "Oh, my God, look at those stupid people flailing their arms!" kind of way.

I also don't think it's rude for deaf people to watch hearing people talk unless it's in an, "Oh, my God, look at those stupid people flapping their lips!" kind of way.

Neither can understand the other, so how is it rude?

 

[jillio]

I was actually asking a rhetorical question. =D I don't think it's rude for hearing people to watch deaf people sign, unless it's in an, "Oh, my God, look at those stupid people flailing their arms!" kind of way.

I also don't think it's rude for deaf people to watch hearing people talk unless it's in an, "Oh, my God, look at those stupid people flapping their lips!" kind of way.

Neither can understand the other, so how is it rude?

Simply becasue staring is rude, period.

 

[Cheri]

well when the deaf have had to deal with people who are nasty and outright rude then I can understand why they would consider it rude but sometimes I think some deaf are too quick to get offended and maybe should find out what their motives for watching two people sign is before they jump down their throats.

Because deaf people don't like to be stare and eye dropping on their conversation. We don't eye dropping on hearing people's conversation. If they're interesting in learning sign language or know sign language and want to talk to us, then come on over, but don't stare, because it's like they're trying to find out what we are talking about, our sign conversation isn't for the whole world to know.


Even when my interpreters and I sign to each others, the people in the lobby would just stare at us the entire time. It's like what? Am I 'contagious' to you all or what?

 

[InTheGenes]

Neither can understand the other, so how is it rude?

Well, first off, that's an assumption. Maybe the hearing person can't understand the signed conversation, maybe they can. Maybe the deaf person can read the lips of the hearing conversants, maybe they can't.

The bottom line is, for many people, it's simply rude to stare, in and of itself. It's impossible to know the starer's motivation. Are they merely curious? Do they think the signers are freakish? Are they strangely attracted to one or both of the signers? Are they secretly plotting how they're going to follow one of the deaf people home for some nefarious purpose? Do they actually know everything that is being signed, thus removing the "private" component from a private conversation. But, as many here have said, oftentimes the motive is irrelevant; they just don't like to be stared at, period.

For some, it's merely an annoyance, a distraction. For others, it's creepy and scary. And yet for others, it doesn't bother them at all. Therefore, what should the standard be?