Why Apologize?

Renée12

Renée12

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Whenever I talk to a hearing person, like on a day to day basis, I always find myself apologizing at some point because I didn’t hear (I have a CI), or understand them. But why do I apologize? Why do any of us apologize when it’s not really our fault? Like, am I supposed to feel bad about it, cuz I don’t think I should. Thoughts?
 
A thing I have noticed is my go to phrase.
'No your alright' no matter who is in the wrong or right, no matter if I don't hear or miss understand.
'No your alright' is my go to thing.
I suppose it is me apologizing to whom ever or for what ever.
We apologize because we know they don't 'get it' I feel like I have to say sorry because you can sympathize more with them that what they can with me.
Does this make sense to you??
 
I guess I say it because of politeness, not that I'm actually apologizing. It seems rude to just say "I can't hear you!", better with "Sorry, I didn't catch what you mean". It's not hearing people's fault for our deafness so we can't be impolite to them.
 
Thank you for sharing it with us. We all have some kind of disability or problems. No one is perfect. You shouldn’t feel bad about it. For myself, I am deaf and my speech isn’t that perfect but most of the time people understand me. Be graceful with what you have and your ability to speak. It is ok to say I’m sorry because you didn’t fully understand them so they know you need them to repeat it. So that they don’t get upset or impatient with you. Hope this helps.
God’s blessings
 
It's the hearing audist society's conditioning that makes us feel that we have to apologise. IMO, thats why Sign Language is so important. Apart from language acquisition, it makes deafness no longer invisible. You can establish with 1 minute how they can communicate with you. It saves having to explain and repeat what the accomodations are. If they dont sign, they will gesture, or reach for a pen and paper, or text on their phone.
Don't apologise.
 
I have a tendency to over apologize for everything. You shouldn't have to apologize because it is often the hearing person who is making the communication more difficult. However, you shouldn't feel bad if you do, because you are trying to make sure the line of communication stays open. The main issue is that hearing people need to become more educated. Thankfully, there is a lot more good information getting into the general media, even though there is still a long way to go.
 
I'm always upfront with people regarding my hearing issues and tell them if I don't respond to something, it's not that I'm not paying attention, it's that I might not hear them or understand what they said. Since most people want to be heard, they will do what they need to do so they are heard.
 
Parjila said:
I have a tendency to over apologize for everything. You shouldn't have to apologize because it is often the hearing person who is making the communication more difficult. However, you shouldn't feel bad if you do, because you are trying to make sure the line of communication stays open. The main issue is that hearing people need to become more educated. Thankfully, there is a lot more good information getting into the general media, even though there is still a long way to go.
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Agree and good answer
 
seb said:
I'm always upfront with people regarding my hearing issues and tell them if I don't respond to something, it's not that I'm not paying attention, it's that I might not hear them or understand what they said. Since most people want to be heard, they will do what they need to do so they are heard.
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Yes, its a common courteous habit we have due to the expectations of a hearing society, but its exhausting to run through a whole list of accomodations for our own benefit, with each and every hearing person we wish to have a decent conversation with beyond a greeting, because their lightbulb goes on only for mere minutes before they forget and we end up in frustration. Sign Language plays an important role in getting fruitful engagement with not only our fellow D/dhh, but also with hearing people to communicate with us visually, even if they don't know any sign.
 
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