When Love (at times) is Not a Many Splendord Thing.....

No phone call last night, and none today!....So my guess is that they worked it out....:hmm:...(for a little while anyway :giggle: )...The perils of "young Love"....
 
Angle1989 said:
RR, I feel for you. All three kids are out of my house. When my son turned 18 he moved out, I did not want him to. So I gave him 3 months to change his mind. He could come back anytime during those 3 months. After that, one of the girls would take over his room and the invite to move back home was not an option. There have been a few close calls. Of course if he desperately needed to I would make room. But, he never took me up on the offer, and I feel he is a stronger person for it. Tough love is so very TOUGH!! Good luck!!
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My mother never turned me away from her door for any reason and I won't turn away one of my children without extreme reasons -- and those are not limited to "blood" children. If they grew up loving me and calling me Dad, they are mine. There is room for them somewhere.

I have a 7 rules:

I don't lie to you, don't lie to me.

I don't lie about you, don't lie about me.

I don't steal from you, don't steal from me.

I don't tell you how to run your life, do not tell me how to run mine.

I will listen to, and think about, your opinions concerning myself and my life. Don't tell me you and your life are none of my business.

Everyone who stays over night does their share of the chores.

Everyone who enters my property will respect each other and the law while they are there.

Follow those rules and you can come and go as you please.

But I do have a life. I have things I want to do. Places I want to be. Ways I wish to spend my time. I will not waste it constantly patching things that need fixing once and for all, running around like a yo - yo, or baby sitting adult children.
 
Berry said:
My mother never turned me away from her door for any reason and I won't turn away one of my children without extreme reasons -- and those are not limited to "blood" children. If they grew up loving me and calling me Dad, they are mine. There is room for them somewhere.

I have a 7 rules:

I don't lie to you, don't lie to me.

I don't lie about you, don't lie about me.

I don't steal from you, don't steal from me.

I don't tell you how to run your life, do not tell me how to run mine.

I will listen to, and think about, your opinions concerning myself and my life. Don't tell me you and your life are none of my business.

Everyone who stays over night does their share of the chores.

Everyone who enters my property will respect each other and the law while they are there.

Follow those rules and you can come and go as you please.

But I do have a life. I have things I want to do. Places I want to be. Ways I wish to spend my time. I will not waste it constantly patching things that need fixing once and for all, running around like a yo - yo, or baby sitting adult children.
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These are very similar to my rules. I will not tell them, but I would love for them to move home. Since they all are away at college, this house is way to quiet.
 
My daughter (18 at end of this month) is not planning on moving out. She wants to be around in case I need help due to mobility issues, Also, she has such learning issues that she doesn't feel she can take care of her own house.

Son (16, 17 in May) has plans on moving back to Missouri, but not totally decided yet. We told son he would basically have the same rules I had when I turned 18.

1. Be in school, or if finished with school, get a job.
2. Help around the house. Keep your room clean.
3. Obey the house rules. (no smoking, no drinking, no drugs)
4. Obey all laws and town rules and codes.
5. Respect your parents in all things.
6. If you want something special to eat, do it yourself.
7. Clean up after yourself.
8. Boys are not exempt from cleaning bathroom. Do your part.
9. Please keep your body clean and not smelling like the sewer.
10. Do not tell your parents how to9 run their lives.
 
Berry said:
My mother never turned me away from her door for any reason and I won't turn away one of my children without extreme reasons -- ....
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My parents told us that at 18 we either had to have jobs and pay them rent or be enrolled and attending school (and making decent grades) or we couldn't stay at home.

they also told us that once we got married, we were on our own, not to come back home unless something was severely wrong (if the other person was abusive or committed adultery).

I believed them, and it never, ever occurred to me to call my parents to help in an argument or ask them if I could come home even to spend a single night.

I found out later that they didn't *really* mean it. My youngest brother lived at home until he was in his late twenties and never paid rent or enrolled in school, didn't even have a job a lot of the time.:roll:

Our kids- we let them live at home as long as they want. They don't pay rent. They do, however, do all the chores. They can't sit around watching tv or playing video games all day. We have the same house rules pretty much as Kristina (no drinking, smoking, drugs, criminal activity no hanky-panky, no rudeness), but we never have had to enforce those rules.
 
I was raised tribal. No one is tossed out, everyone pitches in. Those who contribute to the group receive from the group.

My mother and I always had keys to each others houses and made ourselves at home in whatever house we were.

Who lived with whom was a question that seldom had a clear cut answer, and between us we never needed one. If my girlfriend, or her boyfriend, did not like the situation they didn't have to put up with it. They could always go their way and we would go ours.

I have daughters who walk in and out of my house as though they owned it and I do the same to theirs. Because there is no mine and theirs, only ours.
 
saywhatkid said:
So RR, any updates?
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Hey! Yep....they are still together....I did ask him a few days ago what the arguement was all about and he said "just something stupid".....he also (the same day) went down to the grocery store and bought her a bouquet of Flowers.....:giggle: So, at the moment, it's all lovey-dovey.....

Not betting this will be the last time he'll call home and saying "Come Get Me!"...but for the time being, I'm gonna relax, and realizing that it's best to wait a day or so, to give them time to work it all out.
 
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