When he/ she keeps you hanging on

Rio

Rio

Brady lady
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I am reading topics about break ups , how about when he / she keeps you hanging on?





What were some of your hints and experience on this topic ?





I had this happen to me before, in my past life in the early 90's before Internet . Just bec this is old stuff , this could be happening to someone this moment or someone learning about relationshipsI. Just thought I would put it out here.

I gave the guy the boot, he wasn't budging to make me his gf, so, I started seeing other guys and this guy got jealous bec I was talking to other guys. I confronted him that I can date and see anyone I please bec I am NOT your girl. He stayed quiet and let me be. He would pop in/ out of my life as years went by. The last time he contacted me was in 2006 around there and wanted to do dinner with me. I agreed, he never called so , I did my own thing. Later that evening while I was on my pc he instant message me , where are you ? I said, home. He said, you didn't call me. I said , you said you call . He started with this thing about me living in the old days and how I was not modern. Well too bad , I am a lady not going to call guys. He got mad , jerk lol now, he's married thanks God. I can move on . He did invite me to his wedding and I said , I have plans what a moron lol
 
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My EX broke up with me when I was in the hospital just waking up from major surgery. We had been been married 7 years and were doing very well. Owned our own home, cars healthy and a beautiful son. He thought the grass was greener and left. It hurt like heck but it didn't take me long to find my new hubby and that is when my life really began. Found out what true love really is. First time I could actually be my real self in a very long time.

Life is too short to stay in an unhappy relationship. When you get past the hurt you may just find a beautiful new beginning. 25 years later and still amazed every single day!!
 
Rio said:
Wirelessly posted

I am reading topics about break ups , how about when he / she keeps you hanging on?





What were some of your hints and experience on this topic ?





I had this happen to me before, in my past life in the early 90's before Internet . Just bec this is old stuff , this could be happening to someone this moment or someone learning about relationshipsI. Just thought I would put it out here.

I gave the guy the boot, he wasn't budging to make me his gf, so, I started seeing other guys and this guy got jealous bec I was talking to other guys. I confronted him that I can date and see anyone I please bec I am NOT your girl. He stayed quiet and let me be. He would pop in/ out of my life as years went by. The last time he contacted me was in 2006 around there and wanted to do dinner with me. I agreed, he never called so , I did my own thing. Later that evening while I was on my pc he instant message me , where are you ? I said, home. He said, you didn't call me. I said , you said you call . He started with this thing about me living in the old days and how I was not modern. Well too bad , I am a lady not going to call guys. He got mad , jerk lol now, he's married thanks God. I can move on . He did invite me to his wedding and I said , I have plans what a moron lol
Click to expand...

amen to that.. I had a guy expecting me to be online on one weekend but I wasn't in mood to leave the house earlier he expected me to leave earlier like in the morning? I was what the hell then sunday came i wasn't feeling good so I didn't tell him but he knew I'm smart we always communicate thru computer he's hearing tho.. i knew him like almost 8 years.. my mom realized i'm like having fun I told her i'm not looking to settle down but sometimes i can be clingy when I want some1 to cuddle but good for you that the guy who got married moved on.. LOL :)
 
Angel1989 said:
My EX broke up with me when I was in the hospital just waking up from major surgery. We had been been married 7 years and were doing very well. Owned our own home, cars healthy and a beautiful son. He thought the grass was greener and left. It hurt like heck but it didn't take me long to find my new hubby and that is when my life really began. Found out what true love really is. First time I could actually be my real self in a very long time.

Life is too short to stay in an unhappy relationship. When you get past the hurt you may just find a beautiful new beginning. 25 years later and still amazed every single day!!
Click to expand...


I'm sorry you had to go through that and I'm glad things worked out for you.
 
Wirelessly posted

crazyerica32 said:
Rio said:
Wirelessly posted

I am reading topics about break ups , how about when he / she keeps you hanging on?





What were some of your hints and experience on this topic ?





I had this happen to me before, in my past life in the early 90's before Internet . Just bec this is old stuff , this could be happening to someone this moment or someone learning about relationshipsI. Just thought I would put it out here.

I gave the guy the boot, he wasn't budging to make me his gf, so, I started seeing other guys and this guy got jealous bec I was talking to other guys. I confronted him that I can date and see anyone I please bec I am NOT your girl. He stayed quiet and let me be. He would pop in/ out of my life as years went by. The last time he contacted me was in 2006 around there and wanted to do dinner with me. I agreed, he never called so , I did my own thing. Later that evening while I was on my pc he instant message me , where are you ? I said, home. He said, you didn't call me. I said , you said you call . He started with this thing about me living in the old days and how I was not modern. Well too bad , I am a lady not going to call guys. He got mad , jerk lol now, he's married thanks God. I can move on . He did invite me to his wedding and I said , I have plans what a moron lol
Click to expand...

amen to that.. I had a guy expecting me to be online on one weekend but I wasn't in mood to leave the house earlier he expected me to leave earlier like in the morning? I was what the hell then sunday came i wasn't feeling good so I didn't tell him but he knew I'm smart we always communicate thru computer he's hearing tho.. i knew him like almost 8 years.. my mom realized i'm like having fun I told her i'm not looking to settle down but sometimes i can be clingy when I want some1 to cuddle but good for you that the guy who got married moved on.. LOL :)
Click to expand...

These kind of guys, keep you hanging on, sometimes if it is bf/gf during the break up they want to be just friend's it can't he/ she will continue breaking your heart forget that. Good thing you moved on too.
In my case, this guy just wanted to keep me around, heck no , he wasn't going to take me to the next level move on is what I did.
 
Wirelessly posted

Angel1989 said:
My EX broke up with me when I was in the hospital just waking up from major surgery. We had been been married 7 years and were doing very well. Owned our own home, cars healthy and a beautiful son. He thought the grass was greener and left. It hurt like heck but it didn't take me long to find my new hubby and that is when my life really began. Found out what true love really is. First time I could actually be my real self in a very long time.

Life is too short to stay in an unhappy relationship. When you get past the hurt you may just find a beautiful new beginning. 25 years later and still amazed every single day!!
Click to expand...

Angel, that's terrible men sure know how to pick wrong timing to break up. Best you got to move on meet someone else. There was a blessing at the end of all heartache.
 
Its happen to me as well.. Angel1989 Sorry.. its terrible! :(
 
Sometimes one person has a different idea of what is happening than the other. That is the real sad hoping the other will change or something when really they are the same as they have always been. Believe it or not astrology helped me in a big way. I do not get involved with incompatible signs,, now, I did and in self reflection that sort of thinking went from the bottom of the list to the top... over a long period of time.
Compatibility is everything.
 
Angel1989 said:
My EX broke up with me when I was in the hospital just waking up from major surgery. We had been been married 7 years and were doing very well. Owned our own home, cars healthy and a beautiful son. He thought the grass was greener and left. It hurt like heck but it didn't take me long to find my new hubby and that is when my life really began. Found out what true love really is. First time I could actually be my real self in a very long time.

Life is too short to stay in an unhappy relationship. When you get past the hurt you may just find a beautiful new beginning. 25 years later and still amazed every single day!!
Click to expand...

You found the silver lining, I am glad it worked out for you.
 
What timing to find this post ... I am living this at the moment
pain I can't even explain ... It was my last hope for love .. Dreams shattered we were
Hearie and deaf much sadness
 
Missymoti said:
What timing to find this post ... I am living this at the moment
pain I can't even explain ... It was my last hope for love .. Dreams shattered we were
Hearie and deaf much sadness
Click to expand...


sweetie i know how you feel,but you must compartmentalise your life it imperitive,the love affair is a small part of your life grieve for it and move on.fill your life as far as you can with what you would have done if not met him....go for something so removed from your ordinary life like sky dive something that got a little fear factor a realistic goal.
believe me the pain do go...somethings are just not meant to be
 
caz12 said:
sweetie i know how you feel,but you must compartmentalise your life it imperitive,the love affair is a small part of your life grieve for it and move on.fill your life as far as you can with what you would have done if not met him....go for something so removed from your ordinary life like sky dive something that got a little fear factor a realistic goal.
believe me the pain do go...somethings are just not meant to be
Click to expand...


Thank you kindly for your words .. And your time ..
I am nearly 50 .. This is everything to me .. Ive been around the block a few times ..
I understand the live a little fear type thing, I do it a lot,
Motorcycles, jetskis, anything with speed ..
Thank you again for your kindness . :)
 
miissy i been around the block more times than i admit...i met a man 4yrs ago loved him with every fiber of my body,he was married,but he must have been an arseole to been messing around behind his wife back with me...how i got through the weeks after i dont know, but i put things into compartments had to...i will never fall in love again,got other plans...you do not say if you ended it or him...my therapy was to travel,put back pack on and off i went all over world,so intent on finding confidence that the pain faded
 
goodonya said:
Believe it or not astrology helped me in a big way. I do not get involved with incompatible signs,, now, I did and in self reflection that sort of thinking went from the bottom of the list to the top... over a long period of time.
Compatibility is everything.
Click to expand...


Be careful with that, people can't be contained and compartmentalized so easily. Everyone's different. I'm a strong believer in Chinese Zodiac but even they warn that people can't be defined so rigidly. Zodiacs are used as a way to understand people, not as an excuse to exclude them from your life.

Laura
 
goodonya said:
Sometimes one person has a different idea of what is happening than the other. That is the real sad hoping the other will change or something when really they are the same as they have always been..
Compatibility is everything.
Click to expand...
i like this bit, not all of it...

what i see is...

some people hold a belief compatiablity is there,,,but expect the dynamics in communication to be flawless, dream-like, however the 'spark' isnt there...and OR...
not the just socially contrived idea of 'spark' but the social conditioning of that person have stunted their abiliity to take communication to a romance level, or some other flirty level, put simply, they have no idea of flirting, be it real, fun, joking about, it doing it lightly (skillfully to suss them out), or talking abotu flirts on movies is quite different from films, or describing other people as flirts but still dont know what it is. Talking and doing are quite different.

that's how i see it, and to me, in some hanging on situation, its from the damaged mating pattern not wired in the head. beat me how he got laid and married, probably a very platonic (boring) marriage with sex only for baby making and do once or twice fucks just to love, but its not sports-fucking...

whatever.. OR she's a deranged flirt who felt sorry for him...so marry him for 'settlling down' purposes?

who knows
hope i dont sound like an idiot here, but thats what i 'saw' i had a clearer picture in the head but since i gone from post-REM, semi lucid, the semi beta, then half a wake, now try recalling it with coffee, it varnished grrr i hate that when this happens !!!

...and worse when i actually have it ;here; (head) and decide write, i coundlt i had to think about how to write , other parts of brain takes over, and push the clear thought away..pisses me off lol....

oh well
 
Lau2046 said:
Be careful with that, people can't be contained and compartmentalized so easily. Everyone's different. I'm a strong believer in Chinese Zodiac but even they warn that people can't be defined so rigidly. Zodiacs are used as a way to understand people, not as an excuse to exclude them from your life.

Laura
Click to expand...

I agree, I did not mean to sound so rigid. It was quite an eye opener for me though to see that I had been locked into such a pattern that only made sense by way of the sun signs. It did not change after I took notice and when it continued on I got to see what was going on. Still people do not fit those things exactly and predictably. I did not just jump into that kind of thinking either just filed it into the active file. It gave me a pattern to break that was eluding me. When I did break it good things started happening. Beat the heck out of counselling and going yep I did it again. I have gone from being roadkill on the path of life to having some genuine happiness because I was willing to look at something that seemed a bit woo woo to me.
 
Grummer said:
i like this bit, not all of it...

what i see is...

some people hold a belief compatiablity is there,,,but expect the dynamics in communication to be flawless, dream-like, however the 'spark' isnt there...and OR...
not the just socially contrived idea of 'spark' but the social conditioning of that person have stunted their abiliity to take communication to a romance level, or some other flirty level, put simply, they have no idea of flirting, be it real, fun, joking about, it doing it lightly (skillfully to suss them out), or talking abotu flirts on movies is quite different from films, or describing other people as flirts but still dont know what it is. Talking and doing are quite different.

that's how i see it, and to me, in some hanging on situation, its from the damaged mating pattern not wired in the head. beat me how he got laid and married, probably a very platonic (boring) marriage with sex only for baby making and do once or twice fucks just to love, but its not sports-fucking...

whatever.. OR she's a deranged flirt who felt sorry for him...so marry him for 'settlling down' purposes?

who knows
hope i dont sound like an idiot here, but thats what i 'saw' i had a clearer picture in the head but since i gone from post-REM, semi lucid, the semi beta, then half a wake, now try recalling it with coffee, it varnished grrr i hate that when this happens !!!

...and worse when i actually have it ;here; (head) and decide write, i coundlt i had to think about how to write , other parts of brain takes over, and push the clear thought away..pisses me off lol....

oh well
Click to expand...

I do not think I was the only one out there living out the same patterns of noncompatility over and over. I did not ever take that extra step and get it put into a marriage whoa I had enough awareness to save myself from that..... I was not such a keeper either.... there is an old saying or something I just remember part of about, "Love not being enough" the feelings were real but feelings don't solve shit. The wrong person is just the wrong person. People are different with other people.
 
caz12 said:
or you could sting him for good dinner every so often
Click to expand...
Or be sorta happy to get stung for good dinner and put out too even knowing it is never gonna work, joys of single life whoa beats lady thumb and her four sinning daughters
 
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