Whats up with these hearing people?

SilentSigns said:
There is a very very small group of hearies that want to marry a deaf person just to practice... but we shouldn't exploit them. They are the idiots, and why should we waste our time and breath on the "fakes"?
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What do you mean by "exploit"?


I think most of us would rather exterminate the ones would are enamored of the exotic aspect of deafness.
 
I see your point, but we can't pick and choose. Are there idiots, yes. Do I wish there wasn't idiots, yes. However, look at the context of what you are saying and think about the broad implications of it. Culture is not something that has a door you can open or close, it doesn't work that way. Look at what happens when people try to make it work that way.

If you are frustrated with someone fine, but your problem is only with that person.
 
VacationGuy234 said:
I see your point, but we can't pick and choose. Are there idiots, yes. Do I wish there wasn't idiots, yes. However, look at the context of what you are saying and think about the broad implications of it. Culture is not something that has a door you can open or close, it doesn't work that way. Look at what happens when people try to make it work that way.

If you are frustrated with someone fine, but your problem is only with that person.
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Not every hearing person, but it seems like there is a constant procession of hearing who are all excited about ASL and potential interaction or dating with deaf people.

They didn't just fall into it because of family connections or someone deaf they met at school, but just seek it out because it will fill some need in them.

I really think a lot of them are mentally ill and don't fit into the broader society, so they think a little subculture is where they will find a place.

Given enough time they will fall out of love with it and be disillusioned when they find out whatever problems they have just followed them to their new place.
 
Yes, being angry with the fakes is my problem. Being angry toward those who are selfish and cruel to others in any culture is my problem. Dealing with these issues is another matter. These issues should not have been in control of me. Lesson learned. Its time for me to move on.
 
The person who said they could not speak was found out to be a fraud???? I just don't understand people coming to this site and faking it.
 
Bottesini said:
Not every hearing person, but it seems like there is a constant procession of hearing who are all excited about ASL and potential interaction or dating with deaf people.

They didn't just fall into it because of family connections or someone deaf they met at school, but just seek it out because it will fill some need in them.

I really think a lot of them are mentally ill and don't fit into the broader society, so they think a little subculture is where they will find a place.

Given enough time they will fall out of love with it and be disillusioned when they find out whatever problems they have just followed them to their new place.
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Do you think I have not noticed this? Do you think I have not noticed that deaf women prefer hearing men, as well. And, that it is them who want to be in the hearing culture?

Are the people on both sides mentally ill? I'm not sure.

We cannot control who gets in and who gets out. Just like at at times in history when people were against interracial relationships.

Is it harder for us? Yes! Do I wish it wasn't this way? Yes!

But the alternative is worse because, like it or not, there's not that many of us. And, if you are culturally deaf there is even less. So, you've got to take the good with the bad just like the rest of the civilized world.

I'm not advocating bad relationships. I'm advocating the possibility for some relationships because the numbers are down as it is..

We don't need a world with walls, we've had that.
 
Angel1989 said:
The person who said they could not speak was found out to be a fraud???? I just don't understand people coming to this site and faking it.
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It's the interwebs! Everybody can lie their asses off with no penalty.

As Bottesini said... a lot of them are mentally ill. Honestly, they need treatment that they won't get from Deaf culture. Another thing that I was thinking about... trauma. I met a kid a few years ago... maybe 8 or 9. He did not say one word for 6 years. Turned out he was sexually molested in a bad way. Maybe that "mute" is enduring trauma. Whatever. Her treatment does not lay here. It lies elsewhere.
 
NitroHonda said:
It's the interwebs! Everybody can lie their asses off with no penalty.

As Bottesini said... a lot of them are mentally ill. Honestly, they need treatment that they won't get from Deaf culture. Another thing that I was thinking about... trauma. I met a kid a few years ago... maybe 8 or 9. He did not say one word for 6 years. Turned out he was sexually molested in a bad way. Maybe that "mute" is enduring trauma. Whatever. Her treatment does not lay here. It lies elsewhere.
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That is a possibility. People who feel they are in a minority tend to identify with people of a minority.
 
deafgam said:
Yes, being angry with the fakes is my problem. Being angry toward those who are selfish and cruel to others in any culture is my problem. Dealing with these issues is another matter. These issues should not have been in control of me. Lesson learned. Its time for me to move on.
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I'm not against being angry about it. But, it's not a cultural issue. People think the grass is greener on the other side, because they think they don't have to mow the law. Is it stupid? Yes, but it is what it is.
 
I myself am a "Hearie" and have a deaf Fiance. I'm also a Counselor who is learning ASL not only to help me communicate with my future spouse but also to be able to communicate with clients who need help. Whether or not people with a fetish for deaf women or men are "mentally ill" or not is not really the issue. There is a completely different site for fetishes out there. I think people should date whoever they want to. I fell in love with my Fiance 15 yrs ago and our lives have just now gotten to the point where we can be together. She was losing her hearing then and it didn't matter to me. She is now profoundly deaf. I don't love her any less then I did then. I don't have a "fetish" for her. I love her, no matter what. I'm not 100% "normal" but as she just told me "If you always strive for normal you'll never know just how amazing you really are". I don't love her because she's deaf. I love her because she is who she is.
just a thought from a hearie... :)
 
I can still hear so I am a hearie. I am only severely hard of hearing I know it is not the same as being deaf. My life as an hoh has been ok. I wish I had been for eager to learn lipreading and signing because of the kinds of fluctuations and so forth times when I am actually deaf. I think like a hearie because I have had no exposure to deaf culture. I am trying to learn more. Soon I will have a wife that will be dealing with me going deaf, we may have children who I will not be able to hear and will grow up with me their Dad who cannot hear so good. I was on this site a long time ago and left because of talk about audism.
 
Ross said:
I myself am a "Hearie" and have a deaf Fiance. I'm also a Counselor who is learning ASL not only to help me communicate with my future spouse but also to be able to communicate with clients who need help. Whether or not people with a fetish for deaf women or men are "mentally ill" or not is not really the issue. There is a completely different site for fetishes out there. I think people should date whoever they want to. I fell in love with my Fiance 15 yrs ago and our lives have just now gotten to the point where we can be together. She was losing her hearing then and it didn't matter to me. She is now profoundly deaf. I don't love her any less then I did then. I don't have a "fetish" for her. I love her, no matter what. I'm not 100% "normal" but as she just told me "If you always strive for normal you'll never know just how amazing you really are". I don't love her because she's deaf. I love her because she is who she is.
just a thought from a hearie... :)
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Nice you want to join in, but staying faithful to a late deafened SO is nothing like going out and pursuing someone or a culture just because of deafness.

What you describe is just a good moral compass..

Wrong discussion for you. Check out the late deafened thread.
 
Bottesini said:
Nice you want to join in, but staying faithful to a late deafened SO is nothing like going out and pursuing someone or a culture just because of deafness. What you describe is just a good moral compass.. Wrong discussion for you. Check out the late deafened thread.
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Thank you, Bottesini. I wish i knew how to like a post. I cant find how people do that. But anyways, nicely said.
 
Ross said:
I myself am a "Hearie" and have a deaf Fiance. I'm also a Counselor who is learning ASL not only to help me communicate with my future spouse but also to be able to communicate with clients who need help. Whether or not people with a fetish for deaf women or men are "mentally ill" or not is not really the issue. There is a completely different site for fetishes out there. I think people should date whoever they want to. I fell in love with my Fiance 15 yrs ago and our lives have just now gotten to the point where we can be together. She was losing her hearing then and it didn't matter to me. She is now profoundly deaf. I don't love her any less then I did then. I don't have a "fetish" for her. I love her, no matter what. I'm not 100% "normal" but as she just told me "If you always strive for normal you'll never know just how amazing you really are". I don't love her because she's deaf. I love her because she is who she is.
just a thought from a hearie... :)
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True love knows no boundaries. I'm a BIG believer in true love. I'm still with my wife from when we started dating at 14 years old. Now almost 23 years later, we are just as happy as we were then.

That being said, I don't think very many of us would have a big problem with you. Some might but not me at least. It is those who are actively seeking out JUST that disability for deviant or selfish purposes that churn my stomach.
 
So...yes, I've been gone a while. I get back and read this...(sigh)

As previously mentioned, I am not deaf. I am struggling to learn ASL, with/for my son. Yes, I am taking a class at the local community college...and realizing...GOD I suck. But, for the sake of my son, and wanting him to be surrounded with deaf culture...I attend deaf gatherings. At these gatherings, I am very VERY shy with my ASL. And usually only sign to other hearing people...

Why? I've been "chewed" out by several people in the deaf community for using the wrong signs. I've been told that I am not committed enough and not trying hard enough. Now, this has happened 2x by 2 different people...So, once bitten twice shy. And, when it happened...I cried for the entire weekend, knowing I was going to see these people again the following weekend. The result? I take Xanex before I go to deaf meet/greets, everyone is VERY sweet and loving to my son...but I has been made clear that I do not "belong"

So...perhaps, you shouldn't be so quick to judge...
 
ContessaC said:
So...yes, I've been gone a while. I get back and read this...(sigh)

As previously mentioned, I am not deaf. I am struggling to learn ASL, with/for my son. Yes, I am taking a class at the local community college...and realizing...GOD I suck. But, for the sake of my son, and wanting him to be surrounded with deaf culture...I attend deaf gatherings. At these gatherings, I am very VERY shy with my ASL. And usually only sign to other hearing people...

Why? I've been "chewed" out by several people in the deaf community for using the wrong signs. I've been told that I am not committed enough and not trying hard enough. Now, this has happened 2x by 2 different people...So, once bitten twice shy. And, when it happened...I cried for the entire weekend, knowing I was going to see these people again the following weekend. The result? I take Xanex before I go to deaf meet/greets, everyone is VERY sweet and loving to my son...but I has been made clear that I do not "belong"

So...perhaps, you shouldn't be so quick to judge...
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Judge what? Who judges? Did you not notice this thread was about people who just have some strange attraction to deaf people or ASL ?

Or did you just need a place to whine "deaf people are mean" ?

It's quite true that it is your son's community and won't be yours when he is older.

Just try to suck up the angst and learn when someone corrects your signing. It will help your son, and this whole thing is for him , not you.
 
Contessa....im not judging you....you are the one volunteering to place yourself in that category. I personally do not include people like you in the group i was even talking about. So why should you? For those two Deaf that treated you like they did, i am disappointed and angry as well. They had no right.. if anything they should be there for you and your son helping you both along each step you both have ahead of you. They were self centered, narrow minded and wrong. So please, dont jump to conclusions and misjudge my quote post. You do not fit into the group i was referring. So dont put yourself in to that group. Okay?
 
What I meant by "exploit" is just we shouldn't waste frustration on these people.

What I mean is there is too much negative in the world, why should we stop our lives to waste time thinking about the idiots who are acting like they never received any real world knowledge?
 
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