What's going on with my fiance?

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Weshoulddo

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Got engaged 6 months ago. Fiance promised to marry me in December. Last May, he went home to his family for a quick Spring vacation. We communicated for less than a week and after that, I didn't hear any more from him. I reached to him on Facebook, sent messages but none of them were read. Tried calling him on Skype and on the phone but he never answers any of my calls. I also reached out to few of our close friends but no one has any idea of what's going on with him. Shall I give up or wait patiently?
 
Um, have you met his family before, right? If so, you didn't say you try to contact his family. Did you contact his family? If they are not concerned, they probably know where he is.
 
Hi all. Just this morning, he had the courage to finally message me. He said that he's sorry for having done this to me. He was breaking up with me because he and ex-girlfriend saw each other again and was able to patch things up between the two of them. I never knew that he still loves his ex. I hesitated to break up with him. I thought I can but it was so hard. I just can't let him go. My heart is breaking into pieces. I told him to come back. I know I'm losing my pride already. Right now, all I want is for him to come back.
 
Weshoulddo said:
Hi all. Just this morning, he had the courage to finally message me. He said that he's sorry for having done this to me. He was breaking up with me because he and his ex-girlfriend saw each other again and was able to patch things up between the two of them. I never knew that he still loves his ex. I hesitated to break up with him. I thought I can but it was so hard. I just can't let him go. My heart is breaking into pieces. I told him to come back. I know I'm losing my pride already. Right now, all I want is for him to come back.
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I reached out to her sister but she did not reply. I assume she didn't have the courage to tell me too.
 
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I’m sorry to hear that. You will feel upset for a while but it is the only way for you to move on. I know that feeling. Hang on.
 
Weshoulddo said:
Hi all. Just this morning, he had the courage to finally message me. He said that he's sorry for having done this to me. He was breaking up with me because he and ex-girlfriend saw each other again and was able to patch things up between the two of them. I never knew that he still loves his ex. I hesitated to break up with him. I thought I can but it was so hard. I just can't let him go. My heart is breaking into pieces. I told him to come back. I know I'm losing my pride already. Right now, all I want is for him to come back.
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Well, girl, once you catch your breath you will realize you have lost your illusion of the guy he is. The reality- a guy who would treat anyone this way, is nobody worth having. Meanwhile, I get it. The hurt feels so great you would do anything to make it stop. Crying and screaming may help- works for me.
 
Barbaro said:
I’m sorry to hear that. You will feel upset for a while but it is the only way for you to move on. I know that feeling. Hang on.
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You've been in the same situation as mine? How were you able to cope up? It seems like only miracle can make him come back to me. I think I would be needing some professional help. The pain is killing me. Thanks btw for leaving a comment. I also hope that this shall too pass.
 
Tetracyclone said:
Well, girl, once you catch your breath you will realize you have lost your illusion of the guy he is. The reality- a guy who would treat anyone this way, is nobody worth having. Meanwhile, I get it. The hurt feels so great you would do anything to make it stop. Crying and screaming may help- works for me.
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You know I kicked my table. Vase got broken into pieces, ashtray fell off with all my cigarettes buds...there's like a mixed feeling of hatred, pain, and love. I hope to get over him soooo sooooon!
 
Weshoulddo said:
You've been in the same situation as mine? How were you able to cope up? It seems like only miracle can make him come back to me. I think I would be needing some professional help. The pain is killing me. Thanks btw for leaving a comment. I also hope that this shall too pass.
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A mutual friend told me my ex-boyfriend had been talking to some girl online and planned to meet her. It is not only that and he lied to me about his previous relationships and things he withheld from me like stealing money. I had to ditch him in a second and he wasn't worth it. He was pissed off and wanted money from me. Nope. I talked to his ex girlfriend and she went through the same thing. We both felt better by talking about it. I think you need to talk to someone in person you feel comfortable with. Believe me. You are not alone.

My friend and her ex boyfriend decided to play a April joke by breaking up online. They announced it in the small group online. The group acutally believed it. A young woman in the group told my friend "I am so glad you dumped that cheater! He made out with "------" in front of me. I couldn't say anything." My friend became confused and asked her further about cheating part. She wanted to be sure. Well, it turned out to be true. She confronted her ex-boyfriend and he admitted it. That's the end of their relationship. It happens.

Focus on yourself and stay busy.
 
And we can be sure that, while the ex-girlfriend is presently feeling major ego thrills from winning him back, she will eventually remember why she broke up with him and ... Bonding with someone is like getting velcroed together. It hurts mightily when you yank it part.
 
Tetracyclone said:
And we can be sure that, while the ex-girlfriend is presently feeling major ego thrills from winning him back, she will eventually remember why she broke up with him and ... Bonding with someone is like getting velcroed together. It hurts mightily when you yank it part.
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It hurts while it burns. It will go away eventually. We all take risks in purusing a relationship. You can be scared and something will always go wrong. I read the quote and it kinda makes sense. "Chemistry was a terrible thing, sometimes it simply sparked between the wrong people."
 
Weshoulddo said:
Hi all. Just this morning, he had the courage to finally message me. He said that he's sorry for having done this to me. He was breaking up with me because he and ex-girlfriend saw each other again and was able to patch things up between the two of them. I never knew that he still loves his ex. I hesitated to break up with him. I thought I can but it was so hard. I just can't let him go. My heart is breaking into pieces. I told him to come back. I know I'm losing my pride already. Right now, all I want is for him to come back.
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Sorry to hear about that. Just move on. Not worth to have second chance. Or second time around. Plenty of other fishes in the sea. It will take a while for you to heal. So, just enjoy your life. Work, go on vacation. It is summer right now so grab that right now. Hey, how about this, grab your best friend and go on a vacation in lieu of a honeymoon. Why not? If he wants you back again, just tell him to bug off.
 
Barbaro said:
A mutual friend told me my ex-boyfriend had been talking to some girl online and planned to meet her. It is not only that and he lied to me about his previous relationships and things he withheld from me like stealing money. I had to ditch him in a second and he wasn't worth it. He was pissed off and wanted money from me. Nope. I talked to his ex girlfriend and she went through the same thing. We both felt better by talking about it. I think you need to talk to someone in person you feel comfortable with. Believe me. You are not alone.

My friend and her ex boyfriend decided to play a April joke by breaking up online. They announced it in the small group online. The group acutally believed it. A young woman in the group told my friend "I am so glad you dumped that cheater! He made out with "------" in front of me. I couldn't say anything." My friend became confused and asked her further about cheating part. She wanted to be sure. Well, it turned out to be true. She confronted her ex-boyfriend and he admitted it. That's the end of their relationship. It happens.

Focus on yourself and stay busy.
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Sorry to hear about yours but I am glad you moved on. Hey, plenty of fishes in sea.. You never know!
 
Weshoulddo said:
You know I kicked my table. Vase got broken into pieces, ashtray fell off with all my cigarettes buds...there's like a mixed feeling of hatred, pain, and love. I hope to get over him soooo sooooon!
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Hey, I had ex-girlfriends cheated on me. Not just men. Women too. No offense but true. I was furious when I found out my ex whom I was engaged had pictures of her ex-boyfriend on all 4 walls in her bedroom and so.. I dumped her on Christmas as my revenge for what she did on my birthday. After that, I felt good and moved on. Was already dating the next one by Spring. This was back in 1993-94! haha. long ago!
 
It would be nice to be able to deliver relationship bad news with an effective painkiller.

Most people actually do not want to cause pain to someone who does not deserve it.

Often people are not so sure what's happening is what's happening until its been happening for a while. So they stall. They obfuscate, they go silent.

It is actually not always another person causing change. The old its not you its me is actually often true. We do change and in the process do not know what is happening in clear and concise terms. Life goes on and in the process we learn and learn and learn and learn.
Learning by pain hurts but whaddaya do? Get ready for the next adventure by learning from the last one.
 
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