What would you change about your past experience as a deaf student?

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HappinessCounts

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Would you change anything to make your experience as a student better?

For example, I was mainstreamed most of my life. Some of my life I attended a hearing impaired resource room for some of my classes until fully mainstreamed. I did somewhat okay making and playing with friends until elementary grade. After that it was extremely difficult making friends and it is to this day because I was the only one with a deafness.

At one point, I wanted to attend a deaf school, but I never got the support to investigate whether it'd be appropriate. I was struggling socially in high school. I thought going to a deaf school would help make up for that. The only thing that worried me was the education of a deaf school. I worried that it would not help me. I missed being involved in activities and events like prom.

I wonder why the state deaf schools don't mix deaf school with hearing population just like NTID/RIT instead of keep deaf together. This would be cool in the future. It's realistic and helps both world learn from one another plus the hearing go into the world prepared to hire deaf people if they become hiring managers.
 
HappinessCounts said:
Would you change anything to make your experience as a student better?

For example, I was mainstreamed most of my life. Some of my life I attended a hearing impaired resource room for some of my classes until fully mainstreamed. I did somewhat okay making and playing with friends until elementary grade. After that it was extremely difficult making friends and it is to this day because I was the only one with a deafness.

At one point, I wanted to attend a deaf school, but I never got the support to investigate whether it'd be appropriate. I was struggling socially in high school. I thought going to a deaf school would help make up for that. The only thing that worried me was the education of a deaf school. I worried that it would not help me. I missed being involved in activities and events like prom.

I wonder why the state deaf schools don't mix deaf school with hearing population just like NTID/RIT instead of keep deaf together. This would be cool in the future. It's realistic and helps both world learn from one another plus the hearing go into the world prepared to hire deaf people if they become hiring managers.
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I wouldnt change anything. When i.got lucky and went Deaf, off to Deaf school i went....
Yeah suckS to main stream....the way they see it...anything is better then bieng Deaf..so mainstream it is, better in their eyes your trapped between two worlds belonging and fitting in to neither rather then a coffident Deaf person in ours...
Thats by design of course..
 
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I think that when they try to mainstream us is that they want us to be able to live among the hearing. I think they have good intentions, but they fail to understand the social part of it and how difficult it is in a hearing school and how important it is that we develop social skills.
 
I wish I could cooperate with my mom about reading books more. I loved my childhood, family and went to Deaf school all my life. I wish I could go back and start all over again just because 1970s was the most coolest ones to have a large number of Deaf people. 2015 Deaf people are getting smaller now. Anyway I love my family now. We have beatitiful kids who are teens and fur kids.
 
HappinessCounts said:
I think that when they try to mainstream us is that they want us to be able to live among the hearing. I think they have good intentions, but they fail to understand the social part of it and how difficult it is in a hearing school and how important it is that we develop social skills.
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I did not have ASL when I was in mainstream elementary and high school back in the 1950 and 1960. Those mainstream schools would not allow us, deaf and hard of hearing, to learn how to sign ASL and be able to have ASL interpreters.

So I am curious. Do you have ASL interpreters in class or do you have to lipread the hearing teachers and hearing students in class?

Yes, it is hard to be social with hearing students if there were no deaf and hard of hearing students to communicate. That is isolation on your part. Been there and done that. :(
 
I would have loved a dhh program for elementary. I was treated like I was making up being HOH. My parents were told that I wasn't "really" deaf in an IEP meeting?!?! That would have helped big time with getting good grades so I wouldn't have had to work so hard....It also would have helped socially...I went to a HORRIBLE school...the area was very narcisstic. If a town could be said to have narcisstic personality disorder, it would be my town.
I would have really appreciated a heads up that middle and high school are really really tough socially.
 
Part of my life, I didn't have an interpreter. One day, I learned of oral interpreters from a student who used one, I tried an oral interpreter, and I really liked it. So, they put me with one for Junior High School. That didn't work so well because the terp had zero experience being an oral interpreter, and the first one didn't feel comfortable with it. It was harder to read their lips. I noticed that if the terp signed, it helped them slow down, so I could read lips better. So, I let the terp sign from then on the sake of being able to read lips. I know many signs, but I am not proficient at signing. In college, I used CART. I tried in high school at one point, but they wouldn't allow me one.
 
I am sorry that happened to you. I thought I wouldn't have problems making new friends, but that wasn't the case for me. Kids are just so different when they grow older. I hope these things don't happen today.
 
HappinessCounts said:
I am sorry that happened to you. I thought I wouldn't have problems making new friends, but that wasn't the case for me. Kids are just so different when they grow older. I hope these things don't happen today.
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I know someone who is a parent advocate. She's VERY well meaning, but she is very black and white in terms of her fixtation on inclusion. Her daughter died before things traditionally get rough, so she really does have almost a " Gosharootie! Let's go down to the Malt Shoppe with our Special Friend before the Big Game!" mentality about the social aspect of mainstreaming. Meanwhile, most of the other teens with special needs/dhh teens I know/interact with on FB are still struggling BIG TIME. The organization that I am a member of, says that they get requests for advice on how to handle struggling high schoolers....these are kids who are pretty smart and did well early on. Even the high functioning kids will struggle big time with social stuff.
The trouble is that parents are often fooled by early on performance, and don't realize that things change socially when the kid is older, or just concentrate exclusively on how well their kid speaks or some other "one piece of the puzzle aspect" (ie they don't look at the larger picture, but just assume that if a kid speaks well or gets realtively good grades that's an Instant Ticket To Success)... this is true even for say kids who speak well or kids who get good grades or kids who are smart.
One of my best online buddies is a HOH girl who is mainstreamed and takes AP classes.....but physically going to school is just so pointless b/c nobody really interacts with her there! Sidney said that someone at the Hands and Voices get together told her mom that the social struggles are STILL very legit and very real, and very common. Unfortunatly middle and high school are not High School Musical or Grease. Most hearing or non special needs teens really aren't all that interested in developing sophiscated realtionships with the dhh teens or the other special needs kids. And it's TOUGH.....and it's not just the typical "tough time in high school" ... It's also really sad and scary since one of the really important pieces of the puzzle for ALL OVER life success is GOOD SOCIAL SKILLS. Unfortunatly not a lot of mainstreamed kids have a great social life..... simply putting dhh or otherwise disabled kids in the same classroom with hearing or non disabled kids, isn't going to start some glorious utopia where the hearing or otherwise disabled kids will be best friends forever with them. Remember how bad high school is for typical kids? It's even WORSE for a mainstreamed dhh/other special needs kid.
I guess this was a very long post to say ....no things really haven't changed all that much. I have a feeling that when I am old enough to be a grandmother, things will still be the same for mainstreamed dhh kids. I have dhh friends(including POSTLINGAL, who traditionally did well orally/in the mainstream) who are old enough to be my parents, and they went through the exact same things.
 
I echo everything DeafDyke said.

Elementary school was.. okay but I was picked on.. A LOT. By 7th grade (should have been 6th but guess I was not selected who knows) I went to a private school. Much smaller school so socialization was sort of better but still difficult. High School same thing very small private school (most classes aka Sr, Jr etc were under 100 back then). I got along well with everyone for the most part and was 'friends' with many. Participated in some after school clubs/activities. But outside of school? Fat chance. I was never part of anything outside of school. I don't know if it had to do with where I lived, the fact I didn't drive(til senior year then my sibling took the car more than me) or my deafness. They will claim my deafness & vision impairment didn't matter but I still to this day wonder. Had no social life, never went to prom, miserable time at the sophomore dance. In contrast my siblings did much better.

So while being mainstreamed in a private school was better in general, it still sucked. I'm FB friends with some of my classmates now as the 'social dynamics' have certainly changed since then but wouldn't call them close.
 
Can I ask a question, just to better understand? What is deaf schools like? I understand that yes, as a deaf student you would be among others with same language and the like. But wouldn't the experience be the same, as far as kids, in general, are mean to others. People form groups, people will get picked on, you have your out groups and in groups, ect... But I realize all this is assumptions. So what are deaf schools like?
 
Jezie said:
Can I ask a question, just to better understand? What is deaf schools like? I understand that yes, as a deaf student you would be among others with same language and the like. But wouldn't the experience be the same, as far as kids, in general, are mean to others. People form groups, people will get picked on, you have your out groups and in groups, ect... But I realize all this is assumptions. So what are deaf schools like?
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Guess its the same as hearing school but Deaf school, in 1970s and 1990s everyone signs. :dunno2: I heard after 2000's eveyrthing changes such as speech during classes, cued speech, and Total communication..
 
Frisky Feline said:
Guess its the same as hearing school but Deaf school, in 1970s and 1990s everyone signs. :dunno2: I heard after 2000's eveyrthing changes such as speech during classes, cued speech, and Total communication..
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What was wrong with leaving it where everyone signs....its a deaf school? I do not mean to seem as if I am argumentive ...I am just curious...
 
Jezie said:
What was wrong with leaving it where everyone signs....its a deaf school? I do not mean to seem as if I am argumentive ...I am just curious...
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I have no idea.. Guess hearing parents want their deaf kids to speak and function in the hearing world.
 
I never knew about ASL growing up and if I did my dad would never had allowed me to use it. It would had been great if my parents knew I was born
HOH instead of finding out when I was 8 yo and had failed first grade for the second time b/c I could not hear the teacher. I can't believe no one told my parents to send me the school for deaf and hoh in Boston which was about 30 minute ride from where we lived. I would love to had a chance to get the same education in grade school as any hearing kid did .
 
Frisky Feline said:
I have no idea.. Guess hearing parents want their deaf kids to speak and function in the hearing world.
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But it does not guarantee that they will be able to function in the hearing world as you state... If anything seem like it isolates them more.... But thank you for answering my question...
 
Jezie said:
But it does not guarantee that they will be able to function in the hearing world as you state... If anything seem like it isolates them more.... But thank you for answering my question...
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That's right, no guarantee.

Parents usually do hope for the best for their child(ren), which they should. However, in so many cases of deaf placement, there are a lot of failures.

(You should read up on the arguments on this board from several years earlier. There was such a big war for a long time. We, as d/Deaf posters, tried to offer experience, having "been there and done that," but we were met with parents who "knew better than the d/Deaf". :smh: )

As for myself, I was mainstreamed and hated every bit of it. I was the social freak growing up. I turned out okay later :) I so wanted to go to the deaf school, my parents would have none of it.
 
AlleyCat said:
That's right, no guarantee.

Parents usually do hope for the best for their child(ren), which they should. However, in so many cases of deaf placement, there are a lot of failures.

(You should read up on the arguments on this board from several years earlier. There was such a big war for a long time. We, as d/Deaf posters, tried to offer experience, having "been there and done that," but we were met with parents who "knew better than the d/Deaf". :smh: )

As for myself, I was mainstreamed and hated every bit of it. I was the social freak growing up. I turned out okay later :) I so wanted to go to the deaf school, my parents would have none of it.
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Curious, I know here there is a point that a child can drop out of school without parents approval. Would this not go for enrolling into a deaf school? I am not positive of all the ins and outs. I was emancipated at 14 so changing schools was not much of an issue for me..
 
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