My worst memory was during my freshman year, I was picked on teased on and narley the entire football team thought I was a sex toy and they would often sit next to me in class in grope me in places that was inappropriate. Because of this sexual assault and harassment that was ongoing, and no one to talk to and no friends, I became severely depressed. I attempted 3 times in one year. I also developed an ED believing that if I were a thin nothing that they would no longer notice me and that I was being somehow punished for being fat (I was fat - 5'4" and 178) I dwindled down to 105 in nine months. I didnt know how to eat right, and not eating at all was just easier. At this point in my life had absolutely NO control. My parents were forcing me to wear HAs when I didnt feel comfortable to wear them, plus forcing me to get braces. Between the sexual harassment, and my parents controlling my body, I felt that the ONLY control I had was food. It became pathological. I remember laying in bed at night thinking - I've gone 1 day without eating, why not two? It got down to where I was running 6 miles a day and not eating for up to 2 weeks at a time. When I got down to 105 my best friend (who was 24 at the time) called my parents and thats when I had to let it all out. It was hard and I remember having to tell my story again and again to a CPS social worker, I think thats whats likely left the most damage, having to rehash over the bad memories again and again. I would have been better off to shove it all into the back of my mind and move on. Ever since then I've never really had a 100% trust in men, and Ive never been able to date and feel comfortable about it. And oddly - due to the horrible experiences I've had with men, including an abusive ex-husband, I find myself more interested in the females. Maybe because with the females its not all about sex and the females tend to be more respectful. Ever since Ive always had a closer connection with women than I have with men by far.
My best memory of high school - getting the fuck out of there! I hated every minute of it.