What to do when your gal is a guy magnet?

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DeafCaver

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I've gotten lucky and have a very pretty woman and we love each other a lot. We plan on marriage sometime next year.
Problem is that she is a guy magnet. Other guys just can't seem to leave her alone... I don't mind her having guy friends and such but not when they hit on her covertly or openly. I mean c'mon... she's taken so move on and find someone else.
I get a little jealous feeling inside when she mentions that some guy is hitting on her even if it's on line. I trust her and know she won't flirt back seriously. But I think it'd be nice if guys would just be "friends" and not try to hint that she is with the wrong guy when they talk to her.
I'm sure it'll be less after we're married, yet still ... some guys will want to try anyway.

Anyone else with this problem?
 
DeafCaver said:
I've gotten lucky and have a very pretty woman and we love each other a lot. We plan on marriage sometime next year.
Problem is that she is a guy magnet. Other guys just can't seem to leave her alone... I don't mind her having guy friends and such but not when they hit on her covertly or openly. I mean c'mon... she's taken so move on and find someone else.
I get a little jealous feeling inside when she mentions that some guy is hitting on her even if it's on line. I trust her and know she won't flirt back seriously. But I think it'd be nice if guys would just be "friends" and not try to hint that she is with the wrong guy when they talk to her.
I'm sure it'll be less after we're married, yet still ... some guys will want to try anyway.

Anyone else with this problem?
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Pretty lousy friends if you ask me. I don't believe there's anything wrong in having feelings for your friend but, once you stop thinking about your friends happiness, then you're not much of a friend.

I only say this from my own experience because I'd developed feelings for my current girlfriend while she was dating another guy. I'd told her about it and, even though she rejected me, we stayed friends and let the subject lie as I was happy in knowing that she was happy even if it was with that other guy and not me.

I wouldn't let it get to you so much only because, in the end, their opinions mean squat and she picked you. Congratulations, by the way. :applause:
 
Bramus said:
Pretty lousy friends if you ask me. I don't believe there's anything wrong in having feelings for your friend but, once you stop thinking about your friends happiness, then you're not much of a friend.

I only say this from my own experience because I'd developed feelings for my current girlfriend while she was dating another guy. I'd told her about it and, even though she rejected me, we stayed friends and let the subject lie as I was happy in knowing that she was happy even if it was with that other guy and not me.

I wouldn't let it get to you so much only because, in the end, their opinions mean squat and she picked you. Congratulations, by the way. :applause:
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Thanks...
 
I dont think it should matter what she attracts.. the point is she's in love with you.. and if you're marrying her.. you should be able to trust her and she trust you.. thus both believe and trust you both love each other ( make sense?)...
So as long as you know that.. who cares what people think?
 
You don't need to be insecure. She wants you. It might be a good idea to find some new friends, though--like other couples who already have partners. I think that I'm boring to some of my single friends, especially since I have kids.
 
I have the same problem except I am the one being constantly messaged and hit on and im taken. I just ignore it and or call them out on it...most of them want only sex anyways so i let them know where to go. I don't like ignorant ppl so every advancing pass they try I shut them down and most of the time they get the hint...sometimes not so much...i have someone who's been harassing me and I think my gf has just about had it...dunno whats gonna happen tho. She just deals with it...she says and i quote " I know you're going to attract people cuz you're gorgeous but I know that you are with ME and that's all that matters" I dont think i am gorgeous but meh watev...

Just ignore the haters...they are just jealous of u and see u as lucky to be with your gf
 
AliciaM said:
I have the same problem except I am the one being constantly messaged and hit on and im taken. I just ignore it and or call them out on it...most of them want only sex anyways so i let them know where to go. I don't like ignorant ppl so every advancing pass they try I shut them down and most of the time they get the hint...sometimes not so much...i have someone who's been harassing me and I think my gf has just about had it...dunno whats gonna happen tho. She just deals with it...she says and i quote " I know you're going to attract people cuz you're gorgeous but I know that you are with ME and that's all that matters" I dont think i am gorgeous but meh watev...

Just ignore the haters...they are just jealous of u and see u as lucky to be with your gf
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Exactly!
 
Women don't have to be hot or pretty to be hit on by guys, I have actually seen it where beautifull women go home alone because guys are intimidated by them-so they sit alone. Just learn to deal with it because thats just the way it is.

However, you said your friends are hitting on her? I would find some new friends....
 
cdaigle430 said:
Women don't have to be hot or pretty to be hit on by guys, I have actually seen it where beautiful women go home alone because guys are intimidated by them-so they sit alone. Just learn to deal with it because thats just the way it is.

However, you said your friends are hitting on her? I would find some new friends....
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Well no, not exactly MY friends... I said: "I don't mind her having guy friends... " and I don't mind, because I've a lot of girl-friends (just friends). But I guess she needs to find the guys that know well enough to leave her alone since she's taken. I've done it. Been friends with some gorgeous women who are taken and been just friends, although how we act together alone is different how we act when their boy/girlfriends are around. It minimizes misunderstandings.
 
Hmm, I am curious, do you talk to her? Do you give her any social stimulation aside from sitting next to her? This might be the reason she may be attracting or inviting others to converse with. If it gets out of hand, the two of you can find another neutral ground to enjoy the social scenery.
 
Jess said:
Hmm, I am curious, do you talk to her? Do you give her any social stimulation aside from sitting next to her? This might be the reason she may be attracting or inviting others to converse with. If it gets out of hand, the two of you can find another neutral ground to enjoy the social scenery.
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Our relationship is a long-distance-relationship, six hours away.
 
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In all honesty, she doesn't even have to be pretty to get hit on alot. Friendly, outgoing girls are often seen as flirting, even if they're just acting the exact same way they would if they were surrounded by females. So long as she isn't be encouraging of the unwanted attention - or so long as the attention is unwanted - I don't think you need to be concerned :)
 
nope said:
In all honesty, she doesn't even have to be pretty to get hit on alot. Friendly, outgoing girls are often seen as flirting, even if they're just acting the exact same way they would if they were surrounded by females. So long as she isn't be encouraging of the unwanted attention - or so long as the attention is unwanted - I don't think you need to be concerned :)
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I agree to that, I know of a couple pretty girls who are very shy and it seems to ward off the interested parties. Even their plain friends grab nearly all the attention by chatting a lot and flattering men ;) it's not about looks, but confidence!
 
:wave: Yes I can see how you feel. A little jealous feeling would very normal reaction.
But it all boils down to trust. If your girlfriend really loves you then you need have no fears. Some guys can start to become very controlling when they are in your position. I've been there and nothing makes me walk away quicker!
Trust her! She must love you if she wants to marry you!

Girls are not thick. guys hit on us all time. It's part of the course. But I think you need have no fear. hope I make sense?
 
Partygirl said:
:wave: Yes I can see how you feel. A little jealous feeling would very normal reaction.
But it all boils down to trust. If your girlfriend really loves you then you need have no fears. Some guys can start to become very controlling when they are in your position. I've been there and nothing makes me walk away quicker!
Trust her! She must love you if she wants to marry you!

Girls are not thick. guys hit on us all time. It's part of the course. But I think you need have no fear. hope I make sense?
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Yeah you do... I feel strongly that she loves me and so I shouldn't worry but I guess it's a male-competitive thing when I see another male showing interest in her in a way that I would prefer them NOT to show interest.
Being a controlling s.o.b. is the LAST thing I want to do or be. She needs her freedom because she is such an free spirit, I want to give it to her...
I guess some of the feelings are more fearful than insecurity. Fearful because there are A LOT of nutjobs out there ... a lot of assholes who will TAKE what a girl won't give them.
If she had a high ranking belt in a martial art (not necessarily black or even brown) then I'd feel a bit more comfortable in that she can take care of herself if push comes to shove. Studying a martial art together is something we've talked about, mainly for fitness but also for self-defense if the need arises.
I can't wait to take her caving again however (see signature link)...
 
one main important thing about marriage is trusting. If you can't trust her, then there will be a lot problems in your marriage.

I understand where you are coming from, though. And in a way, there should be a point where she should back off from other guy friends. Especially the flirty type. you know, She should add more distance from them.

My ex used to talk to this girl all the time on the internet. I didn't take it seriously as I trusted him. But it got to the point that i felt neglected by him. I watched him talk to this girl more and more everyday and I needed him. he wouldn't make time for me, if you know what i mean.


I told him that it is time for him to call it off because I don't feel like we are in a relationship anymore. He got mad so I kept quiet. There's more to this story, but in the end we broke up over it. It just wasn't working.
i didn't break up with him because I didn't want him have female friends. I broke up with him because he wasn't spending enough time with me. I felt very unimportant around him and all the other girls were more important (why don't they get their own boyfriend to talk to instead of talking to mine?) . I knew I should never get to the point that I feel insecure about our relationship so I told him it was over.

Now I met my husband, and it have been great! He has all kinds of female friends and not once I feel insecure about our relationship. Because I know he will take the time to listen and talk to me and spent time with me. He actually put me on the top of his propriety list instead of the bottom.
 
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Her being attractive, there will be other guys who will try to pick her up, will always try to hit on her, It's going to happen, nothing you could do about it. Just trust that she will turn down those guys, and she has so far because she's still with you, right? You got her, and they don't. ;)
 
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