"What?" or "Pardon me?"

DeafCaroline said:
yeah, I say that too. It's either "what?" or "say that again?"
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I say that too. Rarely do I say "pardon me?" or whatever. Mostly with my family, it's "huh what?" confused look. And if I'm nosy enough, I'll keep pestering them until they tell me what they've said (if it's a group convo).
 
DeafCaroline said:
yeah, I say that too. It's either "what?" or "say that again?"
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That's my standard reply as well. When I try to explain my hearing loss, they give me a funny look and say, "But, you can talk!". Well, yeah, but that doesn't mean I can hear so please repeat yourself.
 
yes I notice people said pardon and what, means saying k,I don't understand! first time! I notice deaf cultures
 
I don't say "huh" because that just sounds rude, deaf or not. I do say either "what" or "pardon me". The choice is based on where I'm at, such as at work, or home, or with family.
 
DeafCaroline said:
I've noticed that when I sign, hearing people don't apologize. They just go with the flow - I never have to tell them I'm deaf, my signing makes that obvious. Whereas if i speak, and didn't hear what they said, then said "oh, I'm deaf, didn't hear what you said" then they apologize and walk away.
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thats not on, i get that too, and its like they seem to think we're are incapable of understanding, this is really noticed when i got older, not sure why...i suppose they seem to think if you're young, they are 'allowed' to tell you what to do, and even now some hearies do that, i get real pissed off its like there is no respect on my own personhood...
 
DeafCaroline said:
I didn't have access to closed captioning till about end of grade 8. Up till then, I was so curious what people were saying on TV - it looked like they had so much to say. Then when i got the CC box and hooked it up, I learned something new. 90% of what people say is not important. It's just oodles and oodles of words about nothing really.

Couldn't believe I had been wanting so much to understand tv for years and years only to find out I wasn't missing much :)
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well . i did find out i was missing alot
in the ccontents
cookng shows, dramas, hospital shows ok we know they die or get better but the story of what and how they got sick or hurt, i never got it, until subtitles came along with teletex it was like magically made tv accessible!
but were still behind in other areas, not for this thread..but will bring it up ok
 
rockin'robin said:
I've had one lady say..."Oh, she's deaf?....Ahhh...I just don't know how to talk to her"...It was apparent she wanted to "talk", just didn't know how..(I know that sounds "ignorant"....but my guess is that she did not know ASL, did not know that I lip-read...or even could "read & write").....I saw that same lady again a few weeks later, and she did "wave" at me...and I could see on her face, that she did want to talk further, but she had not "figured out" just how to go about it.....

There are many situations we deafies get into. So I do feel that if a deafie & a hearie really want to talk to each other, they will find a way.

Hearies basically "jibber and jabber" to each other while waiting in lines, etc. Seems their mouths can't stop moving! And it's all about silly/stupid stuff, mainly.....In more ways than none, I'm glad I can't hear all the stupid stuff being said by hearies....especially their profane language.

Some hearies are "lonely", just as some of us deafies are, and just want some communication. Some hearies can't be quiet, even for 10 minutes....and some hearies, whenever you let them know that you are deaf....and they keep on talking...basically, they are just running their mouth off about something stupid, not even caring who you are.....basically, they are just talking to themselves and are not even worth your time.
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frankly i like talkative hearies, some are pretty stupid, but i have stumbled/meet some really interesting ones...and even sometimes seemingly boring ones do get me curious like how come are they like that, but i dont always get into it, oftentimes it does seem a waste of time, especially now that i am busier than before...so attitudes changes and i found myself just a bit more tolerant of those 'walking-awayers' like there are times its out of sheer rudeness of embarrassment other times its just a normal 'oh lets not bother each other shall we'? reaction, put it this way with a more resilient and tolerant newer me, i am more able to shrug it off saying oh it could be just we dont need to waste time, rather than jumping the gun feeling i was put downed when i wasn't... but yes it does happens, and when it happen i find myself more and more say "its their problem, they cant handle deafness - fuck them" and move on
 
I remember when my 12 year old daughter was just a tiny little thing. Whenever anyone spoke to her she would look at them and say "Huh... what?"

Sometimes she would wait for them to repeat it, and other times she would say it and then proceed to repsond to their inquiry. For example "Tay, do you want a cookie?" and she would say "Huh... what? Yes please, two cookies!"

We seriously thought it was her hearing. Turns out I just said that phrase so often that she picked up on it and automatically said it whenever somebody spoke to her. :laugh2:
 
O*I*C said:
I remember when my 12 year old daughter was just a tiny little thing. Whenever anyone spoke to her she would look at them and say "Huh... what?"

Sometimes she would wait for them to repeat it, and other times she would say it and then proceed to repsond to their inquiry. For example "Tay, do you want a cookie?" and she would say "Huh... what? Yes please, two cookies!"

We seriously thought it was her hearing. Turns out I just said that phrase so often that she picked up on it and automatically said it whenever somebody spoke to her. :laugh2:
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Lol that quite sweet! She stopped doing this now?

I say what? and huh? too. I never say pardon. Sometimes my face go like what are you saying and they know I didn't understand, usually to people I know.
 
O*I*C said:
I remember when my 12 year old daughter was just a tiny little thing. Whenever anyone spoke to her she would look at them and say "Huh... what?"

Sometimes she would wait for them to repeat it, and other times she would say it and then proceed to repsond to their inquiry. For example "Tay, do you want a cookie?" and she would say "Huh... what? Yes please, two cookies!"

We seriously thought it was her hearing. Turns out I just said that phrase so often that she picked up on it and automatically said it whenever somebody spoke to her. :laugh2:
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I do that too. For me, it tends to be because my brain has some sort of delay, so first it processes "I didn't catch that, respond with 'Huh?' or 'What?'" then it speaks, then it processes "Okay, next step, make a best guess of what was said: '[stuff]oo[stuff]oo[stuff]ant[stuff]ookie'... oh, 'Do you want a cookie?', respond "Yes, gimme all, cookies are the best, nomnomnom".

Or very often the case, which was probably a learned behavior:
I hear: "Can you [stuff] me [stuff]ith [stuff][stuff]rder [stuff]stem?"
First pass response: "Huh?"
Second pass response: "Did you just say murder?"
Third pass: Oh, he meant "Can you help me with the order system?"

However, I very rarely have a filter between my brain and my mouth, probably because I ended up socializing with people far more when I didn't bother shutting myself down by over-thinking things. So by the time I get to the third pass, I've already steered the conversation away from the original question and into the topic of "What, why are you talking about murder?".
 
I also got delay progressing what people are saying. Hearing wants fast response. So when they say something I say huh...what straight away then about 5-10 seconds later I got what they are saying before they repeat like my brain need time to progress what they are saying to get to my brain! By lipreading if it is people I can lipread (that is limited few).
 
Speedy Hawk said:
I also got delay progressing what people are saying. Hearing wants fast response. So when they say something I say huh...what straight away then about 5-10 seconds later I got what they are saying before they repeat like my brain need time to progress what they are saying to get to my brain! By lipreading if it is people I can lipread (that is limited few).
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Yeah, I have semi-regular fights with my girlfriend cause she gets angry at me for not being able to hear her correctly. Somehow "Sorry that your inability to hear me is extremely annoying" isn't nearly as convincing as "Sorry that I'm unable to properly understand you".

I was hoping the hearing test at the audi a week or two ago would help, but from talking to people here, it sounds like I probably just have some form of audio processing disorder.
 
So you got delay progressing by trying to hear what people saying?

Mine is by lipreading cos I do not understand speech at all.

With BSL there no delay progressing at all. I get it straight away. It only happens when lipreading when I can.
 
Speedy Hawk said:
So you got delay progressing by trying to hear what people saying?

Mine is by lipreading cos I do not understand speech at all.

With BSL there no delay progressing at all. I get it straight away. It only happens when lipreading when I can.
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Well I don't have any hearing loss, so I assume that's the case. I've not actually been diagnosed for delay processing or auditory processing disorder or anything similar, I've just noticed the effects of something like that in my life.
 
I'd guess that whether one says "sorry" or "excuse me" or "what?" or something else is largely a cultural variable.

I usually say "excuse me?" and ordinarily only use "what?" to identify clearly what I didn't understand. For instance, if my husband is putting away groceries and saying something about what he bought, I might say "Excuse me? You bought what at the deli counter?"

I've noticed that my British sister-in-law and other British relatives tend to say "Sorry?" way more often than Americans do. I use "sorry" when I'm genuinely apologizing for something, but the Brits (at least the ones I know) say it constantly, either with a questioning inflection to indicate they didn't understand something (sometimes our different accents cause a problem), or in many other situations where my Midwestern inclination would be more "excuse me" (like passing in front of someone).

I don't think I ever use "sorry?" to indicate I didn't hear something. Sounds very British to do that.
 
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