What kind of a world did you grow up in?

I don't know about other people.
Speaking from my own experience.

In a mainstream school setting, there are few or no (D)eaf, you don't have much close friends at first, and in general everyone leans with the "go with the flow" method.

If the popular gossip is about how John and Jane are in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, then everyone else joins in.
If the popular gossip is about how Joe's mom burned the bible, then everyone talks about it.
If the popular gossip is making fun of someone, be it another deaf or handicapped child, then everyone else joins in.

That's what socialization does.

Bullies and enemies make a great impact as peer pressure.

Sitting around decomposing in the wastelands are a few pink referral slips I got for trying to start a fight with others for pissing me off. The school district saw it as "eye for an eye" democracy policy, I viewed it as self-defense and still do.

When you go through ~200 days of mainstream school per year, you have to live with this just about everyday.
Not just one person. One person who chides to make three fourths of your classmates hawk you down for anything you do wrong in front of them to make their day. You not only see these children at school, but also when you are out, buying your school materials at the stores or eating in a restaurant somewhere.
Multiply that up with your entire childhoold and teens, tell someone that it never bothers you the slightest.

Either way, I acknowledge people handle stress differently.
That's how I handled mine.

I always felt sorry for the mental+physically challenged kids when they were the spur of the moment, unknowingly to them.
 
Bottesini said:
Because no one but you was home schooled. That is what normal socialization in a classroom does to people.

And it also supposedly prepares you to function in the real world.

Self conscious would be for another reason in a child who was not deaf.
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Even though I was home schooled--I still socialized with peers when we were travelling and they didn't bat an eye.....:hmm:

naisho said:
I don't know about other people.
Speaking from my own experience.
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I thought maybe it had to due with being Asian as it's known in Asian culture if one isn't "perfect" in terms of physical sense-- it's looked down upon.....
 
I was born HOH and quite nearly blind. I got glasses in grade two, got my first HA at 19 years of age. i grew up in a mainstream school, they treated me badly, as if I was a non-desirable mentally handicapped child (funny, now I work and advocate with that population). Mu speech was very slow and I had a speech impediment. How the heck no one caught onto the fact that I wasn't hearing still blows me away today. But, I don't dwell on it, my childhood sucked and my adult life rules, onward I go.

As a child and young teen I was convinced I was an alien, nothing in this world made any sense to me, I lived in fear and choas (of course the physical and verbal abuse from teachers and sexual abuse didn't help either).

When I got my first HA I was floored, I had to learn how to socialize, I still interrupt people too much, am never sure when it is my turn to talk. I know some sign, and used sign with my son when he was little, he signed with me at 4 months of age and his first words were a sentence at 11 months old. We still use some sign, but no fluently, mostly to fill in the gaps or empasize the topic or key words.

I need to push myself to get social and go take more sign courses and practice with my son and b/f as my hearing is rapidly decreasing these last few months. Without my HA I can only hear if someone is talking right into my ear, I think I was able to learn to talk cause my older sister would hold me close and she had a very very loud voice. I tend to be very perceptive and when I got my HA I had to learn and still sometimes struggle with just pretending I know what the person is saying. yup, that is my story in a nut shell.

I have very much enjoyed reading the other posts in this thread, thankyou for sharing everyone.
 
Byrdie714 said:
Even though I was home schooled--I still socialized with peers when we were travelling and they didn't bat an eye.....:hmm:
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You didn't have to deal with the same group of tormentors day in and day out for an entire school career.

The cocoon of home schooling and moving around where people only know you in the most casual way insulates you from pain.
 
The stereotype of cultural perfectionism of disabilities being looked down upon shouldn't just apply to Asians, doesn't it cover just about every race on earth?

Take away all my Oriental Asian values, I can get by fine living as an American. Take away my American values, I make a poor example of what's it like to be really Oriental.
George Takei, BD Wong, Lucy Liu, Kelly Hu probably serve better images of this than others or even I do.

Before citing more, I will stop here since it off-tangets to the original intent of the topic.
 
Bottesini said:
You didn't have to deal with the same group of tormentors day in and day out for an entire school career.

The cocoon of home schooling and moving around where people only know you in the most casual way insulates you from pain.
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I've had my tormentors. What I did was fight back.
 
Daredevel7 said:
I don't think I was THAT embarrassed about my hearing aids or anything.
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Didn't you start wearing hearing aids as a child? I started wearing them at age 15 which is a difficult time given the fact that teenagers want to fit in and look as "normal" as possible. Note that I'm not saying it's any more difficult for someone who wore aids since childhood to fit into a mainstreamed high school. What I am saying is that when a teenager (like myself) was always known as a person who could hear well, having to wear hearing aids at a time when you want to be accepted by your peers can have a negative effect on one's self-esteem.
 
Hear Again said:
Didn't you start wearing hearing aids as a child? I started wearing them at age 15 which is a difficult time given the fact that teenagers want to fit in and look as "normal" as possible. Note that I'm not saying it's any more difficult for someone who wore aids since childhood to fit into a mainstreamed high school. What I am saying is that when a teenager (like myself) was always known as a person who could hear well, having to wear hearing aids at a time when you want to be accepted by your peers can have a negative effect on one's self-esteem.
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I wore mine all my life and was never embarassed about them until some kids started bullying me about them on a daily basis in 5th grade. 5th grade was when EVERYTHING changed for me and the next 3 years were just pure pure pure pure hell. I wouldnt repeat those years of my life for a million dollars. I have met many mainstreamed deaf kids and a few of them were never bullied nor made fun of. I tell them that they were very very very lucky that the kids werent bullies. For some reason, my school had a lot of them.
 
shel90 said:
I wore mine all my life and was never embarassed about them until some kids started bullying me about them on a daily basis in 5th grade. 5th grade was when EVERYTHING changed for me and the next 3 years were just pure pure pure pure hell. I wouldnt repeat those years of my life for a million dollars. I have met many mainstreamed deaf kids and a few of them were never bullied nor made fun of. I tell them that they were very very very lucky that the kids werent bullies. For some reason, my school had a lot of them.
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I know how you feel. I was bullied in elementary school from 1st through 6th grade. My classmates would trip me in the hallway, step on my white cane, move my Braille books and Perkins Brailler from one shelf to another and call me "blindy" or "blind bat." :(
 
In elementary school < "resource roomed" at that time> and especially in 7-8th grades I was physically bullied; I obviously smaller than everybody else and didn't understand things that were to be automatically understood; didn't play team/"playground" sports well, had speech impairments. I understand what is liked to be bullied.
 
Hear Again and Shel90, just because I wasn't VERY embarrassed by them doesn't mean I wasn't bullied. I've had someone to actually YANK out my hearing aid and throw it across the room plus a few who would cover their mouths and say something like "Haha, you can't understand me!" or ask "Why do you talk so weird?". For some reason, I was more embarrassed about being "poor" than deaf. I went to a private school where many people were upper class and I was middle class. I didn't want to invite people over to my house because I thought it was too small. Everyone has issues growing up. Just because you're deaf doesn't mean it would automatically the biggest issue.
 
Hear Again said:
Didn't you start wearing hearing aids as a child? I started wearing them at age 15 which is a difficult time given the fact that teenagers want to fit in and look as "normal" as possible. Note that I'm not saying it's any more difficult for someone who wore aids since childhood to fit into a mainstreamed high school. What I am saying is that when a teenager (like myself) was always known as a person who could hear well, having to wear hearing aids at a time when you want to be accepted by your peers can have a negative effect on one's self-esteem.
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Yes, you're right. I was used to having HAs (that I had since 18 months old) so I was more prepared for the difficulties of wearing them in a mainstream school than one who just got them during the teen years.
 
Daredevel7 said:
Hear Again and Shel90, just because I wasn't VERY embarrassed by them doesn't mean I wasn't bullied. I've had someone to actually YANK out my hearing aid and throw it across the room plus a few who would cover their mouths and say something like "Haha, you can't understand me!" or ask "Why do you talk so weird?". For some reason, I was more embarrassed about being "poor" than deaf. I went to a private school where many people were upper class and I was middle class. I didn't want to invite people over to my house because I thought it was too small. Everyone has issues growing up. Just because you're deaf doesn't mean it would automatically the biggest issue.
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Well, being deaf was my biggest issue cuz of lack of access to everything being said. If I was a hearing person being bullied, at least I would have the advantage of knowing what they are saying and be prepared..the kids took advantage of my deafness by making communication and access to information harder for me as if it wasnt already hard enough in the first place. The teachers also treated me like this poor deaf child..they would constantly make comments about my deafness in front of everyone such as "Shelly, are you understanding me? Shelly, do u understand (name) ok?" "Shelly, is your hearing aid working" Day in and day out...
 
Hear Again said:
I felt the same way when I was 15 and started wearing hearing aids. I did everything I could to hide them. When my itinerant teacher asked me one day in front of the entire class, "Hear Again, how do you like your new hearing aids?" I just about died from embarrassment. No offense, but it was bad enough being the only totally blind student let alone a totally blind student who wore hearing aids.
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I don't remember being embarrassed by HAs but I sure do remember being embarrassed by my Phonic Ear in middle school. Had I remained there for more than 3 months, I'm sure i would have found creative ways to lose it.
 
shel90 said:
If I was a hearing person being bullied, at least I would have the advantage of knowing what they are saying and be prepared..
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You're exactly right shel. Since I could hear, I could respond to the classmates who were bullying me. When you can't hear, you have no idea what they are saying and can't defend yourself.

Daredevel7 said:
Just because you're deaf doesn't mean it would automatically the biggest issue.
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You may not think being deaf is the worst thing to experience while in school, but stop and consider the position I was in. I was totally blind and could hear pretty well for most of my life. The people I knew in high school were those I grew up with since kindergarten. Imagine how difficult it is emotionally when you've known your classmates for that long and now they see you not only as someone who is totally blind, but "deaf" as well. No offense, but since you've always worn hearing aids, you've never had to make the adjustment from not wearing them to wearing them.
 
Hear Again said:
You're exactly right shel. Since I could hear, I could respond to the classmates who were bullying me. When you can't hear, you have no idea what they are saying and can't defend yourself.

Daredevel,

You may not think being deaf is the worst thing to experience while in school, but stop and consider the position I was in. I was totally blind and could hear pretty well for most of my life. The people I knew in high school were those I grew up with since kindergarten. Imagine how difficult it is emotionally when you've known your classmates for that long and now they see you not only as someone who is totally blind, but "deaf" as well. No offense, but since you've always worn hearing aids, you've never had to make the adjustment from being hearing to hard of hearing.
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It was the same thing...those were my friends from the lower elementary years and they turned onto me. By high school, the bullying eased but to them, it was like I didnt exist anymore. Sure, they said hi to me and stuff but I was never invited to socialize with them. I was told by someone that they didnt want to put up with repeating everything for me. At first I thought that person was saying it to be mean but I am sure that person was right. Through facebook, I am finding that many of them are still friends and have posted about their memories while in high school. I have none with them so it was kinda a reality bite discovering that.
 
Maybe I should clarify myself. I don't mean to say being deaf is "nothing". Sometimes when people have a bigger issue at hand, it can make other issues seem trivial, if that makes sense? It has nothing to do with the issue itself, but rather how much the issue affects you.
 
Hear Again said:
You may not think being deaf is the worst thing to experience while in school, but stop and consider the position I was in. I was totally blind and could hear pretty well for most of my life. The people I knew in high school were those I grew up with since kindergarten. Imagine how difficult it is emotionally when you've known your classmates for that long and now they see you not only as someone who is totally blind, but "deaf" as well. No offense, but since you've always worn hearing aids, you've never had to make the adjustment from not wearing them to wearing them.
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Maybe I should have made post 32 before post 31? ;)
 
deafskeptic said:
I don't remember being embarrassed by HAs but I sure do remember being embarrassed by my Phonic Ear in middle school. Had I remained there for more than 3 months, I'm sure i would have found creative ways to lose it.
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I remember you mentioning this in several posts. I felt like doing the same thing to my hearing aids. It wasn't until my friends grew increasingly frustrated at trying to communicate with me that they begged me to start wearing them on a regular basis. Once I did, I was amazed at how much better I could hear. From that day on, I reminded myself that I'd rather wear hearing aids and respond appropriately than not wear them and appear stupid.
 
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