What is it like to be hearing?

Ok having faced both worlds myself I can try to put this into focus.

As a hearing person you are in a world that is both alien and familiar to you.The world is familiar because there are so many like you. It is alien because there is so much that you are faced with that you never even knew existed but are expected to know about. You are taught by others like you who are hearing as well, so you never really expect that there is anything different out there until you are confronted with it, either through knowing someone different or someone different bringing the issues to life.The world is also alien to you because it is not a very close knit community. The only ones you ever really do know and connect with are family members, co workers, church members or close friends.

To hear sound is a wonderful experience in a lot of ways. To hear your mother's voice soothing you when you are sick, to hear the sound of your children laughing or singing, to hear the music to some of the world's best songs. To share a love song with your significant other and sing to one another. To hear the birds singing in the trees to wake you up in the morning, the phone ringing and it being your boyfriend calling you to tell you he loves you. And last but not least to be able to hear someone say the words I love you to you.

While its true that we cannot turn off sound and some sounds are very annoying at that. We can tune them out to where they are almost non existant. Most of being hearing is not done through active thinking itself it is just automatic for those of us that could hear.

Now while it may sound like i am saying that being hearing is better. I wanna give you all a kick in the butt and start contrasting that with being deaf.

Being deaf is being able to know true peace and quiet.Being deaf is to have an extended family because the community is so tight and usually very supportive of one another that you feel that the world is actually very small instead of so big and scary.Being deaf is not being told by one another that we cant do something but that there NOTHING that WE CANT DO. Being deaf is seeing emotion in its true motional form.

And last but not least being deaf allows one acceptance as it should be. It is knowing one of the most beautiful languages in the world today. It is love in its purest forms, and it is to know some of the greatest people in the world today.
 
Jiro said:
love your spirit!!! most late-deafened adults just crumble away and succumb to long life of depression and self-denial. shame..... what a waste.

:ily:
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Jiro that is true of some but that is also true to latened blind or latened paraplegics or anyone that suffers a loss somehow.

Being born deaf or blind or paraplegic can actually be a blessing in alot of ways because for that person they do not know any different so they do not suffer the loss of something that they never had.


For those that you know who are depressed because of being deaf, the best you can do is constantly show them that it is not life ending and that there are many successful and well adjusted deaf people.

Also try to remember they do grieve the loss of something they once had.

Many of us do not deny that we are deaf and many of us accept the fact that we are deaf as we are forced to accept it, we have no choice. However, being told that we should be proud of being deaf or that we are simply not accepting ourselves somehow feels to me that we are trivializing a very traumatic experience to those of us who are suddenly thrown into a world we mostly knew nothing about.

I too went into a deep depression for a full year after becoming deaf for the first time in my life. I knew nothing about deaf people. So I had no clue that there were MANY MANY others like me and that there was a way to communicate with people. I had no clue that there were devices to help me live in a suddenly very strange world. I also had no clue on even where to go to meet others like me. Remember usually doctors dont give out information on how to cope with this or where to go to get help. This makes acceptance of becoming deaf or whatever happened to you very hard to cope with at first.

Then if you are one of the lucky ones that do meet some good deaf people, you are able to really start getting a handle on it and start accepting it. But if you are one of the unlucky ones like I was and meet other deaf people that are jealous because you can talk, still hear very well with a hearing aid, so well that you can talk on the phone, that they trivialize you and say you are not deaf so you dont belong here. Then see how you would feel about accepting being deaf?

That is why i still say to this day, it does not matter how deaf you are. It only matters that when the devices come out that cannot hear as well as you did before when you were hearing.

Many of us are faced with deaf people telling you that if you want to learn the language to pick up a book cause they arent telling you what that sign means. This has a very negative impact on those of us who are newly deafened and makes accepting ourselves for what we are now very hard to do. Why would we want to accept that we are part of a community that seems so cold and cruel and acting like if you arent born that way or already know the culture, community and language then you are not worth helping?

Sadly, there are still many of us that are acting this way. Happily, that is changing more and more now. And many of us both born deaf and latened deaf are getting a voice and making a positive change happen both in the deaf world and in the hearing world. We are also making some very positive strides with doctors around the world, getting more information out there than there ever was before. Also, another very positive and happy change in our community is the choices in education, jobs open to us, and awareness.

So, maybe by sharing my own experiences and others like me voicing out. We can start making a difference for those of us coming to this wonderful community so late in life and end those suffering in life long depressions and the non acceptance and self denial and show them the true light and meaning of what it is to be deaf.
 
The most depressing part about hearing loss isn't the hearing loss. It's the people that refuse to acknowledge and change their ways so that it can just be hearing loss and nothing more. That is, the people in your everyday life that refuse to learn sign language or that refuse to learn minor modifications like being conscious of lighting and facing you while talking.

Just my two cents.
 
CJB said:
The most depressing part about hearing loss isn't the hearing loss. It's the people that refuse to acknowledge and change their ways so that it can just be hearing loss and nothing more. That is, the people in your everyday life that refuse to learn sign language or that refuse to learn minor modifications like being conscious of lighting and facing you while talking.

Just my two cents.
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Extremely good posting!! So true and everything!!
 
Kaelisabeth said:
:monkey: ASL USED TO BE ON ZOOM!?!?! OMG! I was TOTALLY OBSESSED WITH THAT SHOW! I am serious! My stuffed animals only spoke Ubby Dubby! HaHa
...*clears throat* excuse me, flashbacks came when I read your post...never saw sign language on Zoom...must have missed that episode... :fruit:

I don't know how I could take it if I went deaf. Were you freaked out? Did it happen suddenly or over a period of time?

I would flip if I went deaf, probably because I have hyperacusis. It is an intolernace to normal, everyday sounds and pairs with tinitus sometimes. I don't have tinitus though. Some people are born with hyperacusis, for others, it comes from hearing something too loud like a gun shot, or just because.
I don't know if I was born with it, but my ears really started bugging me when I was about 16. But I have always been particular to quiet environments...so who knows?
To me, the world is loud. I am use to hearing EVERYTHING. I couldn't imagine my life without sound because my life is never quiet.
I still love my ears though. I love sounds. My hyperacusis varies from day to day so much that I forget I have it. Today happens to be a bad day so I feel inclined to bitch *cough* inform about it. I am lucky. Some people have it so bad that they can't even whisper their own voice because it is too loud and it is impossible to forget you have it.
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hahaha I loved that show as well! And it was like ONE episode and then I never saw that one episode again...I was so enthralled tho haha...I remember going on the computer right away to search ASL and the alphabet and I learned to sign my name, well fingerspell, and that was when I was like 8 or something..never knew that eventually it may come in handy. No mine was progressive but fast. I noticed my tinnitus first and then my hearing loss and then I was tested once a year, then every 6 months, lol and now its every 3 months. I lost bw 60-80dB in all frequencies in the past 15 months. I have horribleeeee tinnitus you're lucky lol its pretty annoying but I usually ignore it the best i can :)

oh and Jiro and Shel- I find that life is too short to sweat the small stuff. I want to focus on my career (medical) and my life and my lil juniors I coach and the sometimes modelling that i do for fun. I don't think I ever really had a grief period. I just wanted to learn everything about deafness and culture and immersed myself so I was knowledgeable...lol i don't think i had time to worry I just wanted to know what I was dealing with...so ya:)
 
lol no i am going into medical esthetics so like laser hair removal, botox, restylin, chemical peels, cellulite treatments, etc :) but i still get to work with some cool machines and needles etc Some plastic surgeons do the same treatments in their offices
 
Great Question!

When I think, I talk to myself and so it is as if I am hearing myself say my thoughts. Same with when I am reading or writing. It is as if I can hear the words.

Right now, I am sitting in my office--I can hear myself typing, the buzzing of the computer that sits across the room, and the sound of the drinking fountain down the hall. Right now I hear loud footsteps from someone wearing shoes with heals (I can usually guess by the sound of the footsteps what kind of shoes they are wearing and if it's a woman or man). I can hear a toilet flushing, which is a good 30 yards away. I hear people having a conversation in an office down the hall. I can't make out the words, but I hear the voices and know that it is a woman and a man, probably 3 or 4 doors down from me. Also, every so often, I do hear the full word, for example, the man just said something about "coffee." I can also hear myself breathing (sometimes, but not always). There is constant noise, sometimes more and sometimes less.

Also, I have a hard time when things are quiet. I always like to have music on or a tv show on, just for "background noise" aside from the buzzing of electronics and appliances. It has to be quiet for me to sleep. My next-door neighbor likes to play his electric guitar. Last night it was until 11:45pm. I was not horribly happy with that.

A lot of times, when I am talking to someone or listening to someone give a talk of some sort, I also do something else (whether it's taking notes in class or cleaning my apartment while on the phone with someone). It makes me less attentive to what the person is saying.

Hmm... I am trying to think what else it is like, but I don't know. Of course the normal things: I like being able to hear kids laugh and to be in a different room and be confident that I will hear a baby cry who is sleeping elsewhere. I love listening to the rain and I adore music. I don't know that I get frustrated that there is always noise--it is all I know, so I can't imagine it any different.
 
aimsterg, I have an "inner voice" too. I think it's common for everyone to have one, whether hearing or Deaf. Some people hear the voice, some people see text written, some people see/hear both. Some people see the signs in their head, some people "see" the braille in their minds. It's interesting to think how our perception affects our thinking. :P
 
I see pictures in my head. And signs. I rarely see words. Since I am losing my hearing, things can often sound "mumble -y". Sometimes I'll be going along speaking to someone and suddenly it's like - she said blah blah the house....
but the contrast between hearing like I did a year or so ago and now really gives me a different perspective on how it to "be" hearing.

I have dogs and as dogs tend to learn better visually regardless of hearing status, a lot of my training and my communication with them is non-verbal.
 
AliciaM said:
lol no i am going into medical esthetics so like laser hair removal, botox, restylin, chemical peels, cellulite treatments, etc :) but i still get to work with some cool machines and needles etc Some plastic surgeons do the same treatments in their offices
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needles :eek2: I'd love to be a pediatrician but... I hate math and I think it's a big part in science and that I hate needles :) But I love kids, that's why I'm a volunteer :)

BTW, I don't wanna get old, can you give me some botox, please? :giggle:
 
:laugh2: I remember one time when I had a dream that I had closed captioning in my eyeballs, so I can get what everyone around me is saying. Hee hee.
 
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