What is it like to be deaf -poem

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Lighthouse77

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What Is It Like To Be Deaf?



"What is it like to be deaf?"

People have asked me.

Deaf? Oh, hmm... how do I explain that?

Simple: I can't hear.



No, wait... it is much more than that.

It is similar to a goldfish in a bowl,

Always observing things going on.

People talking at all times.

It is like a man on his own island

Among foreigners.



Isolation is no stranger to me.

Relatives say hi and bye

But I sit for 5 hours among them

Taking great pleasure at amusing babies

Or being amused by TV.

Reading books, resting, helping out with food.



Natural curiosity perks up

Upon seeing great laughter, crying, anger.

Inquiring only to meet with a "Never mind" or

"Oh, it's not important".

Getting a summarized statement

Of the whole day.



I'm supposed to smile to show my happiness.

Little do they know how truly miserable I am.

People are in control of language usage,

I am at loss and really uncomfortable!



Always feeling like an outsider

Among the hearing people,

Even though it was not their intention.



Always assuming that I am part of them

By my physical presence, not understanding

The importance of communication.



Facing the choice between Deaf Event

weekend or a family reunion.

Facing the choice between the family commitment and Deaf friends.

I must make the choices constantly,

Any wonder why I choose Deaf friends???



I get such great pleasure at the Deaf clubs,

Before I realize it, it is already 2:00 am,

Whereas I anxiously look at the clock

Every few minutes at the Family Reunion.



With Deaf people, I feel so normal,

Our communication flows back and forth.

Catch up with little trivials, our daily life,

Our frustration in the bigger world,

Seeking the mutual understanding,

Contented smiles and laughter are musical.

So magical to me,

So attuned to each other's feelings.



True happiness is so important.

I feel more at home with Deaf people

Of various color, religion, short or tall.

Than I do among my own hearing relatives.

And you wonder why?

Our language is common.

We understand each other.



Being at loss of control

Of the environment that is communication,

People panic and retreat to avoid

Deaf people like the plague.



But Deaf people are still human beings

With dreams, desires, and needs

To belong, just like everyone else.



--Dianne Kinnee (Switras)
 
Was the author deaf? that poam reflects my whole life, first as a hoh person
and then as a deaf person
 
That was an amazing poem. It described a lot of how I feel at times when strangers make quick judgements about me.
 
"like a goldfish in a bowl" ; "like a man on his own island among foreigners" - so descriptive of how it is really like for us. Thanks.
 
Boy that brought back memories and not good one! My famliy would like to go out eat a lot and my mother or old sister would call me from downstairs to say we're going out for supper! When it was time for supper ,I would go down stairs and no one would be home! My family would come back a couple of hours later laughing and having a great time and talking about how great the food was! They said they called me but I did not come down and they thought I did not want to go! GRRR ! I would be upstairs in my bedroom with the door closes , there way no way I could anyone calling me! This happen more than one time! I felt out an outsider in my own family!
 
whatdidyousay! said:
Boy that brought back memories and not good one! My famliy would like to go out eat a lot and my mother or old sister would call me from downstairs to say we're going out for supper! When it was time for supper ,I would go down stairs and no one would be home! My family would come back a couple of hours later laughing and having a great time and talking about how great the food was! They said they called me but I did not come down and they thought I did not want to go! GRRR ! I would be upstairs in my bedroom with the door closes , there way no way I could anyone calling me! This happen more than one time! I felt out an outsider in my own family!
Click to expand...

I completly understand! Same thing is still happening to me.. It sucks.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
Boy that brought back memories and not good one! My famliy would like to go out eat a lot and my mother or old sister would call me from downstairs to say we're going out for supper! When it was time for supper ,I would go down stairs and no one would be home! My family would come back a couple of hours later laughing and having a great time and talking about how great the food was! They said they called me but I did not come down and they thought I did not want to go! GRRR ! I would be upstairs in my bedroom with the door closes , there way no way I could anyone calling me! This happen more than one time! I felt out an outsider in my own family!
Click to expand...

Similar thing happens to me, the husband and family all go out and I come downstairs and no one is at home. I immensely dislike that vunerable feeling. :(
 
whatdidyousay! said:
Boy that brought back memories and not good one! My famliy would like to go out eat a lot and my mother or old sister would call me from downstairs to say we're going out for supper! When it was time for supper ,I would go down stairs and no one would be home! My family would come back a couple of hours later laughing and having a great time and talking about how great the food was! They said they called me but I did not come down and they thought I did not want to go! GRRR ! I would be upstairs in my bedroom with the door closes , there way no way I could anyone calling me! This happen more than one time! I felt out an outsider in my own family!
Click to expand...

That is so WRONG! I grew up with an Aunt that was deaf and we always made sure we got her attention before telling her our plans. But she was always watching us to make sure we didn't leave her or do something without letting her know. Listening to you makes me understand that a little more. I also make sure I get a response from my DH when I inform him that I am doing something. If he doesn't respond that means he didn't hear me and I need to try again.

So sorry your family is doing that.
 
I love this Poem!!! It does reminds me of the times during my childhood around my Family reunion and so on....
 
Lighthouse77 said:
What Is It Like To Be Deaf?


Natural curiosity perks up

Upon seeing great laughter, crying, anger.

Inquiring only to meet with a "Never mind" or

"Oh, it's not important".

Getting a summarized statement

Of the whole day.
Click to expand...
I had a friend at a corporate job who had a profound loss. We had to tell Marilyn when to replace her ear molds ... now I'm in her shoes :) . She used to tell me the thing that pissed her off the most was when anyone (including me) told her just what this says. Now, I'm the one telling my partner not to blow me off with those statements but I realize we're both affected by my deafness so I quickly get over being pissed off.
 
ShariB said:
I had a friend at a corporate job who had a profound loss. We had to tell Marilyn when to replace her ear molds ... now I'm in her shoes :) . She used to tell me the thing that pissed her off the most was when anyone (including me) told her just what this says. Now, I'm the one telling my partner not to blow me off with those statements but I realize we're both affected by my deafness so I quickly get over being pissed off.
Click to expand...

She probably lived with it all her life. I know it seem awkward to repeat the story. Which is why some deaf prefer signing. The way I'm seeing, whole point of her poem was not really make hearing people adapt to her needs or change their ways of how they communicate, but to point out why deaf people need sign language so they can get their fair share of socializing. (it is to show to parents not to go by oral-only route)
 
Whoa. That poem was...Wow. It was so insightful and kind of speechless, I kind of feel like crying...!

*Not trying to distract from the poem, here is an essay I wrote for one of my college applications. I had to write about an issue that is important to me. It really goes along with this poem, though it is from the side of a hearing person (me). (The man, Pedro, in the story is the man who gave me my sign name!)


I watch as the man raises his hands, his face to his Creator. He cannot hear the beautiful, soul-stirring music. He cannot hear those behind him worshipping. In fact, he cannot hear at all. Pedro attends these District Prayer Meetings; he is the only Deaf man present, which is no surprise as a recent survey by Silent Blessings Ministries states that only a mere two percent of Deaf people claim to be Christian. Because Pedro is alone in his stand for Christ as a Deaf man, he has no friends other than his interpreter. Ignored by hearing people. Isolated. And as I watch Pedro sincerely worship the One who made him Deaf, I realize… it bothers me that he is ignored. It bothers me very much.
Prayer meeting ends and I begin to timidly approach Pedro. Thoughts of doubt fog my mind as the epiphany shocks me: I cannot effectively communicate with this man. Like everyone other person in the room—in the whole building, actually—I am not fluent in sign language. Perhaps I will just make a fool of myself; or perhaps he will think I am trying to mock him. Before I can turn back, however, Pedro notices me. Catching my eyes, he waves enthusiastically; his smile stretches further than his face will permit. I reach his side, or Pedro reaches my side, or maybe we both meet in the middle. All I can concentrate on are his words in sign to me. “You have grown up so much since the last time I saw you. Are you still taking sign language classes?” “Yes,” I slowly sign back, “but I do not know sign fluently yet.” Pedro shrugs off my self-doubt, happy that he can speak to someone, even if it requires many gestures and much finger spelling.
Lost in conversation, while learning new signs, I am surprised when I notice the time! “We have been talking for forty-five minutes and not once has Pedro made fun of me for not being proficient in sign.” I think to myself, smiling. But then I think again, and this time the smile vanishes. “No one else has tried to converse with Pedro. Could it be that so few Deaf people attend church because hearing people do not care enough to bridge the communication gap?”
Then, there, with Pedro’s loneliness of the past, I determine in my mind, in my heart, even in the very depths of my soul to be a pillar—a pillar that will stand up as a foundation for the communication-gap bridge. Whatever the hardships that may come as a discouragement to my becoming a Deaf educator, I will stand strong. For the deaf community. For Pedro. For hearing people. And for myself.
 
The first part of the poem definitely fits my life growing up. Beautifully written!
 
This is a very interesting poem and that reflect my life exactly as in the poem. :)
 
I remember life before captioning. Ever see a hearing person absolutely blow their stack when you keep asking "What did they say?"

Eventually, I stopped asking.
 
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