I do look forward to the Holidays....being the only deafie doesn't bother me too much around family as it does around friends or at parties w/strangers....Thanksgiving will be at my house, not sure about Christmas tho'....My pets will get new dresses this year, and look forward to dressing them up...my boys are grown so it's always good to have them all together at my house with their significant others as I don't see them all that much now.
I got a great idea ,,... it MIGHT work as he rewards ingenuity...is write a letter (and post) not email, to Donald Trump . HERE below...
Dear Donald Trump,
I write this letter to express my formal request to receive an sample of that gold-leaf toilet paper for thanks giving. This would symbolize a true meaning of thanks-giving sharing, particularly with this delicate combination of wealth and toiletry aids. You, Donald Trump as a representative of American success and that I, represent as an American citizen who have not experienced such unfathomable success as you. I am on the bottom of the earning-chain and that I have been and will remain so as a very loyal stars and stripes loving law abiding American citizen. Can we share a special bond in form of this sharing of this gold-woven roll. My inquest follows to my indictment of which that I have had a very bad year explain all the medical indictments you had)
[[ RR, you fill in the details here, your way but formally as possible also with a dash of emotion , and that you're deaf and can not ever get to experience the softness of gold]]
continued..
To my knowledge that it is a most incredibly malleable natural material ever found by man (yes say man not human he IS a chauvinist) that ONE gram of gold can be stretched to cover a single gram can be beaten into a sheet of 1 square meter , or just over 10.75 square feet!, also it can be can be stretched out to 50 miles per ounce, This must be amazing as a toilet paper, it would prove just how delicately and truly an American softness ever to grace the toilet paper. I would like to seek your kindness to post me a roll of this esteemed item. I would then appreciate something nice and soft to soothe away my tears while to experience something that is real gold. I have never ever seen or felt gold before let alone using it in the Water closet. I do not have a fancy buttock-cleansing toilet so a gold toilet paper are so much preferred. It would also be cheaper than solid gold water-throne.
I would only use one perforated sheets will be used each time the an entry to the comfort station on Thanksgiving day only - every year. I will remember you by every year, while I sit on the bottomless chair.
It would be never be used on any other days of the year. You would appreciate this delicate kindness to share the luxury of daily human excrement duty on that truly American day in a truly American style.
Your Sincerely,
Ann Coulter