What are you thinking about? Part IV

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Thinking about best way apologise, beg forgiveness. Actual begging too much?
 
you said you were pming me so I am waiting.. doesn't need to be discussed in open forum and I gave you an answer
 
Never mind then. I'll PM another mod who I'm more comfortable with. Thanks.
 
deafbajagal said:
I'm so pissed off I can't think straight. As most of you know , a friend in my cancer support group died a few days ago. This death has really hit me hard because she had the same cancer type I did...and she was beginning to be in remission, as I am. Throughout her ordeal, she had minimal support (same as me) and hardly got phone calls or flowers. Now her grave is overflowing with flowers. I want to tell the people that they are too fucking LATE. Wouldn't it have been better if they sent them to her while she was alive and needed something to cheer her up. Seriously, I hate the way people think sometimes.
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:hug:
 
deafbajagal said:
I'm so pissed off I can't think straight. As most of you know , a friend in my cancer support group died a few days ago. This death has really hit me hard because she had the same cancer type I did...and she was beginning to be in remission, as I am. Throughout her ordeal, she had minimal support (same as me) and hardly got phone calls or flowers. Now her grave is overflowing with flowers. I want to tell the people that they are too fucking LATE. Wouldn't it have been better if they sent them to her while she was alive and needed something to cheer her up. Seriously, I hate the way people think sometimes.
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deafbajagal said:
No...her sons were nearby. Wrong time, wrong place. Boy, was it ever so hard to hold my tongue. I think I feel so pissed because I was in her shoes. Not many people called, etc. when I was going through treatments...I also worked and had the kids by myself after work...I can't explain adequately in words how exhausted and how much pain I was in. My own mother in law who lived only a few hours away NEVER called, emailed, or texted me during this period of my life. Yet she managed to take several vacations across the country. My friends disappeared, although I did make new ones who are awesome. I felt alone and was scared shitless. I will NEVER forget it. It wasn't about me...I actually hate eyes on me...but for gods sake at least make sure my kids are okay. They had to learn to do many things independently because there were nights I couldn't even open the peanut butter jar. I guess it brought all of the memories back.
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I TOTALLY get your anger. And you are right to be pissed off. It is so painful that when you're suffering and need help, people avoid you as they don't want to have to deal with your suffering. And that isolation makes the suffering even worse. It's because many people are scared of raw pain that they avoid the suffering person. And it hurts when they can't overcome their discomfort in order to help a friend or relative in need. I remember when I went through an incredibly difficult time, nearly all my friends and family kept their distance. I honestly believe that if I had 'flu or a broken leg instead, I would have got more help and support. This made me mad as when I really needed their support I was abandoned, though they would never admit it. :mad:
 
AJWSmith said:
I TOTALLY get your anger. And you are right to be pissed off. It is so painful that when you're suffering and need help, people avoid you as they don't want to have to deal with your suffering. And that isolation makes the suffering even worse. It's because many people are scared of raw pain that they avoid the suffering person. And it hurts when they can't overcome their discomfort in order to help a friend or relative in need. I remember when I went through an incredibly difficult time, nearly all my friends and family kept their distance. I honestly believe that if I had 'flu or a broken leg instead, I would have got more help and support. This made me mad as when I really needed their support I was abandoned, though they would never admit it. :mad:
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I'm sorry you had to endure such treatment. Hope everything is ok now.
 
I am very aware it on security improve on more update I have think so search find quality!
 
Thinking how many sleeps left come to roadtrip that I look forward to. Espeically the warm tropical weather up in sunny state (Queensland, Australia). Heading up there with my girlfriend (where she is originally from) :cool2:
 
I am pretty tired seems sound hard work level increase!
 
KristinaB said:
Thinking we may start looking for a power scooter for me. You know, like the Hoverround?

Get Information: Hoveround Power Chairs

I am having more and more problems with my legs and the doctor is baffled by it. Went in to the ER today and he was there on call. Still can't find a pain medicine that will work and now I am losing feeling in both legs. I managed to fall while walking across the yard. Luckily, I landed in the grass, but a Sheriff's Officer was driving by and saw. He commented to hubby that he has seen me fall a lot and advised hubby to take me to ER. This officer lives in the neighborhood. Doc thinks it's time for the scooter as he, the 3 neurologists and 2 rheumotologists I have seen can't find a medicine that I am either not allergic to something in it or have developed a resistance to due to previous use. One bad thing with this, MIL's house is not handicapped accessible and doorways are too narrow and bathrooms too small.

Oh joy!! :(
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This is not good Kristina! I'm worried for you! I sure hope your new house will be fully handicap accessible. When you come visit and you need your Hoveround scooter, I will be more than happy to move furniture around in my apartment so that you will have full access to everything. I hate it when people are inconsiderate of those in power scooters.

I'm also worried that you will fall and break something - namely your arm, leg, or hip. Even worse, you could fall and hurt your head on something. In my experience, concrete hurts the worst.

I wish you MIL was nicer to you and that your family didn't have to see her treat you like dirt. You've been through enough as it is, and you deserve so much better. :)
:hug:
 
It is hoodie weather here! Temps are in the upper 60s and sitting outside made me a bit chilly, but I'm loving it!
 
Dixie said:
It is hoodie weather here! Temps are in the upper 60s and sitting outside made me a bit chilly, but I'm loving it!
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Here too! I actually went for a walk this afternoon and enjoyed it!
 
I am very pretty scared soon coming on funeral I am awkward I knew how feeling!
 
smithtr said:
I am very pretty scared soon coming on funeral I am awkward I knew how feeling!
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Everyone is scared of funerals. It's hard to know what to do and it's very sad.

It won't last that long, and you get to say goodbye to your mother. You will be okay. Don't worry too much.
 
Bottesini said:
Everyone is scared of funerals. It's hard to know what to do and it's very sad.

It won't last that long, and you get to say goodbye to your mother. You will be okay. Don't worry too much.
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I know how feeling high on anxiety fear something I wish hold on touch feeling complication! I have feeling issues pretty hard cope!
 
smithtr said:
I am very pretty scared soon coming on funeral I am awkward I knew how feeling!
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Do not be scared. You will feel many things but accept the feelings. Just remember you and your mother loved each other very much, and it will be okay to cry when you say Goodbye.
 
smithtr said:
I know how feeling high on anxiety fear something I wish hold on touch feeling complication! I have feeling issues pretty hard cope!
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Remember that your whole family is going to feel the same way. Deaths are awful for everybody and even people who cope well in everyday life have terrible anxiety and fear when someone close dies.
 
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