What I am thinking about
I am thinking about how odd I must be. To expect friends to understand what I have been thru and make an effort not to hurt me. Of course they always apologize, but most of my close friends know the path I walk is not an easy one. Recently I had to make a decision because I came to a Y on my path. I chose and moved on, happy, singing..big smile on my face. Then I discovered that, to my surprise, just how ppl are so very different then me.
I believe this is a learning path. After anticipating an offer to share my body and spirit I realized the person I had chosen, although extremely intelligent and kind and all the things that would make them worthy, still could not be satisfied with just me. Just Me. I know many deaf have feelings of being isolated at times. So texting, emails and other technological means offer a wonderful way to stay in touch. I decided that my close friend, that's what I am to them, they say...Is happier maintaining a longterm friend relationship consisting of text and emails every few days and in the past a lunch. I am not a jealous person, I see it simply..either you see in me the person that I am or you don't. I fear that all my efforts to explain to my friend why ppl do not maintain long term relationships unless they are getting something out of it..emotional support, money, sex, lots of different things. It remains that they want this and who am I to say no? just a close friend...laughing...things are complicated to me now, I am having problems again (Darn Brain) retaining information. I have headaches, that had long been gone. Oh well...I will be who I am. and if that means Just Me..then
so be it. I am not needy, lol, and I do not wish to change my way of living simply because another person, feels happier with this other close friend in their life...I decided this morning, not to decide anything..smile..Let It Be
Midnight..♥♥♥
