Wedding Ring

K

Kalista

New Member
Premium Member
Joined
May 20, 2003
Messages
7,926
Reaction score
4
Last Saturday, I went to Deaf Expo which was my first Deaf socialize since my husband passed away. It was a good for me to get out of the house with my son. Whoa ! There were approximately over 300 people attend the New England Deaf Expo in Worcester, Massachusetts.

My old classmates from high school and colleges were wondering what is my marital status. It was kinda of awkward for me to reply their questions because they recongized my wedding rings on my finger.

I do wonder if everyone (who are the widows) wear their wedding band still. I find myself reluctant to take it off yet I also find that strangers will often ask me about my husband when they see my ring. I hate having to say my husband passed away and get further questions stemming from that. However, I am really not ready to remove them because those rings are very special to me when Andrew purposal me the engagement on Valentine's Day. It was so special romanic evening for me.

Unbelievable, they heard about my husband's news. They hardly said those things to me because they were afraid that I may into emotional or upset. Andrew emphasized me a week before he died. He really wanted me to be strong as much as I can. I give myself permission to grieve, to cry, to laugh, to have fun, to be mad, to do almost everything I need to do to get through life. I am finding that it is worth it. Andrew wanted me to be happier and move on with my life which is very difficult for me and the boys.

I had to go on dates or social and didn't want anyone to assume I was married. I recently started a new date and I still feel the same way. I just don't want people to assume I'm married and say something where I have to explain. I just don't want to talk about it with these new people. However, I honestly I eluctantly will put them back on, like was said on this string, it just doesn't feel right. When the right time, I will figure out what I will do with my wedding rings. I may go to the jewlrey to talk with someone to get something design. So, I can wear them forever.

Otherwise, I do miss my husband very much, he is so special man ever I had. I need to move on with my life. Glad, I saw my old friends because I have not seen them since 20 to 25 years.

I love my wedding rings very much, I did not know what I shall do with them. I loved being married to him...I would still be happily married to him if he was here...and I really do believe that we are soulmates and it just feels right to keep them on. Everyone has the right to make her own decision on this very personal matter and it bugs me when people give me that odd look about it.
 
yea i undy how ur feeling abt that.. if i were u, i will keep the ring on ring hand so keep this in my life and wont get off since it special to me.. IF IF IF my hubby pass away, i know it will take while til i feel ready move to right hand so no one will bug me abt that.. and IF they ask me if i have date or married, i will tell them that my hubby passed away but he still in my heart no matter what.. if they say sowwy not mean to and i will say not worry that ok.. hugs hugs tight!
 
u have right to wear your wedding rings. he is your husband who you love so dearly.

no one can tell u what to do with the rings. when u are ready to move on or whatever.. it is you who make a decision what to do with the rings. when u are ready to move on with ur life then u can take ur rings off.. but i dont see why u cant keep them as it was special gift from ur hubby and its a grand idea to put it in necklace or something. im sure you will come up with it eventually. if someone tell u what to do with them.. dont listen to them. they are your gift, period! its a gift from Andrew and he want you to cherish it always.. :)

my stepdad passed away 2 yrs ago.. my mom still wear wedding ring. she still love him so much as he was her childhood sweetheart and they did together alots when they were young then he joined army and they lost touch. Finally they saw each other in 1991 and got married and they have been together ever since... then he died of prostate cancer 2 yrs ago..

if i married someone and he died.. i would still keep rings cuz he was my husband and want to cherish it as it is sentimental. so i dont care if anyone think its crazy idea but they havent gone thru the experience like you did with Andrew so keep wearing them till you are ready and decide what u want to do with it then put on necklace or whatever.. i dont want to see u pressured by others say he is dead.. move on.. no they are not YOU. ok.. :) :hug:
 
Kalista,

Remember, what other people think does not matter. It's what YOU feel is right that is important :) If you want to continue to wear the rings, go for it. Just because he passed doesn't mean he is not in your thoughts anymore. He'll always hold a special place in your heart :)
 
My Dad was passed away when I was 12 years old then My mom took his ring to her finger with diamond rings for over 15 years. When my mom passed away, and she wanted me kept her diamond rings and give Dad's ring to my sister now :)
 
Same here, if I were you, I will keep my wedding ring on my hand until I am decrease.

:hmm:
 
You follow your heart about want wear it or not. Noone can tell you what do.
 
I say do what your heart feels. If you want to leave them on, then leave them on. You can also put them on the other hand or on another finger. Or you can put them on a neckless.

Your new guy also needs to understand how you feel and that is why you can't give those rings up. If a guy cares for you and knows you, he will not push the thoughts of your late hubby into the trash. He be there to support you, and help you.

If other ppl asking you about the whole, are you married and how it happened bothering you, then just tell them that your hubby has passed away and you not ready to talk about it. All they need to know, is that you are a widow. Ppl should still have the respect to leave it at that.

Another thing you can do, is get a sign that can hang off your neck. Have the whole story writen on it. That way, someone asks, you can just show them the sign, or just hit them with it, since they where to stupid to look at it before. Sorry, I had to put this side in too.
 
Handsome_Smiley said:
I say do what your heart feels. If you want to leave them on, then leave them on. You can also put them on the other hand or on another finger. Or you can put them on a neckless.

Your new guy also needs to understand how you feel and that is why you can't give those rings up. If a guy cares for you and knows you, he will not push the thoughts of your late hubby into the trash. He be there to support you, and help you.

If other ppl asking you about the whole, are you married and how it happened bothering you, then just tell them that your hubby has passed away and you not ready to talk about it. All they need to know, is that you are a widow. Ppl should still have the respect to leave it at that.

Another thing you can do, is get a sign that can hang off your neck. Have the whole story writen on it. That way, someone asks, you can just show them the sign, or just hit them with it, since they where to stupid to look at it before. Sorry, I had to put this side in too.
Click to expand...

Yes excatly... I have not decide what I will do with my wedding rings. I know, Andrew is around with me forever until I die. We will be reunite someday.

Thanks for your positive feedback !
 
If I was you...
In my position with my fiancee now. Soon to be husband...
If anything in the world EVER happened to him and I lost him...

I wouldn't be able to live... let alone EVER take off my ring.
This is just my opinion but...

My ring would be on my finger until the day I die.
And I would NEVER look at another man...

When you love someone with all your heart enough to marry them...
That is your ONE true love.
And there is only one true love for everyone person on Earth...
And no other man can take that place... in my eyes.

My ring would become a treasure... And if any man EVER asked me,
"Are you single? I see a ring, but no man."


My reply would be, "No. Im married."

Forever and ever until death do me part.
 
Hey Kalista...

I agree with many of the other AD members here.

Andrew did show that felt the same way about you from the way he talked about u when he was here in MD. I'll bet he would have done the same if the roles were reversed.

The idea of adding a design or more stones on it so u can wear it forever sounds like a great one.
 
shel90 said:
Hey Kalista...

I agree with many of the other AD members here.

Andrew did show that felt the same way about you from the way he talked about u when he was here in MD. I'll bet he would have done the same if the roles were reversed.

The idea of adding a design or more stones on it so u can wear it forever sounds like a great one.
Click to expand...
Sorry, that is one thing I don't agree with. Yes, it would be a good idea to add a design or more stones, but her ring is from her late husband. To me, it would be more of a disrespect to her late husband. That was given in the vows between her and her late husband till death due them apart.

If Andew wants to do something to the ring, it might be meant out of good intentions, but can also look as if in disrespect to your late husband.

Your late husband loved you and you loved him. Wanted the best for both. Even though the ring is a little thing, it still part of that vow, and it symbols thoses vows. To me, if you or Andew changes the ring for a new marriage, it displaces your fisrt set of vows. Even though you guys offered the best to each other, with Andew changing the ring, it like saying the ring wasn't good enough in your 1st vows.

I hope I didn't hurt anyones fellings, but that the reason I feel that is wrong. I might also just blowing smoke and not knowing what I am talking about, since this is my 1st and only marriage.
 
Handsome_Smiley said:
Sorry, that is one thing I don't agree with. Yes, it would be a good idea to add a design or more stones, but her ring is from her late husband. To me, it would be more of a disrespect to her late husband. That was given in the vows between her and her late husband till death due them apart.

If Andew wants to do something to the ring, it might be meant out of good intentions, but can also look as if in disrespect to your late husband.

Your late husband loved you and you loved him. Wanted the best for both. Even though the ring is a little thing, it still part of that vow, and it symbols thoses vows. To me, if you or Andew changes the ring for a new marriage, it displaces your fisrt set of vows. Even though you guys offered the best to each other, with Andew changing the ring, it like saying the ring wasn't good enough in your 1st vows.

I hope I didn't hurt anyones fellings, but that the reason I feel that is wrong. I might also just blowing smoke and not knowing what I am talking about, since this is my 1st and only marriage.
Click to expand...

Oh nooooo not change the ring for a new marriage!!! That would be so wrong! I meant that if someone remarries but dont want to stop wearing the ring, they can add a design representing their late spouse and put it on a necklace or on another finger.
 
Smiley, this is getting messed up...Andrew was her husband.
 
shel90 said:
Oh nooooo not change the ring for a new marriage!!! That would be so wrong! I meant that if someone remarries but dont want to stop wearing the ring, they can add a design representing their late spouse and put it on a necklace or on another finger.
Click to expand...

That is correct. Other guy feels uncomfortable to seeing me wear those wedding rings when I date with him. It makes him feel that I am still married.
 
My Grandma was widower when my grandfather died at 52 of heart attack, she still wore the ring on her third finger left hand for 30 more years until she died.

My sister used Grandma's wedding ring for her own wedding!
 
shel90 said:
Wow, almost a year. How is his mom doing?
Click to expand...

She is busy with teacher four class this semester. She will be visiting me for my 50th birthday in Dec. We will be going to Boston. She can't wait to seeing my new condo.
 
Sorry, I just was not sure who Andew was. It just sounded like Andew was a guy, not the late husband.

I asked my wife what she would do. She said she would leave it on her left hand till she dies. And if a guy she dating don't like it or whatever, he has to live with it.
 
Back
Top