Was I rude?

[dorothybaez]

I have had a horrible case of the flu for about 2 weeks now. No HA's due to sinus congestion and earaches. A friend called me on the phone. This is a guy who is hard for me to understand on a good day with HA's.

Because I have been flat on the couch, I didn't suggest that I call him back using captioning service. Even on a good day, it's hard to get a word in edgewise, anyway.

I said several times to him, "I cannot hear you. My ears are clogged. I do not have my hearing aids in." He just kept talking. Blah blah blah.

So finally I just said, "Can't hear you. I'll call you next week. Bye!" Click.

I feel like this might have been rude. So I'm asking for opinions......

 

[Bottesini]

Seems honest. Maybe he did not understand that you really can't hear him until you hung up.

 

[dorothybaez]

Until recently, I would not have hung up, but would have just played along. I've gotten accustomed to the idea of saying, "No, just email me, send me a text message, but don't call me."

Maybe he really didn't get it, but I admit I get ticked off easily when I think my communication needs are ignored. Once, I tried to get my son to slow down so I could lip read him, and his response was, "Oh, you're fine." My answer was not pretty.

Maybe I'm just paranoid about being rude.....

 

[Bebonang]

You have a right to be rude if it is a disadvantage with your hearing loss because hearing friends or people don't understand why you can not hear at all especially if you have hearing aid. Yeah, most hearing people don't get it. You will learn more about deaf perspective from us and will help you how to understand your deafness without being ashame of it.

As for captioning service, you are talking about TDD (Teletypewriter Device for the Deaf) and when you are calling a third person to relay a messages between you and your friend. It is call Bell Relay Service for the Deaf or other relay service like Sprint. You will get the hang of getting special devices for the deaf.

So don't worry about your paranoid of being deaf. You are doing great.

 

[deafskeptic]

I think the hearing people were rude to you for ignoring your requests to make communication easier for you. I think your reactions were not out of place.

 

[LDNanna]

Yeah, what the others above said! You were certainly not rude. May I also suggest that you simply not answer the phone as a general rule?

I have a friend who is late deaf like me. My husband wants to talk to her husband on the phone, soooo, my friend will answer the phone.... she can hear the ring but not the voice. It is very frustrating. "Hello, hello, I cant hear you!'' then she hangs up. lol

I will bet that others assume that you can hear them if you answer the phone.

Just a guess mind you...

The friends can email, text, use vp, i711, or other method. We are so fortunate to have so many other options for communication.

Good luck and hope you are feeling much better now.

 

[dorothybaez]

You have a right to be rude if it is a disadvantage with your hearing loss because hearing friends or people don't understand why you can not hear at all especially if you have hearing aid. Yeah, most hearing people don't get it. You will learn more about deaf perspective from us and will help you how to understand your deafness without being ashame of it.

Oh, I am definitely not ashamed! No worries there!

As for captioning service, you are talking about TDD (Teletypewriter Device for the Deaf) and when you are calling a third person to relay a messages between you and your friend. It is call Bell Relay Service for the Deaf or other relay service like Sprint. You will get the hang of getting special devices for the deaf.

It's phonecaption.com. It's been a wonderful service because I can use the hearing I still have.

So don't worry about your paranoid of being deaf. You are doing great.

Thanks!

I think the hearing people were rude to you for ignoring your requests to make communication easier for you. I think your reactions were not out of place.

Thanks for that.

Yeah, what the others above said! You were certainly not rude. May I also suggest that you simply not answer the phone as a general rule?

I use the phone in my work, so that's not an an option. Normally, I have my hearing aids, plus the Phone Caption things, so I do okay. I was just too sick to benefit from those things.

I have a friend who is late deaf like me. My husband wants to talk to her husband on the phone, soooo, my friend will answer the phone.... she can hear the ring but not the voice. It is very frustrating. "Hello, hello, I cant hear you!'' then she hangs up. lol

I will bet that others assume that you can hear them if you answer the phone.

Just a guess mind you...

OMG! I guess people would assume that! I never thought of it that way!

But, the conversation I originally posted about, the phone was brought to me so there was no graceful way to get out of it.

The friends can email, text, use vp, i711, or other method. We are so fortunate to have so many other options for communication.

Good luck and hope you are feeling much better now.

I'm so glad to have all my options for talking with people....But it's also nice to take the hearing aides out at the end of the day and be grateful for the quiet!

Yes, I'm much better! I'm up and around a bit now...it just slammed me this year!

Thanks to everybody who replied!

 

[whatdidyousay!]

No you were not rude, your friend was rude for going on talking when you told him you did not feel good and could not hear him. I guess he like to heard himself talk! I hop you'll feel better soon! Can you turn off the phone ringers until you feel well enough to talk and can hear better?

 

[Loghead]

I do not think you were being rude. I have done the same... You don't have hearing aids on and answer the phone accidentally. "I'm sorry, I have no idea what you're saying... I'm going to hang up now... whoever you are." I typically don't bother answering the phone unless I have my two hearing aids in and can use the loud phone.

Another thing to add, you had asked them to text you or email you and they should have respected that. They should have thought to have done that before calling you. I ask my friends not to call my cell period because I have to use speaker phone, and even with that I have difficulty fully comprehending. I have one friend who calls it at least once a week and usually every 10 or so seconds I find myself saying "I have no idea what you're saying." He doesn't get mad. Hey, he knew it was coming.

 

[Miss-Delectable]

You've had every right to hang up. Heck, you've even warned him beforehand. It's his bad because he wasn't considerate.

 

[ladysolitary85]

Texting is a wonderful thing many times I prefer it. But no you weren't rude, you made your point a few times so you had to be blunt. I would of done the same.

 

[matajan]

Why friends want to email but not call?

If deaf call hearing friend through relay at work or home, why it is rude?

 

[MsCDukes]

Honestly, I just don't think he got it. People who hear have very little understanding of what it is like to NOT be able to hear. For some reason they think that if you can speak you can hear.
Anyways, if it were me, and he/she were my friend I would probably give him/her a call and say, "hey, how are you? been thinking about you.. but have been sick". "Sorry I had to cut out of the conversation last week, but I just couldn't make out anything you were saying." I actually think that what you did might have made him/her think about the situation a little and he/she might just get it a little better than before. Other thing, even when hearing people do get it, they forget quickly and have to be reminded.
It's just that way I think.