Walking on cracked eggshells

I don't mind helping a friend. But if they ask a difficult question I feel they should be open for suggestions. If not then I tell them to do what they think it is best. You can lead a horse to water, but you can not make it drink.
 
Hear Again said:
i know. i used to have a best friend who was the same way. she was miserable all of the time and very insecure. i finally had to make the difficult decision to end our friendship because i could no longer take it anymore. as you know, i suffer from bipolar and one thing my tdoc suggested i do is to remove everyone in my life who acts as a trigger for my depression (mainly those who are overly concerned with how others view them). this best friend was certainly a trigger, so inasmuch as i wanted to continue being her friend, i could no longer afford to have her affecting my moods due to her behavior.
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I cant end my friendship with her. We have been best friends since we were 18 months old. She didnt used to be like that..being a housewife and in the hearing world 24/7 for over 10 years is destroying her self-esteem.
 
Babyblue said:
I don't mind helping a friend. But if they ask a difficult question I feel they should be open for suggestions. If not then I tell them to do what they think it is best. You can lead a horse to water, but you can not make it drink.
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Right and I have learned that the hard way by exhausting every effort to give advice to my friend but no action was taken so I just backed off. I am blunt with her though whenever she askes me for advice. Not gonna walk on eggshells with her anymore and she seems to appreciate it.
 
"Care about people's approval and you will be their prisoner."
Tao Te Ching


:cool2:
 
shel90 said:
I cant end my friendship with her. We have been best friends since we were 18 months old. She didnt used to be like that..being a housewife and in the hearing world 24/7 for over 10 years is destroying her self-esteem.
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i completely understand, you know shel, there might be a chance that she could change. one of my best friends used to be depressed constantly while we were growing up. every time she called me on the phone, she was either crying or complaining about something that made her angry. however, over the years she has turned into a confident, well adjusted, respectable, compassionate adult. i'm so glad i hung in there and didn't give up on our friendship because this person happens to be one of the few people i'm extremely close to. (we've been best friends for the past 27 years.)
 
shel90 said:
Right and I have learned that the hard way by exhausting every effort to give advice to my friend but no action was taken so I just backed off. I am blunt with her though whenever she askes me for advice. Not gonna walk on eggshells with her anymore and she seems to appreciate it.
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this is exactly the same approach i took with the friend i mentioned in an earlier post. unfortunately, she was the kind of person who would readily agree with my advice, but would never take it. oh well.
 
i nearly got it all mixed up about a book discussing BDP, Stop walking on eggshells" note you didnt say "Stop".. so yah when i checked the net, though great book -really.
Hmm i sort dunno what you mean Liza...care to exlpain abit more? whats the reaction people give you? cuz everyone somewhat drifted off without us really knowing what's going on for you Liza... :)
 
Babyblue said:
I don't mind helping a friend. But if they ask a difficult question I feel they should be open for suggestions. If not then I tell them to do what they think it is best. You can lead a horse to water, but you can not make it drink.
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Precisely. I'm the same way too - I'm more than happy to help a friend out in his/her hour of need. It takes one to have an open mind to see it from both sides rather than only 'hoping' to hear what you really need. It does not always work like that.
 
Hear Again said:
this is exactly the same approach i took with the friend i mentioned in an earlier post. unfortunately, she was the kind of person who would readily agree with my advice, but would never take it. oh well.
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I have learned that we cannot force people to change but we can only change ourselves and our approaches.
 
Mrs Bucket said:
I have learned that we cannot force people to change but we can only change ourselves and our approaches.
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...which is why i had to make the unfortunate decision to end our friendship. maybe someday we can renew our friendship, but only time will tell.
 
Jolie77 said:
Precisely. I'm the same way too - I'm more than happy to help a friend out in his/her hour of need. It takes one to have an open mind to see it from both sides rather than only 'hoping' to hear what you really need. It does not always work like that.
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Exactly!

Some people do it to just complain or for attention.
 
Yeah, I'm an "egg breaker" too. I do think there's an adult way to do it (as opposed to just being childish about it), but I've always thought that I'd rather have someone not like me for who I am then like me for someone I'm not.
 
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lsfoster said:
Yeah, I'm an "egg breaker" too. I do think there's an adult way to do it (as opposed to just being childish about it), but I've always thought that I'd rather have someone not like for who I am then like me for someone I'm not.
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Exactly! No sense in "pretending" or simply telling the person what they want to hear.
 
lsfoster said:
Yeah, I'm an "egg breaker" too. I do think there's an adult way to do it (as opposed to just being childish about it), but I've always thought that I'd rather have someone not like for who I am then like me for someone I'm not.
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same here. i don't like having "artificial" friendships.
 
Babyblue said:
Yes. Especially when they ask something and you try to be honest. The answer that you give is NOT what they want.
But they asked! So it is a lose lose situation.
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Yup. :)

Liza said:
Yep It just aint pleasant to discuss with someone like that.
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That's the reason why I put some on ignored, I just don't have time for that kind of BS. :lol:
 
Cheri said:
That's the reason why I put some on ignored, I just don't have time for that kind of BS. :lol:
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that's what i've done as well. there's no sense in debating with people who refuse to have a contructive discussion.
 
Hear Again said:
i'm the kind of person who likes being real. i don't like people who beat around the bush, sugar coat things or walk on eggshells to avoid hurting someone's feelings. sometimes i'm a little too direct, but in all honesty, i think people appreciate that more than fake emotions.
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I have to agree.

Which is why I get banned easily. Oh well.

And some things just piss me off to where a response is coming no matter what.
 
Ehhh....depends on the situation and who the individual is.

Some people can handle the truth, some can't.
 
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