Vent ~ Give me some ideas how to handle this.
- Thread starter RainGurl
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wow, I agree that it´s rude...
If you want to value your friendship with her.
Simple is: when I were you...
Serve the plates for you, your kids, your friend & her kids on the table... To thank her in friendly way for bring snack to share with us. It would make your friend feel bad / also ambarrass her as well for think herself, not think to share something with you & your kids because she is being invite to visit your house as guest. Sure, she will say sorry to you for her manner behavior then she will improve her mistake next time... It works mostly and reduce stress...
If it doesn´t work then you will know for sure that she is not a friend but rude and disrespect.
If you want to value your friendship with her.
Simple is: when I were you...
Serve the plates for you, your kids, your friend & her kids on the table... To thank her in friendly way for bring snack to share with us. It would make your friend feel bad / also ambarrass her as well for think herself, not think to share something with you & your kids because she is being invite to visit your house as guest. Sure, she will say sorry to you for her manner behavior then she will improve her mistake next time... It works mostly and reduce stress...
If it doesn´t work then you will know for sure that she is not a friend but rude and disrespect.
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:jaw: i wonder if that person is same person I spoke of..SAME thing.. she brought kids over .. and will pick up around 9pm-10pm.. but she tend to come around 12am-1am.. (all the times at the most of times).. I was so furious.... I told her many times, be on time or let them sleep over.. she always get her way.. "oh deafies always tendcy late or delay" I said so what.. look at the time, if its time to go.. GO" she always making excuses.. I feel bad for the kids for not getting good sleep.. so our kids were too..
I noticed some mothers are like that.. they dont have the mother instincts ... like "feel that kids come first and they need better sleep or enviorments".. some mothers think things come first than kids.. its sad.. anyway I am glad that I am done with those mothers are like that.. because it effected our kids.. and me..
between 9pm and 1am...
I would not open the door when I were you...What a stupid, she said to you... "deafies..........late or delay..." *shake my head* I would consider her as immature.
Well Reba, I know she bugs me but I do love her. She is a great friend. I know we have issues.
Actually yesterday was a major break through. She walked in the door and as soon as she walked in her 5 year old started to whine.
She begs me to tell her why she does it when she is around, and not when I am watching them. I told her well I think you give in to her whining so now she knows that you will do exactly what she demands.
I was cooking dinner when she came back to drop off the little one. Her 5 year old lied and told her she never had anything to eat today. I told her that it was NOT acceptable to lie. That I did feed her. Even my girls were shocked. Then she complained that she was starving. I said I am making dinner right now. It'll be ready in 20 mins. She kept whining at her Mom, over and over and over. Her mom told her it was enough, and put her on a time-out. She resisted but Mom was firm.
Our visit (as short as it was) was a very PLEASANT one!
I told her, it was a start...and parenting is hard enough without having little issues made to be big ones.
So, I am pretty happy with the situation now. I told her how I felt about the food and her snapping at my girls. She apologized and will respect my feelings on it.
So it pays to work it out. I know sometimes it doesn't get resolved immediately but it's worth a try. I don't give up on people just like that.
As for the times...I don't mind as long as the girls are behaving. She came at 9:30pm lastnight. Her little one had already had a bath and was sleeping. All the girls were watching a movie (Peter Pan) having a snack. After she picked them up everyone went to bed.
So it was very considerate of her to come earlier than what she had said.
So I really didn't need to say anything about it. She did that one on her own.
Actually yesterday was a major break through. She walked in the door and as soon as she walked in her 5 year old started to whine.
She begs me to tell her why she does it when she is around, and not when I am watching them. I told her well I think you give in to her whining so now she knows that you will do exactly what she demands.
I was cooking dinner when she came back to drop off the little one. Her 5 year old lied and told her she never had anything to eat today. I told her that it was NOT acceptable to lie. That I did feed her. Even my girls were shocked. Then she complained that she was starving. I said I am making dinner right now. It'll be ready in 20 mins. She kept whining at her Mom, over and over and over. Her mom told her it was enough, and put her on a time-out. She resisted but Mom was firm.
Our visit (as short as it was) was a very PLEASANT one!
I told her, it was a start...and parenting is hard enough without having little issues made to be big ones.
So, I am pretty happy with the situation now. I told her how I felt about the food and her snapping at my girls. She apologized and will respect my feelings on it.
So it pays to work it out. I know sometimes it doesn't get resolved immediately but it's worth a try. I don't give up on people just like that.
As for the times...I don't mind as long as the girls are behaving. She came at 9:30pm lastnight. Her little one had already had a bath and was sleeping. All the girls were watching a movie (Peter Pan) having a snack. After she picked them up everyone went to bed.
So it was very considerate of her to come earlier than what she had said.
So I really didn't need to say anything about it. She did that one on her own.
LuciaDisturbed
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That is NO excuse...geez, not acceptable.
It's a shame how some parent's just don't get it. Where is the courtesy here? First of all, you invite her over, and I am taking this as she has been your friend for years? At one point or another, you must have told her that your daughter is allergic to ice cream. So now this gives your friend the right to allow her daughter to bring ice cream over the house? No!!! Especially, when everyone knows how children love ice cream, and now your daughter must be feeling so "left out" because she cannot have any ice cream due to her allergies. You received some very good advice from AD members, and advice that you should follow through with. This friend of your's needs another reminder, that courtesy should be extended in your home, and respect is needed where your children are concerned, especially when food is taken over to your home and cannot be shared by your children. Where is the common sense here with this friend of your's?
Another thing, it seems like one of her daughter's who likes to be the bully to your daughter, is a copy cat role from her mom. Your friend needs to stay out of your children's business, and watch what she says in your home. Certain things that are said can hurt your children, and that's not acceptable in your home, and she needs to be told this, but, the way your friend behaved with your daughter, gave her daughter the right to treat your middle one the exact same way. Her daughter feeds off her own mother's attitude, which your friend needs to watch.
Yes, you definitely need to talk to her. This is upsetting your and stressing you out. Your family comes first as MsGiglz said, not your friends.
Go for it, get it out of your system and feel better that you did face your friend and tell her how you feel.
Then go have a drink!
