Vent ~ Give me some ideas how to handle this.

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RainGurl

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Yesterday I invited my friend over, we actually waited a few hours for her to come since she had to take her kids to the drs. Well she finally came and with her she and her kids brought ice cream from McDs! My girls were so upset, and ofcourse my lil one is allergic to ice cream . I felt like it was extremely rude that she should have eatten it at McDs before she came here. My girls had to watch them eat it

I am not sure what to do anymore? Should I talk to her? Tell her how it makes me feel?

Her daughter (5) always cries and whines and it drives me insane. Every little thing she whines about her mom comes and involves herself in the situation between the girls. I told her I have 3 girls, we don't get involved in their swabbles. They can work it out themselves. If there is something serious then we intervine. But every time her daughter cries it's a crisis. The one time my daughter said she was going to do something, but she didn't. (You know how kids can be?) Her daughter came out saying I don't like that! She needs to say sorry. So my friend decided to pack up and go, this lil girl turned around and said I am NOT LEAVING UNTIL SHE SAYS SORRY.

I am not sure how to deal with it anymore.

Any suggestions. This is the first for me. I have never had a child that I didn't like and clearly I am having very hard time dealing with her. Espeically when she attacks my middlest ALL the time. Her mom even attacked my oldest saying that she was very badly behaved. I know my oldest may have a bit of an attitude but I know why...they are expected to clean and yet her daughters can get away with everything. My daughter is 8, she isn't stupid...and even brought them home when they were suppose to have a sleepover. My oldest goes, I wanted to go home anyways.

I am not sure how to put to her that she has some issue with her kids, and they need to be resolved because it makes it difficult for us to even have a friendship. She even snapped at my daughter telling her that EXCUSE ME YOU INTERUPTED ME! My middlest was shocked, she was like uhm I am sorry, go ahead. My friend said I FORGET NOW THAT IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU INTERUPT PEPOLE! I was like wow. She is 6 not 21.

Again my daughter probably thought she was done talking, since there was a "pause" she is hard of hearing just like my friend and I are. She didn't need to be so rude about it.

I know I am venting away...help me to come up with solutions to make our friendship better.
 
Hummmmmmmmm I thought I told you before about her situation with her kids for not cleaning up. Tell her to meet somewhere in public and explain the situation about how you feel. Dont bottle it up inside of ya. In the meantime dont invite her over cuz things will not improve unless she smarten up with her kids.
 
I was just like you before... about 6 years ago.. this friend have no respect for me and our kids... this friend always bring her kids to bring something like MCD or foods or junk foods.. to stop by, my kids were upset because they want some.. after few years suffering with this friend's disrespect or not treat us right, always tell us what to do.. plus other few friends are like that..
so i decided to set up bountries and stand up.. speak out to them.. If you want to stop by.. call first.. and dont bring snackies or food front of our kids.. If you do.. you will be walking out of door till you learn respect first..

so i lost friends over that.. friends dont come first.. my kids come first, because they dont need to be mistreat or emotions on rollercoaster.. till i found some good friends who are respect.. :)

(of course they will go backstab or saying I dont provided snacks to their children.. what are they expecting if they stop by unexpected with our food are on low.. I had to pinch little.. veggies or etc.. will do enough but expected us to feed whole meal unless there's planned :roll: )
 
MsGiglz said:
I was just like you before... about 6 years ago.. this friend have no respect for me and our kids... this friend always bring her kids to bring something like MCD or foods or junk foods.. to stop by, my kids were upset because they want some.. after few years suffering with this friend's disrespect or not treat us right, always tell us what to do.. plus other few friends are like that..
so i decided to set up bountries and stand up.. speak out to them.. If you want to stop by.. call first.. and dont bring snackies or food front of our kids.. If you do.. you will be walking out of door till you learn respect first..

so i lost friends over that.. friends dont come first.. my kids come first, because they dont need to be mistreat or emotions on rollercoaster.. till i found some good friends who are respect.. :)

(of course they will go backstab or saying I dont provided snacks to their children.. what are they expecting if they stop by unexpected with our food are on low.. I had to pinch little.. veggies or etc.. will do enough but expected us to feed whole meal unless there's planned :roll: )
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I agree with MsGiglz....she said it better than I could have!
 
Raingurl, You have to be assertive to be honest to speak your friend over this situation that does make you feel uncomfortable ,
Firstly, If this person is your best friend or just friend that you like to hanging out for chat or visits, Then you have to be strong to speak to her how does you been feeling throughout over this situation. It would be work if you speak to her as honest option what you feel or see it that do not like it. Yet i does to understand it can be hard to not want to upsetting her over this problem what you feel and see it .

Does she know your lil girl can not taking the ice cream due of her allerigic right? .. if so that she just being selfish do not care or just thoughtless of her . but next time if it does happen again you could have to nicely ask her please tell her kids to finish off eat the ice cream outside of your house before they come in .... if she storm off like think she feel not to be welcome to come your house, So that her loss and you do not need her to having a friend like it with no respectable over this situation problem you do not like to see.

Believe me there you will feel better when you speak it with her over this situations. It wouldn't to be any world of good if you keep it in your chest too long because your friend will think that you doesn't have problem with this situation when you think it does

All the best i does hope this will helping sorry if i am or having bit harsh .. because that what person i am i can be very strong and assertive person to be own person . I wouldn't worry if people critize me or hate me or do not like me as i doesn't have got any problem with it and i just get on with my life as long i know who my friends are !.. :)
 
MsGiglz said:
so i lost friends over that.. friends dont come first.. my kids come first, because they dont need to be mistreat or emotions on rollercoaster.. till i found some good friends who are respect
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Exactly. well said there .... :)
 
i am in same stution as yours with my niece who will be 7 this nov she whines all the time crying over little things like "oh i forgot my dollies at home" and one time she caught a frog and then later we had to let it go she whines that she wanna to keep the frog but we told her it was wild not a pet she start to cry over it.

my nephew is getting tired of her whinings it had been out of control for while so she is getting too old for whining over little things

so my nephew and i rolled our eyes and actually ignored her he knows how i feel cuz i feel same ways as he does

so raingurl if i had been having plm with that kind of friend
i would lose the friendship
but i am not telling ya to do that just idea
as i posted my story see above ya not alone in this but she is a family anyway

i know as the story you posted sound so rude of the friends not do anything like take treats over and do something in front as others can't eat that is kind of rude statement
 
Yea, I hear you. She is bringing her over with Subway for lunch...
Grr.. I just get so frustrated..I thought she would have gotten some stuff from the food store..her daughter is really picky and won't eat what I put out. So I tell her to bring something for her.

I just can't win plus I told her 10pm that she is picking up her girls right? She goes well if they fall asleep they can sleep over. I told her no because hubby has been feeling awful lately. He has sezuires so he needs his rest. He said they could come over but not sleep over. Then she goes well it's not like you guys are in bed by 10 anyways..I told her we were in bed by 9:30 that is our bedtime.

I guess I will have to go to McDs and get the girls something to eat now for lunch..I can't have them going without.
 
Why dont you just take a little time apart, just stop answering the phone calls for a while and put the friendship on hold. Its apparently stressing you out, is the friendship really for you or is do you just want your kids to be friends with her kids?
 
It's for all of us really. She is hofh, and so am I. Also her lil one is hofh, two of my girls are hofh. So it's a support.

We both now ASL and what not.

I did what you guys said, I was upfront with her just now. I told her I would prefer if she ate something other than from a food place because my girls get upset that they can't have any. She was fine with that. I have hotdogs so she is gonna pick up the buns and chips.

You guys were right, just be assertive.

I'll remember that from now on...
 
sound alike your friend have none respect you at all and all she want herself...

I can image that how you feel about your kids seeing your friend having nice dessert.. ain't fun..

You have to speak it out your friend directly and where manners?
I would agree w/McGiglz...
and also Opal's comment suitable picture.. sound good!
but it's funny anyway.. (chuckles)
 
Hey Raingurl here there you are .. we sure gladly be helping. Also keep on being assertive person .. yet know we can be distraction from being assertive in time to time ha! ha! that break the rules !!! no harm done to having bend the rules but must to having keep on being assertive to know what right for you...

:hug:
 
RainGurl said:
Yea, I hear you. She is bringing her over with Subway for lunch...
Grr.. I just get so frustrated..I thought she would have gotten some stuff from the food store..her daughter is really picky and won't eat what I put out. So I tell her to bring something for her.

I just can't win plus I told her 10pm that she is picking up her girls right? She goes well if they fall asleep they can sleep over. I told her no because hubby has been feeling awful lately. He has sezuires so he needs his rest. He said they could come over but not sleep over. Then she goes well it's not like you guys are in bed by 10 anyways..I told her we were in bed by 9:30 that is our bedtime.

I guess I will have to go to McDs and get the girls something to eat now for lunch..I can't have them going without.
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:jaw: i wonder if that person is same person I spoke of.. :eek3: SAME thing.. she brought kids over .. and will pick up around 9pm-10pm.. but she tend to come around 12am-1am.. (all the times at the most of times).. I was so furious.... I told her many times, be on time or let them sleep over.. she always get her way.. "oh deafies always tendcy late or delay" I said so what.. look at the time, if its time to go.. GO" she always making excuses.. I feel bad for the kids for not getting good sleep.. so our kids were too..

I noticed some mothers are like that.. they dont have the mother instincts ... like "feel that kids come first and they need better sleep or enviorments".. some mothers think things come first than kids.. its sad.. anyway I am glad that I am done with those mothers are like that.. because it effected our kids.. and me..
 
MsGiglz said:
:jaw: i wonder if that person is same person I spoke of.. :eek3: SAME thing.. she brought kids over .. and will pick up around 9pm-10pm.. but she tend to come around 12am-1am.. (all the times at the most of times).. I was so furious.... I told her many times, be on time or let them sleep over.. she always get her way.. "oh deafies always tendcy late or delay" I said so what.. look at the time, if its time to go.. GO" she always making excuses.. I feel bad for the kids for not getting good sleep.. so our kids were too..

I noticed some mothers are like that.. they dont have the mother instincts ... like "feel that kids come first and they need better sleep or enviorments".. some mothers think things come first than kids.. its sad.. anyway I am glad that I am done with those mothers are like that.. because it effected our kids.. and me..
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I mean we don't even let them sleep over other people's houses inless it's an invitation or grandparents want them to spend the night.

Hubby and I haven't had a "date" persay asking babysitters to keep them overnight.

It's always we pick them up by a certain time.

I am always concious about the girls. I know that my oldest was upset because we had to a party to attend (family) there were NO kids allowed. I gave her my cell number, she called me very hour or so. Other people were like who was that? I told them my oldest. They go don't you find that annoying...I said no, I told her if she wanted to talk to call me. She looks out for her sisters as well, so when I am not there sort of speak she takes over. Which I love because she knows the way we run our house.

She also holds the sitters accountable because she TELLS me what exactly is going on. If something isn't right I can deal with it.

Again it's just me, I have a routine with my girls. My hubby and I if we go actually go out on a date..My mother watches them. I know they are going to be treated well, in bed at a decent hour, etc.
 
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