Upset about being deaf

keep ur chin up, things may look down right now but all in the end will look up for u :)
 
Ta very muchly, matey. I'm sure things will start to look up after he's grown up a bit more and understands things better and in a mature way. You know?
 
I understand what your stepson went through. He has identity crisis because he is "trapped" in hearing world, which his mom wants him to speak like hearing. He has a hard time accepting the fact that he is Deaf.

I went through the same thing cuz I was too vain to recognize myself as a Deaf individual. Ironically, I thought of myself being a "hearing", I was not too happy in my snobbery high school. I even begged my parents to transfer to another school in my hometown because I know my own people. They were friendlier and more understanding where I am coming from whereas idiotic students from my snobbery school did not give a flying fuck about Deaf culture and the like. My parents refused because they knew that school was not accommdated enough for my needs, but I did not care because I can find a way to get education anyway. I was frustrated with my own identity. Years later, my parents finally realized that I was not happy (especially, my mom). I told them too late.. damage was done, period. They gulped afterwards. I will not put the same misery on my own children in the future.

Just after high school, I started to realized that I am indeed DEAF. I wished I should have gotten a "best" Deaf education, where I can able to asborb a rich education in ASL, rather than being a "parrot" for practicing my own damn speech, which I consider the biggest waste of my time. If your speech is not great, do not bother practicing your imprefect speech. Just learn your language and education. Education is itself more worth than just practicing your speech (no offense to other oral Deaf people). I admit that I am happy being an oral failure.
 
Yeah...I just hope that my step son doesn't turn around and get upset with me in not getting him more involved in the deaf community. I have tried, but he has refused to go or I was working the day of the event, so I couldn't take him. :(
At least, I have been talking with him about the deaf community and using sign all the times. See see.
 
Well, an update on this -- the problem with my step son's approach to his deafness -- I can't get it solved as husband and I haven't seen kids for over a month now. Just last week, they called my husband up and informed him that they had disowned him as their father...they don't want to come and visit with us anymore for weekends or any special days such as birthdays, Christmas, Easter and so forth. :(

Oh well, nothing much we can do about it. We're just letting them go for the time being until they've grown up a bit more.
 
WaterRats13 said:
Well, an update on this -- the problem with my step son's approach to his deafness -- I can't get it solved as husband and I haven't seen kids for over a month now. Just last week, they called my husband up and informed him that they had disowned him as their father...they don't want to come and visit with us anymore for weekends or any special days such as birthdays, Christmas, Easter and so forth. :(

Oh well, nothing much we can do about it. We're just letting them go for the time being until they've grown up a bit more.
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Aww Goldie! My heart goes out to you and your husband, and your stepson.... :grouphug: One fortunate thing is that your stepson only has 3 years left until he's 18 and he will be able to make his own decisions instead of having his mother's well intentions dictating his life. If 18 is the law in Oz, that is, to reach the age of decision...
 
dayum im sorry to hear this waterrats u don't deserve that neither does ur hubby that was cruel and i have no doubt that his ex wife has done enuff damages to this, this is very hard for u both and im sorry this happened!
 
Well, we're not planning on doing anything to distrupt anything -- we'll just step out of the picture for a while until things have matured a bit more.
Just found out that the ex wife is expecting possible twins. She's been undergoing IVF treatment as she cannot concieve naturally. :roll: One of the few reasons I can think of WHY she's having more babies at this stage -- money from the government! :roll:
 
WaterRats13 said:
He's 15 and he's been deaf since birth. He has a C.I. -- he knows he's deaf, but he's having trouble accepting the fact and his mother has been trying to make him think he can hear (like a hearing person and being a hearing person). She doesn't sign all that much. When she does, she appears recluntant in using sign. When step son is with me, he signs all the time and loves to sign.
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Hmm, I am starting to remember your problems couple of years ago in the bit.listserv.deaf-L newsgroup. Was that you? I felt like I know you! :)

I'll pm you the url to that thread on deaf-L
 
Boult said:
Hmm, I am starting to remember your problems couple of years ago in the bit.listserv.deaf-L newsgroup. Was that you? I felt like I know you! :)

I'll pm you the url to that thread on deaf-L
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It's possible. I used to subscribe to the bit.listerv.deaf-l newsgroup for a while ago...but since last year, I was unable to access the newsgroup as it was not listed on the approved list of Optus's accepted list, oh well.

Looking forward to your PM about the link and see if it's a post I made years back. :)
 
WaterRats13 said:
It's possible. I used to subscribe to the bit.listerv.deaf-l newsgroup for a while ago...but since last year, I was unable to access the newsgroup as it was not listed on the approved list of Optus's accepted list, oh well.

Looking forward to your PM about the link and see if it's a post I made years back. :)
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:thumb:

you can read and post there in that url I gave you if you sign up.. :)
 
WaterRats13 said:
Well, we're not planning on doing anything to distrupt anything -- we'll just step out of the picture for a while until things have matured a bit more.
Just found out that the ex wife is expecting possible twins. She's been undergoing IVF treatment as she cannot concieve naturally. :roll: One of the few reasons I can think of WHY she's having more babies at this stage -- money from the government! :roll:
Click to expand...
that woman is expecting twins and all for the name of money? i think thats major fraud, i hope u guys can come up with some sort of evidence for that cuz that's like UNBELIVEABLE using the kids for money is just unfrigging unjustifiable! OMG im soo disgusted at that woman's behavior it's totally unfair to the kids espeically when thier at the stage of getting ready to leave the coop AND being * brainwashed and disowning ur hubby like that it's totally wrong! im soo amazed that this hasn't stopped in all aspect! im soo sorry u had to go thru this! Sigh.....
 
oh really, i wonder how much a mother receive $$
from government for that ?

and

TO: WaterRats13....

while i was reading this whole thread,
i became fascinated with this thread
because of many good suggestions/advices
from many people on this thread...

Very good... Since I am NOT a mother myself,
I cannot give you any advice. BUT, I can
tell you my observation I suspect a few things here:

1) I suspect that deaf boy is happy
within himself as a deaf boy, BUT
he is NOT happy only
because of Mother's negative attitude
toward DEAF making him un-happy.

2) I suspect that your husband's ex-wife
is very very intimdated and afraid of you
only because you're obviously
a Good Mother, MUCH better than her....
That's probably why she does NOT
want to lose that deaf boy toward YOU
including any Deaf communities/cultures !!!
That's her biggest Fear.

They are based on my observations
reading this whole thread. Sorry, I cannot
give any advice though.. It's up to you
whether you agree with my views.
 
Hi Y - it could be one of those reasons, but I cannot speculate it any longer because the kids won't talk to either of us. Like I said in my earlier posts that I'm stepping out of the kids' picture until they've matured a bit more and understand the situation better.
Still, all the same, I thank you for what you've suggested and observed in here. Thanks.
 
WaterRats13 said:
Hi Y - it could be one of those reasons, but I cannot speculate it any longer because the kids won't talk to either of us. Like I said in my earlier posts that I'm stepping out of the kids' picture until they've matured a bit more and understand the situation better.
Still, all the same, I thank you for what you've suggested and observed in here. Thanks.
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ok, you're welcome ! good luck.
 
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