Update - no more Mrs. Nice Girl!

You have to understand for me and no prior knowledge of hearing loss - hearing and understanding just happens naturally.

You ask me what I want... I just want him to be able to to understand me.

Yes, I understand understanding also comes from ASL... I get that.

All this backwards lingo really drives me mad... you have to remember this is not 2nd nature to me... 2nd nature is hearing and speaking.

I know Tyler is deaf and I accept that... right now I just want to be able to communicate with him and have him communicate back to me appropriately. Right now it's just a guessing game... what does he hear? what doesn't he hear? Is he signing appropriately?

These are all the questions running through my head!

You want to know what I want from a ci... I want him to be able to get the most that life has to offer. I want him to be as high functioning as possible. I want him to understand me and I want to understand me - and if that includes hearing each other's voices that would be the best gift in the entire world.

Understanding/Hearing - I just want to be able to communicate with him and not have everyone constantly question what is wrong with my child.

So, stop trying to trick me with these double word questions... I don't want to "heal" my child. I want him to have everything possible to help him be the best he can be - ASL or Oral - Deaf or Hearing!
 
Bottesini said:
True. BUt the mother here says she wants to have him understand her speaking and then respond. It would be different if she was willing to use ASL as the communication if he could not understand her speech
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Maybe everyone misunderstood me (again) but I just want Tyler to understand me and respond.

I don't care if it's ASL or Oral... I'd love for him to do both... but I don't care. I'm just trying to give him whatever is necessary - whether its ASL, cochlear, ha's, whatever - I am grasping at straws here people!

You don't know where I am right now... I have absolutely no idea what Tyler understands. Anywhere from here is progress!!!

I am not AGAINST Deaf... my son is Deaf and I'm not wanting to change him! I am wanting to communicate with him. I don't care in what mode! But if he's intitled to a cochlear then by all means, I am getting him on - whether or not I have to re-mortgage my house. And if he learns to listen and speak, awesome... but if he doesn't how are we different from where we are this VERY moment! My 3 year old son barely understands me and I have NO IDEA what he hears.
 
ryancher said:
Maybe everyone misunderstood me (again) but I just want Tyler to understand me and respond.

I don't care if it's ASL or Oral... I'd love for him to do both... but I don't care. I'm just trying to give him whatever is necessary - whether its ASL, cochlear, ha's, whatever - I am grasping at straws here people!

You don't know where I am right now... I have absolutely no idea what Tyler understands. Anywhere from here is progress!!!

I am not AGAINST Deaf... my son is Deaf and I'm not wanting to change him! I am wanting to communicate with him. I don't care in what mode! But if he's intitled to a cochlear then by all means, I am getting him on - whether or not I have to re-mortgage my house. And if he learns to listen and speak, awesome... but if he doesn't how are we different from where we are this VERY moment! My 3 year old son barely understands me and I have NO IDEA what he hears.
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Right now, I would really work on getting him to learn ASL or sign. Show him objects or things, say the word and sign the word. Repeat often, but not so much that he gets frustrated.
ASLPro.com - More Learning Tools

They have a wonderful little program to teach little ones different animals and such in ASL. Get videos for small children from a local library. If there is any hearing, he will eventually (possibly) pick it up, but he will for sure, begin to pick up the signs.
 
Wirelessly posted

Double, sorry!
 
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faire_jour said:
ryancher said:
I'm just happy the Cochlear Unit is going to be reviewing Tyler's info tomorrow. I explained to them his age, lack of speech/language, and urgency for help. Let's hope they are willing to see him again.
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Ok, but you know that even with a CI, since he is so old, it is unlikely that he will become oral only. He is really old and really far behind. The most important thing is to get LANGUAGE into him, and since he isn't hearing well, and understanding, that needs to be signed language. If a child doesn't have fluent language by age 5, they will have long term cognitive and linguistic problems.
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Faire jour, do you really think 3 is too late to truly rewire, cognitively? I know that results are better if implanted younger, but I didn't think the slope began until 4 or 5.
 
Oh yes... like I've said before we are doing signs with him - we have been for the past 2 years but just in the past month or two he has really exploded and has started to use them back. We are soooo pleased!

I know he's getting some sounds - but I just don't know how much - he responds to many simple commands/directions. So, I think he's got some just don't think all or enough to develop language - which is why we are really pushing ASL.

But obviously if he can aquire sounds/speech with a ci - I want to look at that. And if he speaks awesome but if he doesn't and responds by asl that's fine too. I've accepted the fact that he's NOT hearing.
 
I also didn't speak until I was in Kindergarden-1st grade (I was 6 at that time)

my 1st word was Phenonmial (my aunt's friend taught me that word)
 
My daughter did not speak until age 6 or 7. Before that it was grunts or just a single word here and there. Nothing clearly at all and never made sense. Now, at 16 other than a few issues, you would never know she's only been speaking for 9-10 years. She made up for the years without it. She has proven the "professionals" wrong about the early threshold for learning speech. She learned to read at 9.
 
Cherie, I know we have talked and you know I am completely bilingual. I use both languages fluently, and I am completely comfortable in both. I am partial to ASL though, as it is what I deem to be "my" language.

Despite being bilingual and comfortable in both languages, I want to be very clear that I do NOT hear and understand English. I cannot use the telephone (except on bizarre fluctuating hearing loss days) and I cannot understand speech without visual cues. Heck - half the time I can't even understand it with visual cues but I am a darn good guesser. Sometimes I still have no idea though, in which case I fake it. For example, today I ordered lunch - a salad- and when I was paying I was asked "How could I pour fuel on the wheel for you?" I froze for a moment and my mental wheels spun super fast, eyes darting around looking for a clue. I said "No" and then walked away quickly. I had paid so I wasn't concerned.

I also want to say, I have worked with many kiddos. Many of which have understood the signs but the expressive came MUCH later. When it came though - WOW! Just wait and see what happens in the next month or two!
 
ryancher said:
You have to understand for me and no prior knowledge of hearing loss - hearing and understanding just happens naturally.

You ask me what I want... I just want him to be able to to understand me.

Yes, I understand understanding also comes from ASL... I get that.

All this backwards lingo really drives me mad... you have to remember this is not 2nd nature to me... 2nd nature is hearing and speaking.

I know Tyler is deaf and I accept that... right now I just want to be able to communicate with him and have him communicate back to me appropriately. Right now it's just a guessing game... what does he hear? what doesn't he hear? Is he signing appropriately?

These are all the questions running through my head!

You want to know what I want from a ci... I want him to be able to get the most that life has to offer. I want him to be as high functioning as possible. I want him to understand me and I want to understand me - and if that includes hearing each other's voices that would be the best gift in the entire world.

Understanding/Hearing - I just want to be able to communicate with him and not have everyone constantly question what is wrong with my child.

So, stop trying to trick me with these double word questions... I don't want to "heal" my child. I want him to have everything possible to help him be the best he can be - ASL or Oral - Deaf or Hearing!
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The very best way that you can be SURE that he is understanding you is to use ASL. He will be able to understand every single bit of it. There will be no wondering, no misunderstandng. Do you get that? No matter what device he uses he will never be able to understand speech 100%. He will forever miss things, and he is already so far behind. With ASL, the guessing goes away.

As gor the bolded section- Deaf people who hear nothing and speak none are perfectly high functioning. They are lawyers and doctors. Speech and hearing are not connected to brain function.
 
GrendelQ said:
Wirelessly posted



Faire jour, do you really think 3 is too late to truly rewire, cognitively? I know that results are better if implanted younger, but I didn't think the slope began until 4 or 5.
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I have read that they don't catch up if it isn't done before 3, especially if they have not had any language before that. Profoundly deaf since birth, implanted after age 3, being oral only....it's a HUGE risk...
 
I've been noticing lately a lot of intonation with Tyler... but it sounds like he's missing so many consonents if that makes any sense.

So... for all of you late talkers? How do I know if I should just relax, not stress, keep doing ASL, and hope for speech to come in the next couple years? Or do I look into a cochlear? Is my waiting, wasting precious time? (Even though I know it's not a total waste as I am teaching him sign). Make sense?
 
faire_jour said:
I have read that they don't catch up if it isn't done before 3, especially if they have not had any language before that. Profoundly deaf since birth, implanted after age 3, being oral only....it's a HUGE risk...
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A bit confused here with what you mean? Tyler was moderate/severe to severe at birth, hearing aids at 5 months old, signs for the past 2 years as well as constant speech & SLP. I know he's getting some speech (definetely not all but some) so doesn't that give him something?
 
ryancher said:
I've been noticing lately a lot of intonation with Tyler... but it sounds like he's missing so many consonents if that makes any sense.

So... for all of you late talkers? How do I know if I should just relax, not stress, keep doing ASL, and hope for speech to come in the next couple years? Or do I look into a cochlear? Is my waiting, wasting precious time? (Even though I know it's not a total waste as I am teaching him sign). Make sense?
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I would not stress over the late speech. I would just take things as they come and work little by little and eventually he may or may not grasp it. I myself did not talk until after I was 3 and the Psychologist told my parents to send my brothers away for the summer. They spent that summer with my grandparent in Indiana while I stayed in Arkansas with my parents. By the end of summer, I was talking a blue streak as my mother says. It wasn't clear, but I was talking.
 
ryancher said:
A bit confused here with what you mean? Tyler was moderate/severe to severe at birth, hearing aids at 5 months old, signs for the past 2 years as well as constant speech & SLP. I know he's getting some speech (definetely not all but some) so doesn't that give him something?
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It definitely gives him something. It will be more than some kids have had, and it will be less than others. Any advantage will help in the long run. Like I said in a previous post, not all kids who don't have speech skills before age 5 are "doomed" to not learn oral skills. There are some who may never gain the oral skills, and others who will. Yes, they do say that "optimal" time frame for a young child to gain speech or oral skills is between 1-3 I believe. Maybe it 1-5, but still, if Tyler is able to hear a little bit, then that's better than a child born totally deaf and never hears a sound. You had him amplified at a young enough age so that he was able to hear some sounds, but they may not be clear sounds. They might be, but could possibly not be. Only the audiologist could let you know and eventually Tyler when he is able to communicate that to you. In my daughter's case, she says everything sounds "fuzzy". She doesn't hear sounds like you and I used to, but a HA will only amplify the "fuzzy", not clear it up.
 
KristinaB said:
a HA will only amplify the "fuzzy", not clear it up.
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That's characteristic of sensorineural hearing loss. I can promise that amplifying the "fuzzy" has a huge impact on and help on what you can understand.
 
Bottesini said:
That's characteristic of sensorineural hearing loss. I can promise that amplifying the "fuzzy" has a huge impact on and help on what you can understand.
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I know my hearing loss and son's as well as daughter's was SNHL, but son and I did not have the "fuzzy" Daughter had HA's and it was found to make just the "fuzzy" louder and not help her hear the words any better. She just recently (last week) had a new hearing test done. No change from the ones in 2000 and 2006. Son's is a little worse, but not much.

Her speech is somewhat clear now, and when she's real tired she slips and gets real sloppy. It's hard work for her to really work it all right. Her left ear is malformed inside. They are saying that's what's causing her "fuzzy" sounds.
 
KristinaB said:
It definitely gives him something. It will be more than some kids have had, and it will be less than others. Any advantage will help in the long run. Like I said in a previous post, not all kids who don't have speech skills before age 5 are "doomed" to not learn oral skills. There are some who may never gain the oral skills, and others who will. Yes, they do say that "optimal" time frame for a young child to gain speech or oral skills is between 1-3 I believe. Maybe it 1-5, but still, if Tyler is able to hear a little bit, then that's better than a child born totally deaf and never hears a sound. You had him amplified at a young enough age so that he was able to hear some sounds, but they may not be clear sounds. They might be, but could possibly not be. Only the audiologist could let you know and eventually Tyler when he is able to communicate that to you. In my daughter's case, she says everything sounds "fuzzy". She doesn't hear sounds like you and I used to, but a HA will only amplify the "fuzzy", not clear it up.
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I would like to clear something up.

Yes, a person can learn "oral skills" at anytime.

BUT

For a child with a hearing loss to become and stay age appropriate with spoken language through listening...NO, that has to happen at a very young age. If a child is not properly amplified, and learning to listen, and understanding speech through the signal that they receive, their brain becomes permanantly changed. That changing starts very early, but seems to be "reversible" up to a certain age. Right now, the research shows that if a child is implanted before 18 months, it is totally reversible. After that point, it slowly goes down until age 8, when it is pretty clear that the brain does not rewire.

Those are two totally different things. Yes, speech can come at any time, but language through listening can not.
 
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