Turned HOH at 4...yet still discriminated...ah bliss!

D

donotfeedbsugar

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What can I say? I'm the odd person people say. My story starts with:

Discrimination #1 (D#1): Developing meningitis at 4, medicine cured me yet damaged my ears making me HOH. Because I spoke prior, parents felt it best for me to work on my speech and I can learn ASL if I wanted to later. Made attempts to learn in Elementary School but in turn got shunned by teachers and kids because I didn't ALREADY know ASL. So I had to self teach and pick it up along the way but on the upper hand, didn't need it as I was in mainstream schools.

D#2: Because I didn't attend a Deaf College (of course you know...Gallaudet) I was truly berated and shunned by a deaf teacher when I was in HS by my option choices. (unless she was funding for it...I WOULD MOST DEFINITELY GO...)

D#3: Was asked amongst deaf and HOH friends if I were to have a child would I want my child to be deaf or HOH. I said I would want my child to be HEALTHY...but if given the option I would want my child to be hearing. BERATED! (freedom of speech doesn't work in these groups)

D#4: Went to a social deaf meetup and was asked where I was from in terms of residence school and whatnot and that's all fine and good. When it came to marital status I'm like oh I'm taken. Person assumed I had a deaf boyfriend and was shocked to find out that I had a hearing boyfriend and signed vehemently at me that I am not conserving the Deaf Language/Culture...and so on and so on...(all I could do was laugh in shock)

Bottom Line...no matter what I try to do to tap into my 2nd language or culture...I just can't win...SURROUNDED by discrimination. Just an eyeopener for people who feel that they have always seen a hearing person and never a deaf person discriminate.....TRUST...THINK AGAIN!

COMMENTS ARE WELCOME!
 
keep the boyfriend. be proud of your skills. some people suck. no worries. :)
 
yet still...

By your own description of what you have experienced shows you are wiser then you give yourself credit for....I understand..really. Be true to yourself, strive to for the things that bring you joy, you need no ones permission. I went deaf 7 years ago..can not hear a thing, but speak perfectly. Like you I am just trying to live my life. I too went to a "mixer" for the deaf and HOH
and things were great until I spoke while signing...OMG..I was told to stop speaking..well that's never gonna happen unless my creator decides I need yet more challenges. So..my advice is ...understand that some ppl just will never get it....and we owe it to ourselves to make ourselves happy,,smile
hope you still have the boyfriend..take some deep breaths and please do not doubt yourself...I live in MD. am happy to meet you.Peace to you, always
Midnight♥♥♥:wave:
 
Interesting. Its a small community here and many of the deaf people speak and sign. Even at deaf socials there is frequently more speaking than signing, and I know adult deaf couples that speak to each other on occasion rather than sign. I feel ackward signing because ive been told because its just "easier" if I talk to them. Im excited to move to the city for a broader range of experiences.
 
marcyp06 said:
I know adult deaf couples that speak to each other on occasion rather than sign. I feel ackward signing because ive been told because its just "easier" if I talk to them. Im excited to move to the city for a broader range of experiences.
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me too its sad that the Deaf shun CAPD/mild losses(I have both) who are trying to learn sign. The local Deafblind community have been more welcoming
 
:wave:donotfeedbsugar

am sorry you had those experiences...
sometimes people are just....who they are...individuals or small groups of people who have been historically targeted sometimes then have a "backlash" against people perceived as "outsiders".

but again not everyone who is part of a particular community or group is that way, if you are open to it, eventually the universe shows you others.

I have currently a mild loss and auditory processing issues as well as the LD and have not been "cast out" by the local community here; I gone to things and spoken and signed sometimes and have not been reproached. I think much depends on where you are.
 
Thanks to all for your comments. I didn't want to appear to be an ASL/Deaf Basher which I'm not. I'm TRYING to tap into my 2nd culture but despite all that has happened to me it still doesn't deter me from what I want to do (become a CDI for the Deaf/Blind) and yes for all that is wondering...still got the boyfriend...and a ring! *winks*
 
I lost my hearing at an older age. I am totally with you on the descrimination thing. I live it daily,

The hearing world shuns me as I can't keep up. The deaf world does the same as I was never taught ASL. My ex is hearing as well as my kids (one of which has a disability).

Sadly I just want to belong. I dont feel sorry for myself at all. I was made the way I was supposed to be. I am happy, but it would be better if I could share this with others(hearing or non hearing).

Keep your man, do what works for you. Dont let others try and make you segragate yourself in order to "belong".

I hope all your wishes are granted.

Your post was like a mirror of myself.
 
catsmeow said:
I lost my hearing at an older age. I am totally with you on the descrimination thing. I live it daily,

The hearing world shuns me as I can't keep up. The deaf world does the same as I was never taught ASL. My ex is hearing as well as my kids (one of which has a disability).

Sadly I just want to belong. I dont feel sorry for myself at all. I was made the way I was supposed to be. I am happy, but it would be better if I could share this with others(hearing or non hearing).

Keep your man, do what works for you. Dont let others try and make you segragate yourself in order to "belong".

I hope all your wishes are granted.

Your post was like a mirror of myself.
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CatsMeow!

Let's keep in touch. I'm always trying to find someone that knows what I'm going through. It was a confusing life for me coming up! TRUST it's hard. Even as an ADULT, mindbogglingly (if that is ever gonna be a word) I still get made fun of by hearing adults because I didn't hear what he or she said. Or they tend to get frustrated when I don't hear what they say the first or second time. I'm like, "ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW???" But hey, like you said...we are who we are. Though annoying, I have learned to deal with the ignorance of the world.
 
The deaf world does the same as I was never taught ASL
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. That is why I think we need some sort of formal system for dhh oral and mainstream kids to learn ASL as a second language.
Keep on trying to find welcoming people. A lot of people understand that it wasn't your fault and will welcome you into the fold!
 
As a former oral deaf, I went through the same but like someone said about not giving up, I didnt and now I am involved with the Deaf community and dont get discriminated against.

Hope you will arrive there.
 
shel90 said:
As a former oral deaf, I went through the same but like someone said about not giving up, I didnt and now I am involved with the Deaf community and dont get discriminated against.

Hope you will arrive there.
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Same here, Shel. That is why I love the Deaf community a lot. I am very comfortable around them. It was not easy being an oral Deaf. I never like oral-only program in both of my elementary and high school. :ugh:

To donotfeedbsugar. Just don't give up on yourself. Be yourself and not try to be someone else. Try to practice signing and then go to Deaf event to communicate with them. It is still better if you use voice off. That is what we do in the Deaf community.

You have to try to find someone to be comfortable to communicate whether you are signing or prefer to talk without signing. Yeah, it would not be a good idea to be in the Deaf community if you prefer talking only. With your own group where there is oral deafies, you can do that. It is never too late. :wave:
 
I'm profoundly deaf. My girlfriend is hearing and is working hard everyday to learn ASL. We do go to deaf events sometimes. We are content with ourselves. We don't worry about what deaf community in general think of us. There are bad apples every where. Don't get the bad apples get to you.
 
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