To the "people"who stare at my child or feel sorry for her..

You may want to look into SODA (Sibling of Deaf Adults) activities for your son. Many Deaf camps allow hearing siblings or perhaps a specific SODA/CODA/KODA (Child of Deaf Adult/Kid of Deaf Adult) social event. He may feel like it is less "weird" (if that is the issue) if he can connect with peers going through the same experience.
 
You may want to look into SODA (Sibling of Deaf Adults) activities for your son. Many Deaf camps allow hearing siblings or perhaps a specific SODA/CODA/KODA (Child of Deaf Adult/Kid of Deaf Adult) social event. He may feel like it is less "weird" (if that is the issue) if he can connect with peers going through the same experience.
you guys are worth your weight in gold!!! everyone here has been so wonderful to me and have given me amazing information. Thank you! i wasn't even aware that might even be a possibility for him to join along too.
 
Too many hearing people think that communication is all about speech. It is not. Signing is 100 percent communication. As the kids mature they can add reading and writing communication skills. That goes for hearing and deaf kids both.
 
Too many hearing people think that communication is all about speech. It is not. Signing is 100 percent communication. As the kids mature they can add reading and writing communication skills. That goes for hearing and deaf kids both.
YES! Its so hard that other people don't understand this. I'm sick of getting the pity looks, like Maggies Mom talks about, when people hear I'm learning ASL for my deaf daughter. What's the big deal?! The only thing she can't do is hear, and its not all its cracked up to be! So don't feel sorry for her, she's going to be amazing no matter what, because she is who she is, not because she's "overcoming" anything!
 
my mother once told me,i was little, i was already deaf from birth. the neigbor talked with my mom, she pitied me and says she feels so sorry for me, oh poor you :D my mother was irritated, why ? her neigbour kid has heart problem, i have heraring problem...i think she will one who constantly worry about her kid. i´m perfectly fine...exept hearing. ;) children are individual beeings, everyone need different time. it´s only important to give attention to their children, and a lot of love! :D
 
my mother once told me,i was little, i was already deaf from birth. the neigbor talked with my mom, she pitied me and says she feels so sorry for me, oh poor you :D my mother was irritated, why ? her neigbour kid has heart problem, i have heraring problem...i think she will one who constantly worry about her kid. i´m perfectly fine...exept hearing. ;) children are individual beeings, everyone need different time. it´s only important to give attention to their children, and a lot of love! :D
I agree with you! As a mom I am so thankful it's her ears that aren't considered normal verses her heart or any other organ , that is a very clarifying point! And you are right plenty of love and attention is all any child needs to have a good foundation.
 
This reminds me of Little Women: ATL. A woman broke down after she found out her kids had the same type of dwarfism she has. A lot of little people wouldn't want to reproduce little people because of the societal barriers they face as little people (discrimination, teasing, health issues, etc).

Maybe that's similar to why people respond that way to your child being deaf. Hearing people are not better than deaf people, but deaf people do struggle with the hearing world. Hence why people sympathize that way. Otherwise, there probably wouldn't be a lot of pity. People respond this way whenever they hear that someone is stuggling. I also think it's natural for people to stare when they encounter things that are not usual. Sometimes it's best to put yourself in the shoes of people who are sorry for you, because that may ease tension between you and able-bodied people, for you.

I wouldn't mind if the 'sorries' were well-intentioned, because they're sorry about the situation, rather than the diagnosis itself.
 
Last edited:
One of my best friends had a son 30 years ago with no swallow reflex. it was assumed the baby would die shortly- for years that went on. Meanwhile my friend and his wife were loving and raising this little boy with several problems, but because he had a tracheostomy from birth he could not talk. Naturally mom and dad learned ASL and taught it to the boy, Jake. Well surprise, surprise, at about 5 years old Jake figured out a way to blow some air over his vocal cords as he exhaled and make some noise. He taught himself to talk. Jake is still pretty good at ASL, has a masters degree in early education and works in his school system supporting disabled kids.

The family still uses ASL to communicate in noisy places, or to avoid being overheard by hearing people. So many reasons to sign...

It's just a good story, not particularly relevant to you, Maggiesmom, :rofl:

More relevant, I occasionally encounter people who want to heap pity on me and sympathize with how annoying it can be.
 
Last edited:
Back
Top