thoughs on deaf/hearing relationships?

Avoid hearing/deaf relationships if you can, chances are, deafs are bieng used because fristly convenience that you cant hear their phone convos, and they 'win' you because you look good but dont know better...
also hearies will try make you 'accept' your handicap, and they say to you that you're an overcomer, it's just all lies, where that's really putting you in a spot that you cant have your say, nor can you BE Deaf, so AVOID RELATIONSHIPS with HEARIES...

sometimes I think the deafies who says' i have a hearing husband or hearing wife' is lke a brag, to think you Won them well no, they won you against the more difficult hearing vs hearing mating competitions out there...
AND the deafs who says they prefer hearing world with hearing spouses are the lost ones, they THINK they got a normal life, sic not...its a "normalised life", although there are some very rare ones with hearing spouse 'gone culturally deaf' or at least understand and respect the existence of it, that's lucky for some...not common, but good. other than al else above, deafies needs to be wary of the hearies.
 
Grummer said:
Avoid hearing/deaf relationships if you can, chances are, deafs are bieng used because fristly convenience that you cant hear their phone convos, and they 'win' you because you look good but dont know better...
also hearies will try make you 'accept' your handicap, and they say to you that you're an overcomer, it's just all lies, where that's really putting you in a spot that you cant have your say, nor can you BE Deaf, so AVOID RELATIONSHIPS with HEARIES...

sometimes I think the deafies who says' i have a hearing husband or hearing wife' is lke a brag, to think you Won them well no, they won you against the more difficult hearing vs hearing mating competitions out there...
AND the deafs who says they prefer hearing world with hearing spouses are the lost ones, they THINK they got a normal life, sic not...its a "normalised life", although there are some very rare ones with hearing spouse 'gone culturally deaf' or at least understand and respect the existence of it, that's lucky for some...not common, but good. other than al else above, deafies needs to be wary of the hearies.
Click to expand...

Ouch, sounds like you had a bad experience in the past.

I don't think anyone should completely avoid a hearie/deaf relationship, in my opinion it's an new experience for you to try out. You might like it, you might not.
 
I do agree with Grummer somewhat....just feel it's the late-deafened that most times are unsure of which way they want/need to go.....(was my case)....
 
Tuscany said:
Ouch, sounds like you had a bad experience in the past.

I don't think anyone should completely avoid a hearie/deaf relationship, in my opinion it's an new experience for you to try out. You might like it, you might not.
Click to expand...

no, dont patronise me, Ive been Watching other people, deafs and hearings, and how they 'interact' its kinda sick watching them faking or trying to make it real and somehow they seem to 'accept faking relationships' it just errie...if you had a bloody brain- you'd actually see the horror of it, its just too bizzare
 
To a brother on the other side of the world

It is a shock to just read this Grummer. I have read enough of your observations to know you are a bright guy with an observant nature. People love who they love and there is not much stopping them. I see lots of times where it is almost like a repeating program for some over and over the same things. What you are pointing out is something more all encompassing than that.
I am not deaf enough or really young enough in terms of the growing up deaf. It is like being a veteran of combat only those who were there really know.
To me one of the most beautiful things I ever see is two deaf people communicating smoothly and with a kind of connection that speaking does not evoke. The communication between two deaf and in love must be as close as two people can get.
One thing I often see is there is love and then there is the deepest bond of love/unconditional love. It is for many a fearful thing to let the most powerful love happen. It is a vulnerability they cannot allow. They stomp it out like they are killing snakes while not even knowing that it is a giant cry of fear from the subconscious and for good reason.
Would you be brave enough Grummer to be all in to that degree of love? A lot are not and that may be where it becomes the picture you see.
 
Grummer said:
no, dont patronise me, Ive been Watching other people, deafs and hearings, and how they 'interact' its kinda sick watching them faking or trying to make it real and somehow they seem to 'accept faking relationships' it just errie...if you had a bloody brain- you'd actually see the horror of it, its just too bizzare
Click to expand...

I'm not trying to patronise you.. It just seems that your painting every deaf/hearing couple under the same brush. How do you know that they're "faking" their relationship? You're not there with them behind closed doors.
 
SilentSigns said:
Hi all! I am a hearing 21 year old female but fluent in ASL. I'm curious what everyone thinks about mixing deaf and hearing in a relationship? I know it's not all that common, but oddly enough ever since I was a little girl I would tell my mom that I would marry a deaf man. I know that's weird, but whatever. I've seen a few relationships where one person was deaf and the other was not, but you don't see a lot of it.

Any thoughts?
Click to expand...

A cousin is deaf and married to a terp, it's not that common but it exists :)
 
Hi my name is Bree and I am 20years old and I am Hearing. I am in a Deaf/Hearing relationship. To me it is one of the best things to ever happen to me. Both of us sign, and we are both Deaf Education majors in college. He was born Deaf, which is beautiful thing. We began as friends and one day while we were hanging out he told me that there was a girl he liked. At the time I was really thickheaded and asked Who? Later that night and week we hung out and then I figured it out. After a while we started daring and immediately hit it off. Now we are doing extremely well and that has alot to do with cooperating and teaching one another. To be in this kind of relationship you need to understand that you are crossing worlds and also if you are Hearing you are stepping into a beautiful world the Deaf World. And even though it is beautiful it is something totally new you are in a new world one that has a different culture and language. But the more you accept what the Deaf World is the more amazing and beautiful it is. Learning and knowing American Sign Language ASL is a huge and important factor. Yes, there are different types of Deaf people and varieties if deafness just like people in the Hearing World. When a Hearing partner learns sign language it is an amazing experience, you see sign language is a very natural and beautiful language it had the ability to transcend both worlds and it carries the culture itself. To be a part of that or even just to witness it is a life changing experience one I cherish to this day. Personally I prefer the Deaf World because of its rich culture. But to answer the question YES I love my boyfriend we are very serious and plan on being married one day. It is not a matter of where you come from but rather what you do when you are there. I have never met someone so expressive he offers things to me that no other MAN could, because he is just that human. We are all human and that is what we share if you are going into a Deaf/Hearing relationship I encourage you to indulge in Deaf Culture but be sure to respect it, learn about it and if you can be a part if it. Being Deaf is a beautiful thing and offers its people something few Hearing people get experience. And whether or not you plan on being in a relationship learn ASL or any of the Sign Languages,know the difference between Deaf and deaf. And know that as a Hearing person you have a chance and you are an ambassador of the Hearing World. Too many times people forget or are not aware of this great and wonderful responsibility. I hope this helps and encourages everyone to get to know different Worlds and the beauty of being in a Deaf/Hearing relationship. I love him and the beauty of being with him and we both have realized this is that we are both ambassadors of our Worlds. And that means that because we love each other communication is not an issue. But to so this it is alot of work for both because you are crossing Worlds. My love and life traveler as he calls us is someone I cherish and he just happens to be Deaf.
 
Grummer said:
so...either way a hearies will love me with a hot rod or an exotic...
I think is great what you want, but its like a white girl wishing and dreaming of marrying a black man and only to find out that...you had as much chance as anyone else to find a dud black man as would find a dud white man...so its a personality thing too ...as much as life chances...if not as much as 'society chances', as you see, peoples perception are 50 and 50 governed by what they are biologically comfortable with as reaction to seeing 'civilisations' and the other 50% is what they are 'conditioned' to know or sense to take chances...that can reduced likihood drastically or hieghtens in other occassions...depending on your innate set up of reaction. Its like this,
a compatiable black man as you'd might 'click with' is closer to how he depicts as a while man or closer than a white man (himself!) BUT.,,wiser might also mean...its a racist assumption to believe a good black man has to be more noble than an ordinary white man...weird but true, even hollywood are clever to portray this and yet disguise this intent at same time....So...a Deaf man might have to be 'a visual yet still perfectly sane or behaviourly correct (or more so than) a hearing man next to him...

im just saying all this..
its like
becareful what you wish for, and its also like half the time we dont know WHAT we actually wished for, the mind and spirit is a very mysterious thing in itself...
anyways i need more wine now
and ..
Happy New year in 2 days time!!

so Cheers
Click to expand...


That is exactly what I meant to say in the other thread. I had to shake my head every time a hearing person (mostly seem to be women) mention their being so excited or wish to meet a Deaf man. Maybe a hearing man can have the same emotion like the woman who wish to meet or marry the Deaf man. That is why it is just making good sense to meet any man or woman and just have a click like getting to feel connected to the person, not just Deaf person that the hearing person want to date without clicking on her feeling of connection with the person. The clicking feeling is knowing she or he love that person who may not be hearing or deaf or handicapped. Falling in love is the answer, not some fairy tale or fanatasy just to get what the hearing person want. :(
 
Same. I agree Bebonang, and thanks. I hate it when people think I am doing something like a act of charity by being with my boyfriend. It is so annoying he is who he is. and yes it is annoying and sad when hearing women feel that way.
 
deaf + hearing relationship

Hi guys so what are your opinions and views on the subject of deaf and hearing having a relationship?
 
harleywild said:
Hi guys so what are your opinions and views on the subject of deaf and hearing having a relationship?
Click to expand...

I think it is no biggie. I am married to a hearing guy who is fluent in sign language. I am deaf.
 
I am hearing and my boyfriend is deaf. We are doing great. He is teaching me ASL and I am working on talking slower so he can read my lips. I am sorry you had a bad experience but don't give up hope.


Sent from my iPhone using AllDeaf
 
Both just want sex lol


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
SilentSigns said:
Hi all! I am a hearing 21 year old female but fluent in ASL. I'm curious what everyone thinks about mixing deaf and hearing in a relationship? I know it's not all that common, but oddly enough ever since I was a little girl I would tell my mom that I would marry a deaf man. I know that's weird, but whatever. I've seen a few relationships where one person was deaf and the other was not, but you don't see a lot of it.

Any thoughts?
Click to expand...
Its never worked for me. I've dating hearing girls a few times but they allways got frustrate and would leave. I guess it happens a lot but I don't think deaf and hearing couples tend to work out well.
 
I have a question - being in a hearing/deaf relationship, but with the hearing who is very fluent in ASL i.e. an interpreter or some sort of ASL heavily involvment, would these hearing people classify as 'culturally deaf'?
 
JClarke said:
I have a question - being in a hearing/deaf relationship, but with the hearing who is very fluent in ASL i.e. an interpreter or some sort of ASL heavily involvment, would these hearing people classify as 'culturally deaf'?
Click to expand...

Good question. It depends on how immersed they are among the deaf community. I know lots of terps that are avid in ASL but they are not immersed in the deaf community. I know a lot of hearing people who also are heavily immersed but does that mean they are culturally deaf? I don't know. I'd think it just depends on where their heart are set on. CODAs are an exception though, obviously.
 
JClarke said:
I have a question - being in a hearing/deaf relationship, but with the hearing who is very fluent in ASL i.e. an interpreter or some sort of ASL heavily involvment, would these hearing people classify as 'culturally deaf'?
Click to expand...

That's definitely a very touchy subject. You can be deaf and not be Deaf, ya know? You can also be fluent in ASL and not be involved in the community. My past relationships statistically show I prefer CODA's... :laugh2:
 
Mewtilation said:
That's definitely a very touchy subject. You can be deaf and not be Deaf, ya know? You can also be fluent in ASL and not be involved in the community. My past relationships statistically show I prefer CODA's... :laugh2:
Click to expand...
prefer CODAs? :laugh2:
 
goodonya said:
It is a shock to just read this Grummer. I have read enough of your observations to know you are a bright guy with an observant nature. People love who they love and there is not much stopping them. I see lots of times where it is almost like a repeating program for some over and over the same things. What you are pointing out is something more all encompassing than that.
I am not deaf enough or really young enough in terms of the growing up deaf. It is like being a veteran of combat only those who were there really know.
To me one of the most beautiful things I ever see is two deaf people communicating smoothly and with a kind of connection that speaking does not evoke. The communication between two deaf and in love must be as close as two people can get.
One thing I often see is there is love and then there is the deepest bond of love/unconditional love. It is for many a fearful thing to let the most powerful love happen. It is a vulnerability they cannot allow. They stomp it out like they are killing snakes while not even knowing that it is a giant cry of fear from the subconscious and for good reason.
Would you be brave enough Grummer to be all in to that degree of love? A lot are not and that may be where it becomes the picture you see.
Click to expand...

It ain't no shocking thing to see. Just because that it is statistically true.
 
Back
Top