I've read all the wonderful responses, Strong. Brief history about me. I hit 60 this year and that's important I think for a perspective to a college fellow. But, I was your age once. I did well my first year but I can't say I had any sort of a blast.
I grew up hearing. My speech after many years of speech therapy remained perfect. I had a CI 10/24/13. My bone conduction in one ear is gone as well as my hearing, as expected. The unexpected is in the slow changes and loss of my perfect speech that I have fought my life to maintain. So, I am getting comments but just from my partner. 20+ years ago, I asked her to let me know if I started sounding deaf. She's doing her due diligence. She told me last night that my speech was soft and blurry. I've heard it going inside my head for a while and it sounds fuzzy. Today, I told a neighbor friend my hearing is getting worse and I signed to her a bit (I don't know ASL). She groaned. I told her not to feel bad for me that I'll be fine and I meant that. At this stage of my life, while it's weird for my speech to be finally getting worse, at least people will LIKELY understand I am deaf. Having perfect hearing was very confusing to people. I didn't look HoH or deaf and I didn't sound it. But based on what I'm learning I acted like it but people didn't "get it."
As Reba and Ambrosia have both suggested and I'm adding my two cents, you've gone to two counselors. They did not work out. Go to another. If it doesn't work, trust me... drop 'em and go to another. I am and I have. I'm having a tough time dealing with the effects of the implant. I opted against going to a counselor who could hear. I don't need someone who can listen, I need to understand how to adapt and what is going on with my head. I changed my mind about going to a dude who said he had a "Ben Bernake" mustache and beard who dealt with clients who are hard of hearing. I ended up finding a very-well lettered MSW...., xxxx (I was told what they meant but forgot). She has an implant and uses pigeon sign for me. I know that may be useless to you. But what's important is that you find the right match and don't give up. Look for deaf and hard of hearing services where you are as difficult as that may be (it was for me). If you don't have insurance, they may take a sliding scale fee. Sheri363 talks about how wonderfully you write. You absolutely do.
I hate to recommend this but if you are indeed filled with that much anxiety, you may want to connect with a psychiatrist who can give you low doses of anti-anxiety or depression medications. My biggest concern about this is that you're in college and they may slow down your thinking process.
This is why I wanted to do a power point presentation at two hospitals (I volunteered locally where we now live). Strong, we moved south one year after I landed in the ignorant hospital. I was in for many days where people were accessing my chart and making incorrect conclusions about how I was acting. I ended up explaining it to the head nurse and it was pretty annoying. It was bad enough that we figured out the next time I'm in a hospital we have to write d-e-a-f across my face. We nixed that because we didn't think anyone would understand the implications.
You're in nursing. Do something to educate them about what it means to be deaf and how to react to someone either with a hearing loss or who is deaf. The hospitals will be seeing more and more baby boomers who have hearing issues. Do an extra credit project on this?
I'm glad your class knows. Voice modulation is tough. In my 20s, I borrowed a dB meter and used it at work
was fun and interesting.
I wish you the sincerest best of luck. Keep asking questions. We're all here for you as you obviously noticed.
--Sheri (not Sheri363
Thank you for your advice. Yes, I actually was talking to my fellow student nurses and I've noticed that they are talking really fast (out of habit I guess). I keep reminding them that they need to talk slowly but not does this only help me, but also a good way to practice for communicate with seniors.
Sometime in the future, I will plan a presentation for my nursing school about talking to people who are deaf/hard of hearing/hearing impaired/cochlear implanted. I'm sorry about your experience of the hospital workers dealing with you like that. I used to work in a hospital and I sometimes had colleagues talk to me like, "H..O..W.....A..R..E.....Y..O..U.............?
Just stop.
but again, I do what works for me as you will do what works for you.