Thinking of my future and it scares me.

radioman said:
why do people go to nursing homes? its cheaper. some places are so cheap on labor and dont care about real quality life so you dont see the problem till too late.

do you want to be in complete control of this for your future ?! easy .. it starts with money and resources. its not gonna be found later and in nursing homes.
you see - you gotta be rich, or work hard and save every penny and not enjoy life at all and then hire private staff to take care of you 24/7 the way you want to be.

Lets see -- work hard and not enjoy life? what kind of life is that?! what if you die before you are old enough to lose your mind? what a waste. I'd would enjoy life NOW and tell my kids when I lose my mind - make sure i dont get abused, etc.
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I am a health aide to help people be able to live in their own home as long a possible and None of clients that where rich had enough money to hire 24/7
help. Living in a nursing home is not cheap, it' cheaper to have a health aide and visiting nurse or manger care . None of my client liked manger care b/c someone would just pop into your apartment and see if you needed anything done and give you a fast shower if you're lucky or a sponge bath.
A health aide stayed for 2 hour or less so a person got to have some company to talk to help with loneness . I hate to tell you that most of the abuse I saw was from family members .

I would rather drop dead than going into a nursing home or have a health aide. I do not want any stranger coming into my home . People are not being checked out good enough today.
 
Okay, I am only 46 yrs old. I just came back home from Texas seeing my 84 yr old grandmother in a long term rehab facility and being moved to a nursing home. It made me think twice about how I want to be cared for as she did in her estate/will. My uncle can not care for her as much as he would love to and like to do it for her. I just saw how easily it was to not be cared for correctly. I just needed an outlet to see if anyone else felt the same way. I talked with my husband and he assured me that our future is secure for now and that we would make time later to look at our wills/estate planning paperwork to ensure that we would be taken care of in the event our kids can not help.
While that is assuring, I still have my qualms about it.
 
MelissaWatt said:
Okay, I am only 46 yrs old. I just came back home from Texas seeing my 84 yr old grandmother in a long term rehab facility and being moved to a nursing home. It made me think twice about how I want to be cared for as she did in her estate/will. My uncle can not care for her as much as he would love to and like to do it for her. I just saw how easily it was to not be cared for correctly. I just needed an outlet to see if anyone else felt the same way. I talked with my husband and he assured me that our future is secure for now and that we would make time later to look at our wills/estate planning paperwork to ensure that we would be taken care of in the event our kids can not help.
While that is assuring, I still have my qualms about it.
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But you didn't volunteer to take you grandmother in, so she could be cared for as you seem to think you deserve?
 
Bottesini said:
But you didn't volunteer to take you grandmother in, so she could be cared for as you seem to think you deserve?[/QUOTE

I would be offended by this, but you do not know all the circumstances involved with my grandmother who I love dearly. She has lost a son to cancer, two husbands to cancer, and has managed to live on SS from all her years as a nurse. She has Medicare/Medicaid.. Not sure which one. Has had a-Fib for a while now, needs stents but can't clearly get it done because its not deemed bad enough, edema and recently found lumps and nodules on her lungs from an X-ray. My uncle is doing everything he can to take care of her. Has a home health aid come in to do some care for her and volunteers from her church come in to see her often. I just went home to texas to see her and basically it was a good bye trip because my uncle told me he was pretty sure she would be gone soon either from the A-fib or lung cancer. He did not want to put her in nursing home facility but at least discussed it with me and all her grand daughters as well as my grandmother.

Please do not assault me with with you think you know when you don't know. I care for her deeply and was involved with her process to move her from a longterm rehab until her Medicare/insurance ran out to a nursing facility of which she has insurance for to cover that.

I have a lot on my plate of which I will not broadcast out on here. I just needed some advice/sounding board and feel that I will no longer post such things. I thought this would be helpful for me. thanks
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MelissaWatt said:
I would be offended by this, but you do not know all the circumstances involved with my grandmother who I love dearly. She has lost a son to cancer, two husbands to cancer, and has managed to live on SS from all her years as a nurse. She has Medicare/Medicaid.. Not sure which one. Has had a-Fib for a while now, needs stents but can't clearly get it done because its not deemed bad enough, edema and recently found lumps and nodules on her lungs from an X-ray. My uncle is doing everything he can to take care of her. Has a home health aid come in to do some care for her and volunteers from her church come in to see her often. I just went home to texas to see her and basically it was a good bye trip because my uncle told me he was pretty sure she would be gone soon either from the A-fib or lung cancer. He did not want to put her in nursing home facility but at least discussed it with me and all her grand daughters as well as my grandmother.

Please do not assault me with with you think you know when you don't know. I care for her deeply and was involved with her process to move her from a longterm rehab until her Medicare/insurance ran out to a nursing facility of which she has insurance for to cover that.

I have a lot on my plate of which I will not broadcast out on here. I just needed some advice/sounding board and feel that I will no longer post such things. I thought this would be helpful for me. thanks
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Feel free to be offended. You are upsetting several people on many different levels.

Stopping the constant whining will definitely stand you in good stead here.
 
And you can get mental health care in your community, always available on a sliding scale, with no need to waste time waiting for military care.
 
Bottesini said:
Feel free to be offended. You are upsetting several people on many different levels.

Stopping the constant whining will definitely stand you in good stead here.
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Btw.. I live in Virginia and my grandmother lives in Texas. Please let me know who I am upsetting on different levels? You don't know me from jack and yet you feel free to tell me to stop whining. When you can walk in my shoes and know my story then please feel free to tell me to stop whining'
 
MelissaWatt said:
Okay, I am only 46 yrs old. I just came back home from Texas seeing my 84 yr old grandmother in a long term rehab facility and being moved to a nursing home. It made me think twice about how I want to be cared for as she did in her estate/will. My uncle can not care for her as much as he would love to and like to do it for her. I just saw how easily it was to not be cared for correctly. I just needed an outlet to see if anyone else felt the same way. I talked with my husband and he assured me that our future is secure for now and that we would make time later to look at our wills/estate planning paperwork to ensure that we would be taken care of in the event our kids can not help.
While that is assuring, I still have my qualms about it.
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I think your husband is wrong in waiting to setting up a will b/c anything happen tomorrow to both of you and your kids could end going to a family member you do not like.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
I think your husband is wrong in waiting to setting up a will b/c anything happen tomorrow to both of you and your kids could end going to a family member you do not like.
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My fault for not being clear.. We have wills/and estate planning. We just need to take a look and revise them as things have changed. He is a good husband and a very smart man who works so hard to make sure that I am well taken care of in the event that something does happen. I need to look at my post before posting. ( argghh slapping my forehead )
 
MelissaWatt said:
My fault for not being clear.. We have wills/and estate planning. We just need to take a look and revise them as things have changed. He is a good husband and a very smart man who works so hard to make sure that I am well taken care of in the event that something does happen. I need to look at my post before posting. ( argghh slapping my forehead )
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You might look into long-term care insurance also. My Hubby and I have that. Thankfully, we got our policies before I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease.

The best time to start that insurance is while you're still relatively young and healthy.
 
Bottesini said:
Feel free to be offended. You are upsetting several people on many different levels.

Stopping the constant whining will definitely stand you in good stead here.
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I don't think anyone here is being forced to read the thread , if people do not like what the OP posting they can just not click onto it.
 
Reba said:
You might look into long-term care insurance also. My Hubby and I have that. Thankfully, we got our policies before I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease.

The best time to start that insurance is while you're still relatively young and healthy.
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agreed.. we started our children's education benefits long before they were born. Thankful for my husband who thinks of all my needs and his as well.
 
MelissaWatt said:
agreed.. we started our children's education benefits long before they were born. Thankful for my husband who thinks of all my needs and his as well.
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Long-term care insurance is not for the children. It's to pay for nursing homes, home-care aids, special equipment or home modifications, or whatever you need for your care if you become disabled. People usually get that insurance before they become 60 years old. After 60 it becomes more expensive because the risk goes up.
 
Reba said:
You might look into long-term care insurance also. My Hubby and I have that. Thankfully, we got our policies before I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease.

The best time to start that insurance is while you're still relatively young and healthy.
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"Like:

There you go. :cool2:
 
Reba said:
Long-term care insurance is not for the children. It's to pay for nursing homes, home-care aids, special equipment or home modifications, or whatever you need for your care if you become disabled. People usually get that insurance before they become 60 years old. After 60 it becomes more expensive because the risk goes up.
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Oh, boy, that is not good. I am 68 years old and will be 69 in November. But for MelissaWatt, that would be good, I think.

Thank you, Reba, for clearing that up about this insurance. I don't have that insurance to cover that. I will have to talk to my sister about that. Her husband is in the nursing home. He is 68 years old. :eek3:
 
Reba said:
Long-term care insurance is not for the children. It's to pay for nursing homes, home-care aids, special equipment or home modifications, or whatever you need for your care if you become disabled. People usually get that insurance before they become 60 years old. After 60 it becomes more expensive because the risk goes up.
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Thank you .. that is what is helping my grandmother and it is something I plan to discuss as soon as possible. :ty::wave:
 
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