Thinking abt my friends.

[WhisperHorse]

I have been thinking abt my friends alot, I just dont understand my best friend, Gabrielle in some ways. Her ex: Chris and her boyfriend(present): Chris S.

My best friend, Gabrielle dated her boyfriend named Chris for 6 years, she threw it out of the window in around 3 weeks ago. I got confused abt it and got too upset because I saw how he treat her in good and everything like that, she didnt tell me abt another situation between of her and him. She date with her new boyfriend right now, named is Chris S. Until, finally she told me abt her ex, Chris. She dont like stuffs abt him are: her ex wont go out to anywhere with her to like, Mall, Resturant to dating, etc like that. And her ex wont go out with her with her friends ilke me, blah whoever is her friends. And he must to be stay at home ALL THE TIME. And he focus on the piano all the time, dont attention to her that enough. And he dont tell her what he talk abt since he is hearing and she is deaf. So, she been patient with him since until she saw her and my old friend, Chris S again and she woke up by that and dumped her ex then date with Chris S, which it got me turn off by that but Im back off since shes adult. Im still not understand her becuase SIX YEARS of relationship that she been with her ex. Her ex admit that he will change to better person that he can be but she said she apologize and wont tell him the truth that she is dating with someone already. Also she told me that she do likes her new boyfriend but do still love her ex. Thats what got me scared a little.

How would you feel if that happen to you?

My answer for that question:

I would be very upset if that happens to me, since 6 years is long enough. And if I do love my guy, I will dicussion with him and work out on his and my relationship to BETTER instead of letting that go down, you know? I would be very scared to lose him, you know who I talk abt. Since I do love him and cant wait to meeting him and being in his arms and everything like that. :| I would be very sad if I lose him, my life would feel so empty without him in there. But if there are good reasons that I have to lose him, I WOULD UNDERSTAND but if STUPID reasons, no reasons, such like that and I would very upset, sad, angry, etc like that.

By the way, I felt very bad for Chris(her ex) and hes very sweet guy, funny and friendly but I dont understand why she have to throw that 6 years in the toilet and she flushed it away already.

 

[fei ku]

hmmm

hmm i undy what u mean by that.....if i was chris (her ex)'s shoes i wud be very very hurt and felt like she already destory inside my body have no life inside me......and also i kinda of undy gabe's feeling.....i mean i sorta of in that same kind of stution (sp) i was with my ex bf for 2 years then after that he dumped me for stupid reason...funny thing is that i didnt get heartbroken he was heartbroken when he dumped me then i was like all of a sudden go out with gordy....2 years was my first longest relationship i ever had....i shud be sad and such like that but i wasnt....then ofc gordy did cheated on me....we were only together for 5 months....so when he speak with me again......we chatted and he asked me if i am ok and i finally have the guts to tell him that i have to let him go..........it hurt me when i said that but i dont undy....i shud have love my ex bf but i dont and also gordy was the one that i deepily in love with but oh well guess it all gone.....to me gabe is rebound same with me with my ex bf and gordy.....and also i know it is stupid of her to do that.....shud be single for while like i suppose to do that too i do undy chris and gabe's view but it their plm and their decision if gabe fucked up just be there for her no matter what.....it it happen to u ....i wud be mad ofc...and disguest too and will might cry lol but also i wud respect ya and also i will (ofc) yell at u why u do that and such like that.....soo hope this will help ya hehe

 

[WhisperHorse]

Understand, Chris and Chris S are my friends. I like Chris and Chris S too but ugh, I looked at Chris and Chris S, there is very difference between of them. I want to seeing Gabrielle to be happy but honestly, I saw Gabrielle being with Chris, shes happy. But, when shes with Chris S, shes more like happy too. I dont understand. I wish she can explain me more CLEARLY. I felt that Im trapped in somewhere of that. I used to seeing Gabrielle as alone, but right now not anymore becuase of Chris S. She must bring him along with her since I would like to spend alone time with her sometime like girls night out. But, I guess everything is screwed up. Im letting Gabrielle to handle it but sometime, she do pull me in between to helping her. Sometime, when I wanted to tell Gabrielle abt Chris S if I see something that I dont like or something is not good with her and his relationship since she asked me to telling her EVERYTHING. When I told her and she got a little mad abt it and said he is amazing guy and I said oh well, I can see something in him which you cant and she got mad at me for saying that since its true. Oh well, right now Im letting her handle it until I see something is bad and I promised her that I will tell her abt that and she have to promise me that she wouldnt mad at me for telling her since she asked me for it. Ugh, I hate relationships problem from her because Chris S is her third boyfriend, shes only 21 yrs old. She dated with her first boyfriend named Tony for more than a year, then dated with her second boyfriend, Chris for more than SIX years then right now date with Chris S for almost a month. I hope some of you can give me advices so I can tell her or whatever like that, thanks.

 

[WhisperHorse]

hmm i undy what u mean by that.....if i was chris (her ex)'s shoes i wud be very very hurt and felt like she already destory inside my body have no life inside me......and also i kinda of undy gabe's feeling.....i mean i sorta of in that same kind of stution (sp) i was with my ex bf for 2 years then after that he dumped me for stupid reason...funny thing is that i didnt get heartbroken he was heartbroken when he dumped me then i was like all of a sudden go out with gordy....2 years was my first longest relationship i ever had....i shud be sad and such like that but i wasnt....then ofc gordy did cheated on me....we were only together for 5 months....so when he speak with me again......we chatted and he asked me if i am ok and i finally have the guts to tell him that i have to let him go..........it hurt me when i said that but i dont undy....i shud have love my ex bf but i dont and also gordy was the one that i deepily in love with but oh well guess it all gone.....to me gabe is rebound same with me with my ex bf and gordy.....and also i know it is stupid of her to do that.....shud be single for while like i suppose to do that too i do undy chris and gabe's view but it their plm and their decision if gabe fucked up just be there for her no matter what.....it it happen to u ....i wud be mad ofc...and disguest too and will might cry lol but also i wud respect ya and also i will (ofc) yell at u why u do that and such like that.....soo hope this will help ya hehe

I remember that part. Yeah, it did help me in some ways. I will be there for Gabrielle of course but, I sometime wish that she will be SINGLE for awhile because she NEVER being single for almost 8 years. She need it for awhile so she will feel better and will not have ANY of confusion(sp?) in her mind. Ugh... Once if Gabrielle tells me that shes going to dump Chris S and I will tell her to be SINGLE for awhile! *rawr* thank you for your advice.

 

[Cheri]

I understand how you feel about your friend and her ex, and how she broke up with him after six years of relationship, but really it is her business, what she wants to do is her choice. You are both of their friends, all you can really do is be there for both of them, don't get involved, because it cause conflicts and you could lose her as a friendship. Maybe the relationship was not going anywhere to the point of it's not working out anymore. Let her be with this new guy, If he isn't the one for her then she will know she made a mistake. Just let her go do what she wants to do. In the meantime, just be friends with both of them like you always had been. They both need you. Don't take sides.

 

[fei ku]

I remember that part. Yeah, it did help me in some ways. I will be there for Gabrielle of course but, I sometime wish that she will be SINGLE for awhile because she NEVER being single for almost 8 years. She need it for awhile so she will feel better and will not have ANY of confusion(sp?) in her mind. Ugh... Once if Gabrielle tells me that shes going to dump Chris S and I will tell her to be SINGLE for awhile! *rawr* thank you for your advice.

and also if gabe dont listen to u then let it "hit her in the head" and she will realize and will tell u that she is sorry BIG TIME soo let see how things goes with gabe and chris s and ofc they are only begin sweetheart they will get use to see each other later but for now it like a new love to them and wanna to see each other everyday....like u and seq....when first time sweetheart it like wanna to chat each other everyday and be on vp everyday it like bright each other day up no matter what....but dont worry gabe will get use later but i hope it will be soon enough lol soo and also i think gabe is blind right now so give her more time then she will start to open her eyes and listen to u and start to hang with u for girls only if she refuse then my opintion it cud destory ur and her friendship cuz of that but i doubt it will happen cuz i know u have a strong and stubborn soul and wont let it happen hehe cuz she has been ur best friend for 18 yrs *winks*

 

[WhisperHorse]

I understand how you feel about your friend and her ex, and how she broke up with him after six years of relationship, but really it is her business, what she wants to do is her choice. You are both of their friends, all you can really do is be there for both of them, don't get involved, because it cause conflicts and you could lose her as a friendship. Maybe the relationship was not going anywhere to the point of it's not working out anymore. Let her be with this new guy, If he isn't the one for her then she will know she made a mistake. Just let her go do what she wants to do. In the meantime, just be friends with both of them like you always had been. They both need you. Don't take sides.

Ohh thank you for your advice, Cheri. But I dont understand why Gabrielle pulled me between of them and their problems? I knew she need my help sometime but if I dont know what to say or handle it so why not she do that? Im not taking any sides, just listen her problems and Chris' problems and Chris S' problems but they got me like that UGH! But I didnt see Chris since because he and Im not really that CLOSE like Im with Gabrielle and Chris S right now. But Im back off abt that. Thank you for your advice AGAIN!

 

[WhisperHorse]

and also if gabe dont listen to u then let it "hit her in the head" and she will realize and will tell u that she is sorry BIG TIME soo let see how things goes with gabe and chris s and ofc they are only begin sweetheart they will get use to see each other later but for now it like a new love to them and wanna to see each other everyday....like u and seq....when first time sweetheart it like wanna to chat each other everyday and be on vp everyday it like bright each other day up no matter what....but dont worry gabe will get use later but i hope it will be soon enough lol soo and also i think gabe is blind right now so give her more time then she will start to open her eyes and listen to u and start to hang with u for girls only if she refuse then my opintion it cud destory ur and her friendship cuz of that but i doubt it will happen cuz i know u have a strong and stubborn soul and wont let it happen hehe cuz she has been ur best friend for 18 yrs *winks*

Yeah I will let it "hit her int he head" and I know it will happen to her if she dont listen to me. Oh well, Im letting them learn something new which Gabrielle dont have experience same like I already have. I hope she will start hang out with me as alone sometime but let see what happen later. I dont know if her and my friendship will ruin by that because Im very hard person to letting my friendship with EVERYBODY to be ruin or anything like that because I never believe in friendship will become fade or whatever like that. Yeah she has been my best friend for almost 19 yrs since. Wow too long.. But let see what happen later thank you again!

 

[Alex]

Some people are just so damned selfish. I can think of one right now.

I feel bad for this guy, Chris.

 

[Cheri]

Ohh thank you for your advice, Cheri. But I dont understand why Gabrielle pulled me between of them and their problems? I knew she need my help sometime but if I dont know what to say or handle it so why not she do that? Im not taking any sides, just listen her problems and Chris' problems and Chris S' problems but they got me like that UGH! But I didnt see Chris since because he and Im not really that CLOSE like Im with Gabrielle and Chris S right now. But Im back off abt that. Thank you for your advice AGAIN!

Maybe Gabrielle wants to vent out her feelings with you about her problems with her boyfriend, I do that too with my friends when I need to vent out my feelings about something that is bothering me, I would go to my friends for advices, caring and support. I know you feel bad for Chris the one that got dumped, Everyone of us get dumped from time to time and I know it's a situation we all don't want to get into. But, Sometimes we need to step back and be the friends we are to our friends to listen, hear them out and comfort them. You're welcome too

 

[WhisperHorse]

Some people are just so damned selfish. I can think of one right now.

I feel bad for this guy, Chris.

I agreed with you, I feel bad for Chris I wish I could be there for him but I dont know if he would like to seeing me to being there for him since Im Gabrielle's best friend for almost 19 years.

 

[WhisperHorse]

Maybe Gabrielle wants to vent out her feelings with you about her problems with her boyfriend, I do that too with my friends when I need to vent out my feelings about something that is bothering me, I would go to my friends for advices, caring and support. I know you feel bad for Chris the one that got dumped, Everyone of us get dumped from time to time and I know it's a situation we all don't want to get into. But, Sometimes we need to step back and be the friends we are to our friends to listen, hear them out and comfort them. You're welcome too

Thats what I think she wants to vent out her feelings with me. But sometime, she got me confused by that. I want to ask her AGAIN. That question that I want to ask is, "Why did you let your 6 years in the toilet to flush away?" And she might will give me SAME answers but I dont want to confuse her MORE. I rather to leave her alone until she realize whatever to do. Yeah, of course I felt bad for Chris but just happened. Thats true, Everyone of us get dumped from time to time, ugh. I agreed with you, but thank you for making this clear! I thank Fei Ku, Alex, you and my Sequoias(in AIM) to cheer me up!

 

[FreeWoman77]

Maybe Gabrielle wants to vent out her feelings with you about her problems with her boyfriend, I do that too with my friends when I need to vent out my feelings about something that is bothering me, I would go to my friends for advices, caring and support. I know you feel bad for Chris the one that got dumped, Everyone of us get dumped from time to time and I know it's a situation we all don't want to get into. But, Sometimes we need to step back and be the friends we are to our friends to listen, hear them out and comfort them. You're welcome too

as always

sweetheart, maybe Gabe is getting some things off from her chest to tell, all u do is listen but not be involved telling her "should have" or "..be" if she is with Chris S. up to her, u'll be there as friend, if they got broken up, u'd be there with her she will need u, as for now care of urself with Seq

If ex, Chris, is ur friend? when he sees u, u may say Hi

 

[WhisperHorse]

as always

sweetheart, maybe Gabe is getting some things off from her chest to tell, all u do is listen but not be involved telling her "should have" or "..be" if she is with Chris S. up to her, u'll be there as friend, if they got broken up, u'd be there with her she will need u, if Chir, as for now care of urself with Seq

If ex, Chris, is ur friend? when he sees u, u may say Hi

Yeah I know, I didnt say anything to her until she asked me what I think or my opinion or such like that and she asked for the TRUTH. So I told her the truth thats it. Im always being there for her for almost 19 years since. Plus, I want to seeing my friend, Chris and chatting with him but, I dont know when good time for him and me to seeing each other :| because of Gabrielle

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Yes I'm with Cheri and FreeWoman77 but one point I want to open what I think of your friends.


I feel bad for Chris after beleive for 6 years that everything is okay until Gabe throw him like bomb for someone else... Chris don't know what he stand because it's for him is like "bomb". Why Gabe said to you for a first time AFTER, not before that he's tooo good to her. I think Gabe should discuss with Chris how she feel toward his behavior instead of push him for someone else. It's unfair. I beleive Chris would want to try something change for her if Gabe talk to him. I beleive is talk first before do something if it doesn't work.

Like what Cheri said but I would suggest Gabe to solve with Chris is let him know how she feel toward his behavior without get involved... It's sad but you can't do anything for her or him but be there for them to be good listener.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Yeah I know, I didnt say anything to her until she asked me what I think or my opinion or such like that and she asked for the TRUTH. So I told her the truth thats it. Im always being there for her for almost 19 years since. Plus, I want to seeing my friend, Chris and chatting with him but, I dont know when good time for him and me to seeing each other :| because of Gabrielle

Tell her truth how you feeling IF she asks you for your opinion. Anyone deserve the truth...

 

[Angel]

Aww I feel bad for this guy .....


Alex is right, some people can be quite selfish to the point of not caring about someone's feelings but only caring about thsemsleves.....


Cheri also had a good suggestion about not getting involved because it can cause problems between two friendships since you did say you are friends with both of them....

I know you feel bad about the situation between two friends , and you don't want to see either of them being hurt that is understandable, cause I'm the same way as you are, when it comes to friends being hurt etc but you want to keep those friendship with the two of them and the best advice is not to get involved, but to let them work it out on their own or let them go on with their lives separately....


Also there's nothing wrong with having Chris ( the guy ) venting his feelings out to you, cause you are his friends too, you want to be there for him by being able to help him feel a bit better knowing he can count on you, and that doesn't mean you're getting in the middle of it, its more of helping a friend in needed .....

 

[Steel X]

perhas you could tell your friend to see if she can listen more closely to her heart instead of in her head.

 

[TweetyBird]

yea i agree with cheri and alex.. tell her how ur feeling...

 

[WhisperHorse]

Yes I'm with Cheri and FreeWoman77 but one point I want to open what I think of your friends.

I do agree with Cheri and FreeWoman77.

I feel bad for Chris after beleive for 6 years that everything is okay until Gabe throw him like bomb for someone else... Chris don't know what he stand because it's for him is like "bomb". Why Gabe said to you for a first time AFTER, not before that he's tooo good to her. I think Gabe should discuss with Chris how she feel toward his behavior instead of push him for someone else. It's unfair. I beleive Chris would want to try something change for her if Gabe talk to him. I beleive is talk first before do something if it doesn't work.

Thats what I felt that Gabrielle did that. I agreed with you that she should dicuss with Chris how she feel toward his behavior. But, too late that shes dating with Chris S. She broke up with Chris and all of sudden, Chris S told me that Gabrielle is his girlfriend and I was like what the?! I dont know whats going on. Until around a week or two weeks later, Gabrielle explained me whole of everything and I yelled at her that I dont like that how I dont know everything until Chris S told me and it did get me so pissed off and I thought Gabrielle want to be single for awhile but she already date with Chris S without tell me in first place. Gabrielle apologized but, I do like Chris S and hes great guy but few in him that I dont like. Im back off whoever Gabrielle date with, but I dont want to seeing her end up to getting hurt same like I did with my ex. Oh well.

Like what Cheri said but I would suggest Gabe to solve with Chris is let him know how she feel toward his behavior without get involved... It's sad but you can't do anything for her or him but be there for them to be good listener.

I will try to telling Gabrielle to going to Chris and talking to him WHOLE of everything to making him to understand clearly so he can know the truth instead of bust her that shes with someone else. Whoa, I cant imange Chris' face when he see her with Chris S since he really, really HATE Chris S so much, trust me. :|

Tell her truth how you feeling IF she asks you for your opinion. Anyone deserve the truth...

Yeah, anyone deserve if they ask for truth.