Think daughter is audist...

Sunshine said:
I lipread well. Very well. Not know how pronounce anything.
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Goes to show....everybody is different!...I had a girlfriend that was born deaf, and she was a better lipreader than I was...but her speech was not very good.
 
Sunshine said:
I lipread well. Very well. Not know how pronounce anything.
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I think because grown up with hearie family this make difference. Nobody deaf in my family either so always look for visual cues to understand what everyone say. Need to survive so figure it all out.

posts from hell said:
same here. I dont even lipread. I see words like a book.
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I lip read but it is very fast. Probably 99% of hearies have never even notice I do this because it so subtle and only need every 3rd or 4th word to understand what they say. If do not understand then say, "Pardon me?"

Probably whole life? Only 2 people ask I'm reading their lips, like, "Wow, are you reading my lips? [squeal]" :roll:

Only about 10 people know because tell them need to *see* lips to understand.

Piss me off at office recent because have total office cancer, bitch, she know enunciation is challenge for me and she mad at me for giving her direction. She say, THREE TIMES in less than 2 hour, "Can you repeat that? I did not understand what you just said." Wow, all could take not to whack her across the face. Tell boss/client I *WILL* (hit her) the next time she ask. Think he have private conversation with her to save bitch from assault by me. Evil woman!!
 
Why is it your fault you can't hear? Or did I misunderstand?
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I think it is an irrational emotion - consciously, I know it is not my fault,
something beyond my control,
unconsciously I am still feeling guilty and inadequate.

dammit!

Fuzzy
 
Audiofuzzy said:
Agreed.
not only that, nowadays hardly anyone teaches the respect due to
the older and elders anymore. It's just too bad.
I am from the generation where talking back to your parents was unthinkable,
my daughter while she does talk back sometimes she doesn't let go all the way either.
I do have power to keep her in her place, although barely, I admit.

My lack of full parental success in this matter does have roots in being guilty over not being able to hear and communicate as well as other parents do.

As it happens, I am reading the last part of The Good Earth trilogy by Pearl S.Buck and the contrast by then and now is striking.

Fuzzy
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I know! I never talked like that to my mom or teachers. I know I had my days when I was a smartmouth with them but generally I knew I had to respect them. My daughter is being a total bitch to me and my students at my work tell us teachers that we are stupid.

Obviously I am a bad parent if my daughter can think she can be a bitch to me just because I wont let her get her way.

What's wrong with kids today?!!
 
I am so sorry you daughter said that to you. It was unfair and hurtful I can only imagine. My father requested to see the audiogram for my children before he would start learning sign....
 
shel90 said:
I know! I never talked like that to my mom or teachers. I know I had my days when I was a smartmouth with them but generally I knew I had to respect them. My daughter is being a total bitch to me and my students at my work tell us teachers that we are stupid.

Obviously I am a bad parent if my daughter can think she can be a bitch to me just because I wont let her get her way.

What's wrong with kids today?!!
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Oh, god, Shel! It's like we give *our* kids a free pass because of guilt. *WHY* do we feel guilt? Because our own parent implanted that f-ing guilt trip within us? I cannot do *anything* right with my second eldest but, moreso, my 3rd eldest.

Second eldest is, you see, "Super Mum" now that she have child. She absolute best friend before she have child. *Now*? She judge me base on her own mothering skill for which I was not like that.
 
blondon704 said:
I am so sorry you daughter said that to you. It was unfair and hurtful I can only imagine. My father requested to see the audiogram for my children before he would start learning sign....
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That is..pathetic...and beyond hurtful for you as Mum. :hug:
 
DeafBadger said:
15 years! Impressive!
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*talking abut keeping fishes alive for 15 years shit what thread that was?* lol

id be impressed if you can keep all your fingers that long...from your pet fresh water biters from South Africa...lol
92121157_460x230.jpg
 
Frisky Feline said:
:hug: sometimes in relatives are desperate for their loved people who are able to hear but they didnt realize that we all are really ok. i guess we made up and accept who we are and move on but they are?????
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and that....kinda show they DONT know the 'real you' (happens to me LOTS)...its understandable though, like maybe just maybe we need to give 'oh you may wonder if id be like if im hearing'...then say like 'if i was hearing maybe jsut maybe id be a meaner person, richer, or a junkie, or a untrustworthy person...or just someone who happens to like purple (if you like green) ...
the whole point is, you'd NEVER know < NEVER EVER,..and neither can anyone try imagine a such...
but then again...
suppose if a hearie *wishes* you'd understand something..there hundred possibilities/situation//beyond the scope of this thread...so im saying "beats me' too lol

yeah interesting topic though...and RJ...cuddles to you from me, you'd be right...she's just going through a stage on 'almost leaving home' and wondering (like she'd can't help it) if she'd had a better chance if you WERE hearing... not that she doesnt love you enough , its more like she's wondering if she is disadavantaged in anyway, like maybe its her subsciousness playing tricks...so you'd need not just stick up for yourself, but also for her...to make her realise 'the importance' (but dont scoll/stern like a school teacher she'd turn her back) of the value about you as a mother she dont have a choice... but also... that she DID get the best chance she would ever have had... then leave it...
just my guess...
and try not to burden yourself, you KNOW you're worth more than her doubt from the subsciousness, *think about maybe she'd be reflecting and comparing without even realising it*

cheer up
G
 
just realised 2 things i can check what thread it come from, AND it's in the right one, just the page before whew!
 
Audiofuzzy said:
Generally I am accepted as I am, but but I know my child wishes
I could hear. And it's my own fault.

Fuzzy
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? How is it your fault that you can't hear?

When my sons were little, they struggled with my deafness, namely my not being able to hear everything they were saying and having to repeat themselves. Then a few years ago, when one of them gave me a major attitude about making an emergency phone call on my behalf, then I called for a family meeting. They listened to my frustrations, I listened to theirs, there was no invalidating or minimizing each other's feelings and we figured out ways to make it better for everyone.

After that, never got attitude from them again. I honestly can't remember the last time they got irritated in relation to my deafness.
 
Grummer said:
and that....kinda show they DONT know the 'real you' (happens to me LOTS)...its understandable though, like maybe just maybe we need to give 'oh you may wonder if id be like if im hearing'...then say like 'if i was hearing maybe jsut maybe id be a meaner person, richer, or a junkie, or a untrustworthy person...or just someone who happens to like purple (if you like green) ...
the whole point is, you'd NEVER know < NEVER EVER,..and neither can anyone try imagine a such...
but then again...
suppose if a hearie *wishes* you'd understand something..there hundred possibilities/situation//beyond the scope of this thread...so im saying "beats me' too lol

yeah interesting topic though...and RJ...cuddles to you from me, you'd be right...she's just going through a stage on 'almost leaving home' and wondering (like she'd can't help it) if she'd had a better chance if you WERE hearing... not that she doesnt love you enough , its more like she's wondering if she is disadavantaged in anyway, like maybe its her subsciousness playing tricks...so you'd need not just stick up for yourself, but also for her...to make her realise 'the importance' (but dont scoll/stern like a school teacher she'd turn her back) of the value about you as a mother she dont have a choice... but also... that she DID get the best chance she would ever have had... then leave it...
just my guess...
and try not to burden yourself, you KNOW you're worth more than her doubt from the subsciousness, *think about maybe she'd be reflecting and comparing without even realising it*

cheer up
G
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:ty: It feel *so* good to know that not alone in feeling this way. :hug:
 
Rebecca, every mom goes through these emotional issues when a kid leaves home. I worry that I haven't been a good enough mom. Did I give him what he needs to go out into the world? What if I didn't? This is my anxiety about our changing relationship. I tell myself that this is normal and everything will be ok. I'm a worrier by nature and what mom doesn't worry about her kids? It helps to have a reality check. Yep, normal stuff!
 
dorothybaez said:
Wirelessly posted (dorothybaez)



The mother should not have to "prove" anything to her daughter. The daughter is the child and the OP is the parent, who is providing the child's financial support.
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Hope that keeps you nice and warm at Thanksgiving dinner. There comes a point when a parent must realize she is no longer in charge.
 
Wirelessly posted (dorothybaez)

VacationGuy234 said:
Hope that keeps you nice and warm at Thanksgiving dinner. There comes a point when a parent must realize she is no longer in charge.
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Actually, what will keep me warm is the fact that I have a loving family, including two grown sons. Apparently I did something right since they both grew up to be good kind men who have true respect for others and themselves. We relate to each other as adults now, and that means we don't treat each other like naughty children, demanding "proof" when asked to make allowances for each other.



As to the original topic, I simply would not financially support a person who persisted in treating me as an untrustworthy and incompetent child.



At least your hostility is now clear to everyone.
 
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VacationGuy234 said:
Hope that keeps you nice and warm at Thanksgiving dinner. There comes a point when a parent must realize she is no longer in charge.
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a parent can kick their adult child out of the house for the disrespect. Do you allow your guests to be rude and disrespectful in your home? If not, then you are still in charge.
 
Originally Posted by Audiofuzzy View Post
Generally I am accepted as I am, but but I know my child wishes
I could hear. And it's my own fault.

Fuzzy
? How is it your fault that you can't hear?
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No, it's not about the fact that I can't hear, it's about the fact
that in raising her I allowed such situation that my child doesn't always accept me wholly as I am but wishes I could hear.

I am talking about situation similar to "mom, I will sign if you show me your audiogram".

THAT is my fault, that she thinks she can feel that way.

Shel90
Obviously I am a bad parent if my daughter can think she can be a bitch to me just because I wont let her get her way.

What's wrong with kids today?!!
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Sadly, Shel, that's just it- kids are what we make them.
So, let's face it,

if they behave certain way, it's ourselves we can thank to.

We have to face it if we want to change it.

Fuzzy
 
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