Things Never to Say to a Cop

rockin'robin

rockin'robin

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1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6.I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

7.You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8.I pay your salary!

9.Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

10.Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11.I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around.. That's how far ahead of me they are.

12. When the Officer says "Gee .Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your
eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
 
:rofl: And don't forget this one.

Can we hurry this up sparky, happy hour is almost over and your wife is waiting for me at the bar.
 
12. When the Officer says "Gee .Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your
eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
Click to expand...

that'll get you out of a ticket >.<
 
Here are some more. Sorry for any duplicates.

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

2. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3. Aren't you the guy-from the Village People band?

4. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me. Good job.

5. I though you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.

6. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

7. Bad cop, no donut.

8. You're not going to check the trunk are you?

9. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.

10. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on COPS?

11. Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriends night stand.

12. Is it true that people become cops because they're too dumb to work at McDonalds?

13. I pay your salary.

14. So uh, you on the take or what?

15. Gee officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning.

16. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us knows.

17. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around, that's how far ahead they are.

18. What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" YOU'RE the trained specialist.

19. Well officer, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

20. Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.

21. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?

22. No, YOU assume the position.

23. I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts is having a 3 for 1 special!

24. If I bend over, will I still get a ticket?

25. No, offi, offic, lucifer...I'm not as think you are drunk I am. I swear to dog.

26. No, I don't know how fast I was going. The little needle stops at 110mph.

27. Back off Barney, I've got a piece.

28. But officer, I've got 2 different drivers licenses from 2 different states! Pick ONE!

29. I know I was weaving, but I was trying to hit all the little green men!

30. On the way to the station, let's get a six pack, oh and don't forget the cigs.

31. Come on, write the stupid ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!

32. Hey, wasn't your daughter a porn queen?

33. How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.

34. So that's what those yellow flashing lights in the school zone mean?

35. What do you use those rubber gloves for anyway?
 
The worst phrase that anyone would tell cop is...

I have gun, I just shot couple cops earlier!

(Especially if that idiot is in Washington state or even my hometown. Yes, there was two cops got shot earlier this morning. Sad, what a sicko thinking killing is the answer).
 
Driver was speeding at 84mph in 65 and the driver got pinged via speed trap.

Cop: Do you know how fast youre driving?
Driver: No?
Cop: My radar gun registered you were driving at 84mph. This is 65 zone.
Driver: Wow, that was fast. I felt like 65.
Cop: Do you have a valid reason why you were driving at 84?
Driver: My wife walked away from our relationship to a cop four weeks ago and I thought you were chasing me, stopping me to hand over my wife to me.
Cop: Err, umm. Okay. Drive safely.
 
deafaussie said:
Driver was speeding at 84mph in 65 and the driver got pinged via speed trap.

Cop: Do you know how fast youre driving?
Driver: No?
Cop: My radar gun registered you were driving at 84mph. This is 65 zone.
Driver: Wow, that was fast. I felt like 65.
Cop: Do you have a valid reason why you were driving at 84?
Driver: My wife walked away from our relationship to a cop four weeks ago and I thought you were chasing me, stopping me to hand over my wife to me.
Cop: Err, umm. Okay. Drive safely.
Click to expand...

:laugh2: That's a really good one!
 
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