Tell me your views on Single parenting

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GarnetTigerMom

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" View on pros and cons on single parenting"

I like to hear your view on your thoughts about single parenting. But, please no fight just share your thoughts, views and opinions. I am a single mother of one child. I know it hard, but I love my child more than anything in the world.

Are some of you single parents? I'm sure that single parenting can be very rough and exhausting. Unfortunately, single-parent families are becoming more and more common today than ever before, it is never easy on the parent or the child. And increasingly large groups of children live with parents who were never married. Also, there are a small number of children living with a widowed parent. But there are of course many positive opinions behind being a single parent.

So, for example, you can raise your child according to your own beliefs and traditions without conflicting input from a spouse. Single parents often form closer bonds with their children. Fathers who are single parents may end up being more nurturing and the Mothers end up being more involved with their child’s social activities. But it rough being a single parent. But I have no regret being a single mom.
 
I really tip my hats to single parents in this day in age. I know things can get tough no matter what your child will always come first. I am not a parent, I do have single parent friends and see how they struggle at times in life when things get tough on them. Raising the child to the best of your ability and give them the proper guidance as possible.
 
I think that it is harder due to availability while working and caring for your kid(s) at the same time. If your kid was old enough to go to school, then you could work it out so that you work while your kid goes to school at the same time. That way, you see your kid during the evenings. During holidays, there's always the babysitter, friends, or grandparents. ;)

As for beliefs, that depends on what you believe in or want to teach.

With families that are very religious and strongly believe in kids after marriage and don't believe in divorce, then it would be difficult to pass on that belief to those kids when you aren't practicing it yourself.

What about practicing safe sex? If the kid was conceived by accident, then it would also be difficult to pass on the ethics of practicing safe sex when you didn't do it yourself.

I've heard from some students at NTID/RIT as they talk about how they will never get pregnant or know what they're doing when they're dating other guys. They even make fun of people who got pregnant by accident. Yet, they end up making the same mistakes.
 
I am sorry but where did you get that posting from? Can you give it some credit?


I have been a single mom for the last 8 years and have no regrets. Certainly there were many nights I would lie in my bed wondering and worrying how I would get through next day as it is an extremely difficult job when you are on your own.

Now my girls are almost 13 and 12 and growing into beautiful, compasionate and sweet young woman, I think I did a good job :) But I know it is not an easy job. Sometimes I wonder if the girls would be alot happier if their dad and I stayed together or not.

But the bottom line is that if I can trust and believe in myself, I can do it! I just hope that my girls will recognize many sacrifices I made for them and will express gratitude for the choices I made.
 
VamPyroX said:
I've heard from some students at NTID/RIT as they talk about how they will never get pregnant or know what they're doing when they're dating other guys. They even make fun of people who got pregnant by accident. Yet, they end up making the same mistakes.
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Yep - What goes around comes back and bites at them.

GTM - As a single parent, Certainly it is never easy at all because you're always on a constant juggle trying to fit in BOTH of your and the child's schedule on a daily basis. Being a single parent can have a positive outlook but it also does take a toll. You are in debt to take both roles (being a mom and a dad) to raise the child. That alone can be challenging, in regards of emotions and mental. There are a lot of single parents out there who have done very well. It all matters trying to cope with it which is never easy.
 
my eyes look at single parents seem tough as I feel sorry for them. Every hot single mother look at me as she want my help if I'm good to them. :)
 
Gemma said:
I am sorry but where did you get that posting from? Can you give it some credit?


I have been a single mom for the last 8 years and have no regrets. Certainly there were many nights I would lie in my bed wondering and worrying how I would get through next day as it is an extremely difficult job when you are on your own.

Now my girls are almost 13 and 12 and growing into beautiful, compasionate and sweet young woman, I think I did a good job :) But I know it is not an easy job. Sometimes I wonder if the girls would be alot happier if their dad and I stayed together or not.

But the bottom line is that if I can trust and believe in myself, I can do it! I just hope that my girls will recognize many sacrifices I made for them and will express gratitude for the choices I made.
Click to expand...


It not from posting it was from a parents mag I read not long ago, so I thought I put my feelings in to that. As a single mother I know it tough raising a child alone without a husband. But when when my daughter was born, My feeling was raising her in a good home, protecting her and teaching her. My daughter's father is nothing but a jerk and a monster. Bottom line I hope to find a good man that treat me well and my child. But I still have some trust issues when I date someone. So I had to believe in myself to be strong raising my child as a single mother. So far I think I am doing alright. I realized being single mother is nothing to be ashame of.
 
VamPyroX said:
I think that it is harder due to availability while working and caring for your kid(s) at the same time. If your kid was old enough to go to school, then you could work it out so that you work while your kid goes to school at the same time. That way, you see your kid during the evenings. During holidays, there's always the babysitter, friends, or grandparents. ;)

As for beliefs, that depends on what you believe in or want to teach.

With families that are very religious and strongly believe in kids after marriage and don't believe in divorce, then it would be difficult to pass on that belief to those kids when you aren't practicing it yourself.

What about practicing safe sex? If the kid was conceived by accident, then it would also be difficult to pass on the ethics of practicing safe sex when you didn't do it yourself.

I've heard from some students at NTID/RIT as they talk about how they will never get pregnant or know what they're doing when they're dating other guys. They even make fun of people who got pregnant by accident. Yet, they end up making the same mistakes.
Click to expand...


:gpost:
 
Jolie_77 said:
Yep - What goes around comes back and bites at them.

GTM - As a single parent, Certainly it is never easy at all because you're always on a constant juggle trying to fit in BOTH of your and the child's schedule on a daily basis. Being a single parent can have a positive outlook but it also does take a toll. You are in debt to take both roles (being a mom and a dad) to raise the child. That alone can be challenging, in regards of emotions and mental. There are a lot of single parents out there who have done very well. It all matters trying to cope with it which is never easy.
Click to expand...

I have to agree with you that a single mother have to play two roles instead of one. It can be very challenging and very emotional. I am in for a very long haul, but I love my daughter more than words can say. :)
 
Yes that's right, Jolie_77.

I :applause: single parent for cope his/her job to bring his/her child up alone well because my mom and sister were not strength enough to bring their children alone up.

My step-mom is a strong woman and can cope to bring her child up alone well. She can cope as mother and father to her child well.
 
Excellent thread, GarnetTigerMom! :)

All of my 4 children are fully grown up and they are over the ages of 18 already. Lol

I am a single parent of my 7 months old puppy. Hope that counts to this thread. :D

Will train up my child ( my puppy ) with my ASL. She is goin' to be a hearing service dog. :)
 
:lol: Maria, I see why not to consider your pet as your own baby... It's normal... I remember from your posts somewhere that you adopted one dog then later have puppies... I thought it could be that you own 2 or 3 dogs... ?

You know that Kim, my 3 years old cat had 4 kitten at 2 years ago. I keep 2 of 4 kitten and name them Flecky & Blacky and consider them as my Granddaughters... I have 2 adoptive daughters and Granddaughters. I took care of my Granddaughter Flecky & Blacky since their mother Kim killed by road accident last year.

I know my post sound :crazy: but I consider cats as my own babies... :giggle:



 
I was a single mother and I took care of TJ for 5 yrs till his father got the custody of TJ. I can tell you it was HARD especially TJ having problems like Autism, Development delay but outgrew of Autism but now Sensory Processing Disorder. Hving to deal with all of the problems and taking him to dr to see what i can do for TJ. I had to let TJ be put in therapy so he could have treatment and try to be normal as much as we can. Now I am happy to say the therapies paid off. TJ is in a regular classroom and is on honor roll. He is very smart boy.. but still have problems but take time day to day and we both will overcome it. I hope. :)
 
Maria said:
Excellent thread, GarnetTigerMom! :)

All of my 4 children are fully grown up and they are over the ages of 18 already. Lol

I am a single parent of my 7 months old puppy. Hope that counts to this thread. :D

Will train up my child ( my puppy ) with my ASL. She is goin' to be a hearing service dog. :)
Click to expand...

That great, I did the same thing to my dog Kasey when she was a puppy and trained her to be a hearing dog. I feel like her mother to a dog lol but I think that counts. :)
 
Freaky Cat said:
I was a single mother and I took care of TJ for 5 yrs till his father got the custody of TJ. I can tell you it was HARD especially TJ having problems like Autism, Development delay but outgrew of Autism but now Sensory Processing Disorder. Hving to deal with all of the problems and taking him to dr to see what i can do for TJ. I had to let TJ be put in therapy so he could have treatment and try to be normal as much as we can. Now I am happy to say the therapies paid off. TJ is in a regular classroom and is on honor roll. He is very smart boy.. but still have problems but take time day to day and we both will overcome it. I hope. :)
Click to expand...

Oh wow, I know that austism is very hard situation, My aunt have a daughter is also autism. But I am glad that your son treatment paid off and doing normally as possible to have a normal life. I think each type of autism is different for each children. I hope they find a cure for autism. I have heard so much horror story about parents telling me they blame the doctors on autism by giving the child too many shots vaccines that could be the cause of it. I hope we continue to fight autism. :)
 
I, myself have never been a single parent (give me time though!! lol) and I am lucky in that aspect. The simple things we take for granted, such as shared night time routines or making a bottle for the youngest and so on, we do take it for granted that there is someone else in the house to help out.

While single parent families are becoming more common in this day and age, we must remember that not all single parents became single parents by choice, some have lost their partner via war/a sudden death, and therefore have to cope with the grieving process aswell as looking after their children. These I might add are the parents that I admire the most.

I can only assume it is hard to be a single mother/father , yet the rewards you gain , the achievement you gain from doing it all yourself would count for something. And when the children are older they tend to realise just how you really do have to do to provide for your child.

Bumpsy
 
My brothers and I were raised by a single mom. She did a great job with all 3 of us and I applaud her and other single parents. I admire all of you for your hard work. Keep it up!
 
Liebling:-))) said:
:lol: Maria, I see why not to consider your pet as your own baby... It's normal... I remember from your posts somewhere that you adopted one dog then later have puppies... I thought it could be that you own 2 or 3 dogs... ?

You know that Kim, my 3 years old cat had 4 kitten at 2 years ago. I keep 2 of 4 kitten and name them Flecky & Blacky and consider them as my Granddaughters... I have 2 adoptive daughters and Granddaughters. I took care of my Granddaughter Flecky & Blacky since their mother Kim killed by road accident last year.

I know my post sound :crazy: but I consider cats as my own babies... :giggle:
Click to expand...
I agree. I think it's harmless and cute for someone to consider their pets as their "babies"... as long as they don't get carried away with spoiling their pets more than anything else.

I knew a guy who thought it was retarded for people to consider their pets as babies. I guess that guy has no life. :roll:
 
I forgot to add that My mom was a single mother to me n my two sisters after my parents split up when i was 11. it was only mom and girls.. freedom to watch tv and doing what we wnated when dad was around we couldnt watch tv and play in living room etc. so it was big change for all of us.
 
Freaky Cat said:
I forgot to add that My mom was a single mother to me n my two sisters after my parents split up when i was 11. it was only mom and girls.. freedom to watch tv and doing what we wnated when dad was around we couldnt watch tv and play in living room etc. so it was big change for all of us.
Click to expand...

I got lot of cousins that all have end up in bitter divorces. And some turn out okay and other have anger issue when the parents slipt up so since they gotten older they learn to deal with their anger much better than they did before. I am sure it must be hard on the parents gets divorce and effect the children. But I am glad you turning out pretty good. :) :cool2:
 
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