Stop. Staring. At. Me.

Angel1989 said:
I tend to speak loud at times too. I have asked my family or the person I am out with to give me a sign to let me know my voice is too loud.

Maybe they are looking at you because your super cute, you never know. If they stare when you are signing, they may just be really impressed.
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I actually don't sign. But thanks for your answer.
 
Bottesini said:
My husband actually has that shirt! I think it may have come from Walmart a while ago.
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Hey Botti,
Do you have like a ton of t-shirts with clever sayings? Some people really like to collect t-shirts like that. I found a few at cafe press, but nothing really that clever. I have one someone bought me that says "does this t-shirt make me look deaf". The old time saying is "does this t-shirt make my boobs look bigger" funny because the shirt is too tight.::giggle:
 
When people stare im just like "did you lose something?" They usually walk away or at least turn around.
 
Angel1989 said:
Hey Botti,
Do you have like a ton of t-shirts with clever sayings? Some people really like to collect t-shirts like that. I found a few at cafe press, but nothing really that clever. I have one someone bought me that says "does this t-shirt make me look deaf". The old time saying is "does this t-shirt make my boobs look bigger" funny because the shirt is too tight.::giggle:
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Yes, I do collect fun shirts. Not all to do with being deaf, but we have quite a lot of humor collected over the years. :)
 
I just ignore them.

It depends on the location. There are some people who have never seen sign language and are just puzzled, curious, or fascinated by what they're seeing. With kids, they will always stare. That's part of the curiosity part of growing up. :)

What I do sometimes is just look at them and ask with my voice, "Is there something you need?" They will be startled that I can talk and quickly walk away red-faced. ;)
 
h48FE18FD
 
All I do is ignore.


In France, you will be stared by anyone, even in train, etc. They would even talk to their friend about your shoe or your hair right front of you. :lol:

When someone stare you too long, you must feel something special, right? haha
 
authentic said:
All I do is ignore.


In France, you will be stared by anyone, even in train, etc. They would even talk to their friend about your shoe or your hair right front of you. :lol:

When someone stare you too long, you must feel something special, right? haha
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Or maybe a "booger" in your nose?....:giggle:
 
Pick your nose and offer it to them...lol
Just kidding but I have done that ( not really getting anything) but they will move on and stop staring.
 
sonocativo said:
Pick your nose and offer it to them...lol
Just kidding but I have done that ( not really getting anything) but they will move on and stop staring.
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Hahaha, this made me laugh.

Yes, there are some people who literally stare at you - they look as though they are statuses because they do nothing but look at you all the time! I had this girl who would literally stop and just stare at me as though I'm a freak mutant or something.
 
Reba said:
It's because you're not rude natured like they are.
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Exactly! But now after being judged and stared at, I'm so sick of it. In fact, when I started university and faced the "harsh" reality of the world, I've changed so much as a person. I became quieter because I don't really like talking or even having a conversation with a person in public without being stared at.

I have definitely avoided joining clubs at school as a result of this revelation upon starting university.
 
Gad, I came on to post something for Ms. Frisky Feline and your Title grabbed my eyes. Staring back takes you down to their level, so that's not cool. But the t-shirt is :) ! Ignoring helps as well. When I see people signing in most places, I look away because I feel like, despite how little I know, I'm invading their privacy. Hearing people can't turn off and I would think eavesdropping is inculturated (which may not be a word but you know what I mean).

I get so frustrated reading lips and trying to understand that I break out in sign, sometimes to hearing people. I don't know why and we all laugh. I recently taught my two cousins (11/12ish) how to sign stupid and they took off with that laughing and running. I didn't get in trouble from my first cousins.

I'm sorry you're going through this. I like what you do. You look at them directly and THEY turn their eyes away. It's a power indication on your part.

Yes, it is human nature to do this. It does not excuse it. As a child ten years old (maybe less) I knew intuitively it was wrong. I don't know how.

Boy, reading what you're going though makes me very sad and angry. My voice is very clear. My decibel levels, however, remain all over the place - "Stop yelling." "Lower your voice." I don't know how to set it... Heck, I borrowed a dB meter to try to correctly modulate my voice but I was looking down, there went my lip reading. I had one audiologist who was the daughter-in-law of a friend of mine tell me she detected a slight voice change that others would likely not notice that was an indication of my hearing loss. It could've been she wanted to look better to whomever :) . NOW, there are many times I want to sound deaf. When I speak, people assume I can understand. They may see a wire from my head - it's the magnet going to the processor attached under my shirt and it could be anything not deaf-related these days. My hair is long, it's thick, in the summer heat, it frizzes so my hearing aids were not seen either.

And your story continues with being in a frickin' nursing class and having a problem. 12/2008 I ended up in the hospital for many days. I was HoH - told my partner to keep the aid at home initially and used to automatically responding whether I actually understood the person or not (it had not been a problem until that time). Many people observed my actions and made notes in my chart about it. I nabbed my chart and started going through it. Not supposed to do it and it's my chart. The head nurse grabbed it from me and explained what the observers mistakenly misinterpreted about my actions and I wanted to scream (but I don't do that). I told her they needed to be educated! She really was on my side but the others were 90% weird. I had one other ally and I wrote his poorly-written college paper for him. I was bored but at least he was fine with me. I told another nurse how to ensure her mother wouldn't be ripped off at a hearing aid dealer and we played games together :). So, here's an original suggestion since everyone else has added theirs. NURSES need to understand a bit about what it is to be Deaf and how to be respectful to those who are all the variations (including HoH) that we are. If you can do this, can you ask your instructor for 15 mins. to do a presentation? If you can't do a presentation, you can write bullet items of what's seen/heard and what really may be going on with that R-E-S-P-E-C-T !

Sorry about the length and as for FF, I will post the article on what cats think based on research tomorrow.

Good luck.

-- Sheri
 
In a room full of hearing people, the person that is making the loudest noise is going to get most of the attention. Lower the volume of your voice, and most of the stares will go away.

I have one buddy that is oral, and everywhere we go, he speaks so loudly that whole rooms of hearing people go quiet and stare at him. He says he is aware, and doesn't give a crap what others think, so he continues to be loud.

Some folks are aware and choose not to do anything; others make an effort to speak quieter.

p.s. I've had professional speech therapy for years as well as learning how to adjust my volume based on feedback from others; the trick is to start out quiet and increase your volume until people stop asking you to repeat.
 
I'm trans, but pass most of the time, but every so often I don't and people stare. Like today, my friend and I (both trans) went to Del Taco and this woman and man stared at us even after we walked out and got in my car. My friend said "Maybe we should wave?".

Sorry people are doing this, but I have such a low opinion of the general public, so that helps me del with it I guess.
 
I hate getting attention at all, it can make me cry and I definitely don't want to cry in public.

I never sign outside when I'm with my mother. Sounds pretty weird, my mother is the one who is signing (and thus getting the bigger attention) and I'm just mouthing the whole time with little signing. Luckily my mother isn't bothered by the stares.
 
green427 said:
In a room full of hearing people, the person that is making the loudest noise is going to get most of the attention. Lower the volume of your voice, and most of the stares will go away.

I have one buddy that is oral, and everywhere we go, he speaks so loudly that whole rooms of hearing people go quiet and stare at him. He says he is aware, and doesn't give a crap what others think, so he continues to be loud.

Some folks are aware and choose not to do anything; others make an effort to speak quieter.

p.s. I've had professional speech therapy for years as well as learning how to adjust my volume based on feedback from others; the trick is to start out quiet and increase your volume until people stop asking you to repeat.
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When was at at the library talking to a librarian someone went "SHHH" to me and I told the librarian this and she said "don't worry about it" People that know me do not mind that I talk loud and I have notice some people start listening to me because I am telling a funny story. This happen when I was getting my hair cut , another hairstylist started listening to me and she kept turning her head , I thought she was going cut the person ear off she was working on.
 
green427 said:
In a room full of hearing people, the person that is making the loudest noise is going to get most of the attention. Lower the volume of your voice, and most of the stares will go away.

I have one buddy that is oral, and everywhere we go, he speaks so loudly that whole rooms of hearing people go quiet and stare at him. He says he is aware, and doesn't give a crap what others think, so he continues to be loud.

Some folks are aware and choose not to do anything; others make an effort to speak quieter.

p.s. I've had professional speech therapy for years as well as learning how to adjust my volume based on feedback from others; the trick is to start out quiet and increase your volume until people stop asking you to repeat.
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Really good point.

When I first read the posts, I was mainly thinking about people who stare rudely. By that I mean that they notice that someone is different (maybe their voice is different) from what they're used to and they look, and keep looking, as though it is their right to treat others as a curiosity instead of a fellow human being.

But after reading green427's comments, I have to think of my own experience (in the world in general, not just with d/hh people). For hearing people, and especially sensitive ones, loud sounds (including loud voices) can be overwhelmingly disruptive. If I'm trying to concentrate, or relax, or even just exist, and someone starts speaking very loudly, they might as well be physically shoving me for how distressing the experience is for me. And I can't get back to what I was doing until they stop. Sometimes not for a while afterward if the experience was sufficiently jarring.

So yeah, if that's the problem, I can totally imagine staring, as if to say "hey, you're making it really hard for me, unbearably so, please please please stop doing that" - more out of pain than an actual desire to continue looking. It can almost be involuntary, like a physical response to a trauma - I'm using word to try to describe the feeling more than something I'm actually imagining saying.

This is not at all to suggest that Strong was doing this. (Speaking too loudly for the environment etc.) I have no idea why people were staring at him. her. (Sorry Strong, not sure of your gender.) It may well be that they are just being rude.

But the other problem exists too, like with green's oral friend. We all have different needs and abilities when we go out in the world. Sometimes it's not easy for many of us. For a massive variety of different reasons.
 
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