Staying

[Marie579]

I wrote this in about 20 minutes. I guess I needed some release of my feelings. Not sure how much it will help but God gave me a way to write down my feelings for a reason.

I want to scream, I want to hide,
Yet I remain calm on the outside.
I want to run so far away,
But I do what I should and I stay.
I can't find who I used to be,
I want to find a way back to me.
I'm so confused, lost and found.
One second up, the next I'm down.
I go through the motions of my past,
It's only a shadow of a memory cast.
I close my eyes to times before,
Before you lied, and I was me no more.
Now I'm just part of the person I've always been.
You say you love me more than you did back then.
Dear God, please help me, I'll never find,
The pieces of me that were left behind.
I want to run a million miles away,
I want to run, but here I'll stay.
And smile, if only on the outside.
But you only get part of me, only what survived.

 

[caz12]

your poem reflects what alot of women feel,if i get what you mean then some man has dumped on you treated you like sh1t and expects you to pick up from where you were in begining...sound like you going through the motions,again if i understand you i would leg it find your own path in life,and don't say you can't you can,i in 60's and ran i wanted see what me was like,not wife mother old boot,and i happier than been in years...yes i got the silent treatment from kids but they came round eventually...i not sure if i have understood it correctly

 

[Marie579]

You understood it perfectly fine, and I wont leave but you are the sweetest ever for saying so!!!!! He's doing what he's supposed to. My kids are doing good. Just I don't know who I am anymore and my ears have been dying for years, just when they really started to affect my hearing and the pain associated with it got worse I didn't know. And he didn't know. Stupid things happened.

 

[Scarlet]

Marie you are truly talented
I used your poem and added some stuff at it to go with my case!
I really loved yourz though !

 

[Marie579]

Thank you!!! I haven't been on in awhile, I came back to see scarlet all over my poems lol!!