Stay married or not?

Stay together or split?

  • Total voters
    39
shel90

shel90

Love Makes the World Go Round
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My good friend has been unhappy in her marriage for the last 9 years. In fact, she hates her husband so much. I told her to leave him but she wont cuz she doesnt want to hurt her children by breaking up the household. Her parents will celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary next year and I can see that they love each other very much. My friend and her husband treat each other with no respect and talk down on each other. U can feel the hatred whenever around them. I am a child of divorce and it didnt affect me negatively but my friend thinks it will screw up her children's lives. In my opinion, I think by staying together will do a LOT more harm than if they do split up. Even their daughter told them they should break up cuz they fight all the time.

What do u think? Do u think parents should stay together even though they cant stand each other for their children's sake or just split up and be happier parents for their children?

My opinion..if parents are not happy with each other and cant be cordial, they should split up. Looking back, if my parents had stayed together, I think my home life would have been very miserable.
 
Well .. Hard to say? Voted with don't know!

Maybe go counselor and if didn't work out then go ahead divorce but first talk with children too
 
Phillips said:
Well .. Hard to say? Voted with don't know!

Maybe go counselor and if didn't work out then go ahead divorce but first talk with children too
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Her husband said counselors do nothing but rip people off. He wont go. *sigh* She used to be such a bubbly and happy girl and now she is so negative about everything. I just see by living with her husband is slowly destroying her spirit. Nothing I can do anymore cuz she chose to stay with him. Their youngest is only 4 years old so means she has 14 years to go. I am worried for her...oh well.
 
I dont want offend you but why you tell us this about her and husband's business? I will never tell anyone about my friends's business. I respect them that they have their own business. I know that you care about your friend but how your friends feel that you told alldeaf about them in all world?
 
ghsh1996 said:
I dont want offend you but why you tell us this about her and husband's business? I will never tell anyone about my friends's business. I respect them that they have their own business. I know that you care about your friend but how your friends feel that you told alldeaf about them in all world?
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I am not using her name am I?
 
ghsh1996 said:
I know that. but be careful or you can lost a friend. okay?
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She told me not to use her name so if she is cool with it, then it should not be a problem?

I was using her as an example for that question not putting a poll about whether she, herself, should stay married or not. The poll is not about her, just about parents in general.

Thanks
 
sorry, I have to say they should split up if they hate each other. Kids are importent, but not that importent to live in a relationship you don't want. Besides, it would be healthier to do that for both the kids and the parents. But then again, they should see some help and see if the spark is still there or not.
 
Handsome_Smiley said:
sorry, I have to say they should split up if they hate each other. Kids are importent, but not that importent to live in a relationship you don't want. Besides, it would be healthier to do that for both the kids and the parents. But then again, they should see some help and see if the spark is still there or not.
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But in general, do u think parents should split up if they cant stand each other? My mom told me that her parents stayed together until their 5th child turned 18. She said that she and her sisters said "Finally!!!". I was like whoa...I guess they grew up around their parents' negative vibes towards each other and preferred them to split up so they could move on. I never grew up in a household with married parents so I cant compare. I just see my parents and think "I cant believe they were married for 10 years!"..they are just completely difffferent people with different beliefs. Ha!

GHSH1996 is right..I shouldnt give out more details about my friend's marriage. She said I can use her as an example but I think I put out too many details so I should have kept it simple. She read my posting and agreed I gave out too many details but accepted my error. Smile
 
shel90 said:
But in general, do u think parents should split up if they cant stand each other? My mom told me that her parents stayed together until their 5th child turned 18. She said that she and her sisters said "Finally!!!". I was like whoa...I guess they grew up around their parents' negative vibes towards each other and preferred them to split up so they could move on. I never grew up in a household with married parents so I cant compare. I just see my parents and think "I cant believe they were married for 10 years!"..they are just completely difffferent people with different beliefs. Ha!

GHSH1996 is right..I shouldnt give out more details about my friend's marriage. She said I can use her as an example but I think I put out too many details so I should have kept it simple. She read my posting and agreed I gave out too many details but accepted my error. Smile
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I am talking abt any family like that. It is heathier for the kids if they are around a happy, healthy relationship parents then with parents that hate each other. They might not fight or anything infrount of the kids, but the kids can still see how the parents act and can catch on sooner or later.
 
Handsome_Smiley said:
I am talking abt any family like that. It is heathier for the kids if they are around a happy, healthy relationship parents then with parents that hate each other. They might not fight or anything infrount of the kids, but the kids can still see how the parents act and can catch on sooner or later.
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I agree with u. I am just happy I am not with my ex husband anymore. I dont think I could handle living with him knowing how he is. He is not a bad person but not husband material.
 
They should spilt up because kids do seem unhappy if the parents are unhappy together. They do have the senses, ya know. But I think it's important for each parents to remind best of friends due to the kids and to be there for eachother no matter what. But if a new partner comes in their life.. they have to accept the fact that the kids are a part of their life.. if not.. then just dump and say goodbye.
 
yes that's very true I agree with you. Marriage and relationship are not easy like some people seems to think!


Handsome_Smiley said:
sorry, I have to say they should split up if they hate each other. Kids are importent, but not that importent to live in a relationship you don't want. Besides, it would be healthier to do that for both the kids and the parents. But then again, they should see some help and see if the spark is still there or not.
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I vote 'yes, They need to spilt up', It's time to throw in the towel, it's best to get a divorce when the kids are younger at age, because it would make it easier on their own kids. It's not even fair to put children on the spot, it can cause alot of traumatic for the children, when parents cannot seem to get along while still married. Also another thing is very important is that it is more harmful to put children in the middle of when parents vent about their SOB husband or B wife, children do not need to hear that or be dragged in the middle. ;)
 
Marriage and relationships-- complex like a fine tangy barbeque sauce. There's not always a right or wrong answer.

Hate to say it, but even after all of the conquences and such it seems best for her children and her to move on. The worst part is there'll be a custody battle perhaps and visting rights etc.

When custody battles happen the parents get to play "I'm better than you!" and pick eachother appart. Not good at all. But... How do you think the kids feel when their parents fight? Not good. I think what's happening right now vs what could happen on the worst possible scale, she and her kids (his as well i guess) are better off splitting up.

Another bad thing is she's what... 50+ years old? It's hard to find a mate at that age but then you never know, there might be a 60 year old virgin out there xp

Edit- I still think it's best she parts. It won't be easy though. The kids will live abit easier but grow up dealing with so much hate between their parents. But split up? Kids might have a tough time making it if the mother can't get a decent job and she won't always be able to be there for them. Sucky huh?
 
Somebody here said "it's important for each parents to remind best of friends due to the kids and to be there for eachother no matter what.", I disagree with that, the marriage may end, that doesn't mean they should be best of friends or be there for each others, The children are the ones that both parent should be there for, the parent-child relationship should continue, and having both parents to repeatedly tell their children that both parents will love them the same no matter if their parents aren't going to live under the same roof together. ;)
 
Well, my classmate's parents waited to get divorce after he graduated from HS. Can you imagine that? They simply did not want to deal with child support and decide to divorce once the child become 18 years old. I wonder how he felt about divorce? Hard to tell. But, it seems that he took it well. His parents are now married to someone else and very happy with their second marriages. Strange.
 
FelixKat930 said:
They should spilt up because kids do seem unhappy if the parents are unhappy together. They do have the senses, ya know. But I think it's important for each parents to remind best of friends due to the kids and to be there for eachother no matter what. But if a new partner comes in their life.. they have to accept the fact that the kids are a part of their life.. if not.. then just dump and say goodbye.
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i agree with you. i am your Opinion.. better they should spilt up. its not good, if they will be unhappy together. of course, their kids knows what happened with parents?.. so i dont like show to my kids, if i am fight with my husband.
 
Oddball said:
Well, my classmate's parents waited to get divorce after he graduated from HS. Can you imagine that? They simply did not want to deal with child support and decide to divorce once the child become 18 years old. I wonder how he felt about divorce? Hard to tell. But, it seems that he took it well. His parents are now married to someone else and very happy with their second marriages. Strange.
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same my friend, she still wait to break up with hes bf. when he graduated from Education college so well!!!
what mean you about your classmate´s parents. true, i cant impagine that!!
 
this is what my son said they should split up. He knows what best for the kids not to see their parent to hate each other. And I agree with him.
 
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