Staring

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InnocentOdion

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Naturally everyone who signs at gets stared at when they're signing, a lot.

But, how many of you get stared at to the point where you start to feel uncomfortable?

When I go for to the DeafClub (it's in a pub) on a weekday evening, we get a lot of stares. Sometimes the people stare for a while, sometimes about a minute or so, but last time we were there there was this guy in a red shirt (not that that's relevant), and he stared at us. For an hour. He wasn't even alone, he was with his friend, but at least his friend had the decency to only look once in a while. Nonetheless, I found this kind of unnerving. I don't appreciate fat tall bald guys staring at me or the wife as we're having a conversation. If I wasn't in a large group of Deaf people at the time, I would've felt even more uncomfortable, but because there was about ten of us, it wasn't as bad.

So, what's the most irritating or unnerving stare you've had to put up with? Which one has scared you most, or pissed you off most?


Sorry I haven't been active here for a while though, guys! I'm sure you've missed me? :giggle:


IO
 
Sure, It has bothered me from time to time when someone stares at me signing with another deaf person. Most of the time, I normally would ignore the stares I get but when it gets to the point where I'm stared for a long period of time - That is when I try to do a small gesture by "waving" at the person. It gets the message across and clear to say "I know you're watching me". For me, It works and that person stops staring at me. So, yes it can be annoying but if you own it up, it eventually gets easier from time to time.
 
I have seen people stare while they are thinking of something else. Why not wave and start signing to him...or them when it happens again. That would not be too rude but it will make them think again before they stare in your direction again or they my start signing back to you!
 
It doesn't bother me at all, since I've grown so used to people staring at me because of my signing. I just don't worry about it.
 
I love to sign to people who are staring at me. It s more fun to talk with kids because unlike adults, kids do smile and try to communicate back. I lol'd at that.
 
InnocentOdion said:
Sometimes the people stare for a while, sometimes about a minute or so, but last time we were there there was this guy in a red shirt (not that that's relevant), and he stared at us. For an hour. He wasn't even alone, he was with his friend, but at least his friend had the decency to only look once in a while. Nonetheless, I found this kind of unnerving. I don't appreciate fat tall bald guys staring at me or the wife as we're having a conversation.
IO
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Please do not think I am picking on you. I would like to point out how easy sometimes we get mad and carried away in a specific situation that we sound like humiliating people targeting their different features. What does being fat , tall and bald has got anything to do with "staring"? But you got mad and easly said so. Otherwise I do not think you hate bald or over weight people. This is exactly how some people critisize deaf people so easy and you got frustrated by it.

You see we all do it. I do not know if we should be more carefull ourselves, or we should be more understanding to others . Maybe both will work hand to hand together.

Hermes
 
The thing is you see a problem, I see the potential to have it backfire on them. If they appear friendly, talk to them, they are just curious. Of course there are the very few hostile sort. You got to make it uncomfortable for them, as done by Jolie like waving. Once at a bar, we had a waiter deliver a drink to our staring guest after we left. Hope he likes water! ;)
 
InnocentOdion said:
Naturally everyone who signs at gets stared at when they're signing, a lot.

But, how many of you get stared at to the point where you start to feel uncomfortable?

When I go for to the DeafClub (it's in a pub) on a weekday evening, we get a lot of stares. Sometimes the people stare for a while, sometimes about a minute or so, but last time we were there there was this guy in a red shirt (not that that's relevant), and he stared at us. For an hour. He wasn't even alone, he was with his friend, but at least his friend had the decency to only look once in a while. Nonetheless, I found this kind of unnerving. I don't appreciate fat tall bald guys staring at me or the wife as we're having a conversation. If I wasn't in a large group of Deaf people at the time, I would've felt even more uncomfortable, but because there was about ten of us, it wasn't as bad.

So, what's the most irritating or unnerving stare you've had to put up with? Which one has scared you most, or pissed you off most?


Sorry I haven't been active here for a while though, guys! I'm sure you've missed me? :giggle:


IO
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From a hearing guy's perspective I think it's awsome to watch folks communicate using sign. It amazes me when I see two fluent signers going at it. I watch in awe. I never considered that I would make someone uncomfortable. Maybe it's best to ask the person why they are watching or let them know they are making you feel uncomfortable. OFC in a polite and non-confrontational way.
 
There will always be stares from people when they see something they've never seen before, don't understand, or are curious.

I'm used to it. It's most common by kids.
 
rockdrummer said:
From a hearing guy's perspective I think it's awsome to watch folks communicate using sign. It amazes me when I see two fluent signers going at it. I watch in awe. I never considered that I would make someone uncomfortable. Maybe it's best to ask the person why they are watching or let them know they are making you feel uncomfortable. OFC in a polite and non-confrontational way.
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It's understandable when someone of little knowledge or has no knowledge would be fascinated by sign language. The difference is, When someone sits there and stare for a long period of time without "breaking" the ice, that is when the situation becomes uncomfortable for the signers.

This has happened to me some of the time, especially when the adults are staring at me signing - I'd wave at them with a smile. Some of the time, they will glance away when I wave and at another time, some of them will wave right back to me; starting to break the ice by becoming interested in sign language or to satisfy their inquiring minds.
 
Jolie77 said:
It's understandable when someone of little knowledge or has no knowledge would be fascinated by sign language. The difference is, When someone sits there and stare for a long period of time without "breaking" the ice, that is when the situation becomes uncomfortable for the signers.

This has happened to me some of the time, especially when the adults are staring at me signing - I'd wave at them with a smile. Some of the time, they will glance away when I wave and at another time, some of them will wave right back to me; starting to break the ice by becoming interested in sign language or to satisfy their inquiring minds.
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I agree with you but come on deaf people has been around for long time. Now with technologies, I find it hard for any body who doesn't understand how deaf people operate. It either is bigot or hatred period.
 
lumbingmi said:
I agree with you but come on deaf people has been around for long time. Now with technologies, I find it hard for any body who doesn't understand how deaf people operate. It either is bigot or hatred period.
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Well, I don't think it applies to the "bigot or hatred" category. Even though sign language has became a lot more widespread, there are still a lot of people in the dark, despite of how the technology are advancing in these days.
 
ofc i get the stares at of lot of people even the kids. i know that they are curious and clueless but i am sure that signing really interested to them

but i know it really annoyed to be stared at.
 
Jolie77 said:
It's understandable when someone of little knowledge or has no knowledge would be fascinated by sign language. The difference is, When someone sits there and stare for a long period of time without "breaking" the ice, that is when the situation becomes uncomfortable for the signers.

This has happened to me some of the time, especially when the adults are staring at me signing - I'd wave at them with a smile. Some of the time, they will glance away when I wave and at another time, some of them will wave right back to me; starting to break the ice by becoming interested in sign language or to satisfy their inquiring minds.
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That is a great way of breaking the ice and that can be accomplished by either party. Good idea!!
 
It doesn't really bother me at all, but they should mind their own business, after all I don't stare at them when they're speaking different languages such as French or Spanish.
 
It doesn't bother me if anyone stares while I'm signing to my friends. If other people did stare too long I would stare back to them or wave them a hello. :giggle:
 
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