Spanking kids can cause long-term harm: Canada study

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Well what I got as a kid went far beyond spanking, Think jeans drying into scabs.....the spanking that keeps on giving. I can't say that I am any worse off because of it.....but I can't say I see the purpose of it either. I never spanked mine, I always found other ways to get my point across. I see other people kids flinch before they ever get hit. I didn't want my kid to have that kind of fear of me. Just my 2 cents.
 
For what it can mean, I've never been spanked or grounded or anything. And I'm not a serial killer...

The trick was, my dad was so adorable I couldn't ever do anything to displease him. He was always there, understanding, proud of me, ready to help me and listen to me. Even today, if I do something wrong, he would help me find out a way to put back things together, always on my side.

I feel fully accepted and I never needed to do foolish things to have his attention, because I had it. So no "gimme gimme", I don't need much stuff to be happy even now.

I can't speak for others, but I think it's surely possible to grow up decent children without spanking them, at least that's what my experience is. My kids at the moment are more fussy than I was, especially the girl (she's all like her father!!), but they're still growing up respectful and lovely, and very independent too.
 
And there are kids who have gotten spanked grow up into decent adults and parents.
 
Yes, my husband is one of them.

Yet I'm glad I wasn't in his place :hmm:
 
TXgolfer said:
Well what I got as a kid went far beyond spanking, Think jeans drying into scabs.....the spanking that keeps on giving. I can't say that I am any worse off because of it.....but I can't say I see the purpose of it either. I never spanked mine, I always found other ways to get my point across. I see other people kids flinch before they ever get hit. I didn't want my kid to have that kind of fear of me. Just my 2 cents.
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For what its worth, you were abused, not spanked. No excuse for you to have had scabs and I am sorry that happened to you.
 
Steinhauer said:
Spanking isn't abuse. Not spanking is abuse and neglectful.
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You are actually saying if parents don't spank their kids, they're being abusive and neglectful?

That's fucked up. You are really sick in the head if you believe that. Holy shit. I dearly hope you don't have any children.
 
DeafCaroline said:
Ok everybody, spank the heck out of your kids so they'll have a high IQ. Heck, beat the crap out of them and they'll be geniuses.
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In that case I should a real genius as my dad hit me and threw objects as a child!
 
When done properly there are certain circumstances that would warrant a spanking.
 
Banjo said:
How is it done properly?
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I would love to know this too! I never knew there was a proper way to get spanked or hit! Do you put on your best clothes and have some background music before spanking your child ??
 
There are many studies that have linked increased aggression in adults who were spanked as children:

"spanking remained a strong predictor of violent behavior. "The odds of a child being more aggressive at age 5 increased by 50% if he had been spanked more than twice in the month before the study began," says Taylor.

...As 5-year-olds, the children who had been spanked were more likely than the nonspanked to be defiant, demand immediate satisfaction of their wants and needs, become frustrated easily, have temper tantrums and lash out physically against other people or animals."



Read more: The Long-Term Effects of Spanking - TIME
 
Steinhauer said:
The only time I was spanked was when I showed flat out disrespect or I lied. I was grounded when I wouldn't complete chores or didn't do homework.

I didn't turn into a pimp, a hooker, or a stripper. :giggle:
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You did turn into a pro nazi kind guy according to many on this forum.
 
Okay - I was spanked with hand and once with a razor-strop. My brothers got it a lot more than me. I learned from their mistakes. Fast forward, brothers and I are now all married and we each have 2 children. Oldest brother used no discipline with his kids at all. His kids are rude and expect things to be done for them. Brother #2, used spanking with a belt and yard stick and was a strict disciplinarian with his kids. They now hate him and are very angry at life. They do say that the reason for their hatred is his past drinking problems since he used to be a heavy drinker, but is dry now (5-6 years). I spanked lightly, but mostly used the "Love and Logic" principle and also grounded and took away favorites and privileges. My kids have a great respect for me. They have their manners and are very helpful to others. They understand when they do wrong and are very quick to apologize and rectify the situation.

I know in Missouri, I had a neighbor call DFS since she thought I was abusing my daughter for spanking. DFS said, spanking is okay as long as no red mark is there after 1 hour. If it's still there after 1 hour, then it is borderline abuse. Then, this neighbor called DFS again as she heard my daughter screaming "bloody-blue murder" and thought I was beating her. Well, it was the usual battle of the bathtub. Daughter had a fear of the tub. She screamed and acted like a cat being dunked in a toilet. I had no charges filed against me and this neighbor was told to not call DFS again as she was the one with a record with them.
 
DeafCaroline said:
You are actually saying if parents don't spank their kids, they're being abusive and neglectful?

That's fucked up. You are really sick in the head if you believe that. Holy shit. I dearly hope you don't have any children.
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That is exactly what I am saying and I hope you don't have children. if a child is disobedient at an early age and you do not spank them, that is a disservice to them and a disservice to the community. They will grow up and be an absolute unbearable person to deal with - much like you and your "superiority" complex on many issues.
 
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