so, i'm really confused..

coolgirlspyer90

coolgirlspyer90

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So, I started to like a hearing guy, he's about 6 feet tall, wants to go into physical therapy, has a little brother, he's interning at a retirement home called bethany village, a huge fan of country, works at mcdonalds from dinner time till closing time and is a total goofball at times :p

Anyways, Let me explain how I met him. I met him through a friend when they were dating, But I met him mainly in my English class this year. I got to know him better in class, he was a total goofball. I remember trying to type up my research paper on our school's crappy laptop that never works properly, the battery didn't want to work and had to be plugged in; in order to have the laptop work. As i was typing he accidentally unplugged my laptop which caused my paper to be erased -_- which by then I started to have a crush on him. In class he would flirt with me by doing silly facial expressions across the room, I would smile. And He would walk with me in the hallways to his 2nd period class and give me a goodbye hug before we departed to our ways. Then one day when i went to mcdonalds to get a quick dinner before going to rehearsal, i almost forgot that he worked there, and I talked to him for a little bit before i left. All of a sudden i find myself slowly going up to him and kissed him. He didn't pull away. We aren't boyfriend/girlfriend yet. We're taking it slow trying to get to know each other more. I see him in our first period class, and then I try to see him after school, and I wanted to eat lunch with him but we haven't yet, I see him at the end of lunch though.. He also gave me his hoodie and let me have it for almost the entire week this week.

However, here comes across the problem. I told one of my best friends that I like this guy, and my friend gave me a concern look. She told me that he will want to do..things with me, and that he hurt one of her best friends, and that he's still in love with one of his ex- girlfriends. Now I don't know if that is entirely true, because I never really heard this rumor about him before. I have heard from people that he was dating a girl for a long time and broke up probably last year i think. But One of my other friends keeps telling me that it's probably not true and that I shouldn't be worrying about it. But honestly, I don't know what to believe. I mean, I really like this guy. This guy is the first person that treats me like a normal human being that isn't afraid of me being deaf or anything. He also texted me one day saying that He feels like i don't give him space. I felt a little sad and said i wasn't trying to. I try not to text him too much either, Because i know most guys gets annoyed by that. And I haven't told my best friend that I kissed this guy because I'm afraid of how she will react towards that. My other friend told me that if he screws this up she'll get pissed and she barely knows this guy too! she knows that I really like him and she's becoming one of my good friends too, and she hates to see me hurt. Because she knows that I probably have been judged by people considering that i'm deaf. So honestly, I'm confused by all of this. I need some advice, or better yet opinions about this. :dunno::dizzy:
 
your only young once. Live your life and think about it later. If u like the guy go for it
 
You only need to tell a guy once or twice that you are interested in dating him. The guy will either be 'wowed' or will brush you off as just another girl.

If this guy is really interested in you, he would make an effort to spend more time with you instead of texting "I need more space".
 
Forget texting. Try to convince your parents to get you a car with turbo engine. GO out and pick up guys!!!
 
I wouldn't worry so much! Just carry on as you are right now and see how things develop. So he had a girlfriend in the past, so what? So he might want to do physical things in the future... that's what people do in relationships, everyone knows that.

So long as he treats you with respect (from what you say he already does) there's no problem. Relax and enjoy yourself.

Or yes, buy a turbo-charged car and feel the POWER!

(why does he think he needs space? You might not realize it but you might be always trying to meet up with him and that can be too much at first when you're first starting to go out with someone. Absence making the heart grow fonder and all that ;) )
 
I agree with metalangel. I would add a couple things though, judge him by his actions and not by rumor. Let him do more of the approaching and do not fall for a disrespectful guy. Give it a little time and see what happens.
 
Maybe his boss didn't like him chatting with a girl while working, and you kissing him while he was working. Maybe some of that "space" he needs is at his job.
 
Prom is in 2 weeks, and i'm planning on going up to him and ask him to prom. I don't even have a dress yet :shock: I wonder if i should even ask him because my friend has been texting him to see if hes going to prom and he doesn't know, and she keeps telling him that he should go with me. Do you think I should ask him myself instead? Because i feel nervous and a little scared that I am not giving him too much space. I turned down the texting and turned down the "i want to see you" stuff, and I'm trying really really hard not to make this relationship go fast. I mean i really care for this guy. And every time i try to talk to my best friend about this guy, she keeps telling me its not a good idea. And i feel like I'm going behind her back with this guy. Plus, He and I haven't been texting as much as we did in the past couple of weeks. I actually miss it. So, i mean, idk. I just wish for once i can do things right with a guy without having to scare him away or anything like this. :(:confused:
 
Reba said:
Maybe his boss didn't like him chatting with a girl while working, and you kissing him while he was working. Maybe some of that "space" he needs is at his job.
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I only kissed him once at work. and then one time at school, and after that, i stopped doing it because he wanted this relationship to go slow so I had to respect that. I haven't gone to his work for awhile to see him. I might have to go to mcdonalds this week to get a quick bite for dinner because of drumline. I only have a hour and a half dinner break! (that's what we are usually given when we have a 2 block rehearsal) so yeah, I mean, He always hugs me before we departed our ways to our class. And I try to keep the conversation with him lively and cheerful. And i'm kind of running out of things to talk about, and when that happens, it gets awkward lol
 
coolgirlspyer90 said:
I only kissed him once at work. and then one time at school, and after that, i stopped doing it because he wanted this relationship to go slow so I had to respect that. I haven't gone to his work for awhile to see him. I might have to go to mcdonalds this week to get a quick bite for dinner because of drumline. I only have a hour and a half dinner break! (that's what we are usually given when we have a 2 block rehearsal) so yeah, I mean, He always hugs me before we departed our ways to our class. And I try to keep the conversation with him lively and cheerful. And i'm kind of running out of things to talk about, and when that happens, it gets awkward lol
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Your school allows boys and girls to kiss and hug at school?

What do your parents think of him?
 
Reba said:
Your school allows boys and girls to kiss and hug at school?

What do your parents think of him?
Click to expand...


Well, not necessarily, Theres a rule about PDA (public display of affection) and i mean people still do it at school, they get warnings but not detentions or anything like that. I mean if a teacher catches a guy/girl making out, they'll embaress them like doing cheering them on and they'll immediately stop because it gets awkward haha.

My parent's havent met him yet. I've been trying to introduce him to my parents, but I've been talking about him at home. They think that he sounds like a responsible hard working young man. and when i told my dad about this guy, he immediately wanted to know if he was intimidated by my deafness, and i was like.. no, it doesn't seem like he is. and so then I hope i'll be able to introduce him to my family soon!
 
with prom fast approaching, I'd go up and ask him if he wants to go. This will tell you if he is really interested in you or not. IF he by any chance says yes, stand your ground of going slow in terms of relationship so you won't get hurt prom night, but fast enough so you both feel comfortable going to prom together.

IF he says no - well, your gut feelings with alot of IDK going on is enough to tell you to move on even as much it hurts.

BTW, I remember those days of hour and half dinner times to do homework due to sports and band practice. :ty:
 
A few thoughts:
-your friend (the one who is texting him saying wow she really likes you take her to the prom etc) maybe should stop doing that! She's not in the relationship, you two are, that can be a bit off-putting to have someone else meddling. You want to take things slow, she's not helping!

-have you gone on any proper dates? It might be a good idea to go on one, if it all goes well you can ask him about going to the prom near the end of it.

-from the second point... if you're running out of things to say, go and do stuff together. Talking about shared experiences is great, as is talking while you're doing something. I've been with my gf/partner for ten years, sometimes we run out of things to say if we haven't done much. If we've been out doing something like socializing or having an adventure then we'll be talking about it for days afterwards :)
 
I regret not going to my HS prom. I'm 34 years old and it still hurts. Please don't look 20 years later and wish that you would have asked him to your prom. Go and ask him to prom.

Also, my girlfriend is not fluent in ASL yet, but she is slowly getting there. Sometimes, it's hard to communicate because of it, but we do fine. We do fine because we find a lot of "action" stuffs to do. You don't have to be a "talker". Just let a guy appreciate you for yourself.
 
Well, I ended up asking him if he wanted to go to prom with me. He told me he wasn't planning on going, but he'll think about it. So, I'm not going to text him tonight about if he has decided or not. he's currently at work and he won't get off until midnight and I don't want to bother him, He won't get home until probably 1 in the morning from work and he'll be super tired. So i think i might wait until tomorrow morning to see if he has decided yet. I mean, I really like this guy. I haven't been to a dance since my freshman year, homecoming. But i stopped going to dances like prom or homecoming, etc because when i went to homecoming, I went with a group of friends but they left me out and went about their business and i had to text my mom to come pick me up because i wasn't having any fun. :/
 
Get him the dvd of that old movie "fatal attraction" make sure you watch it together . Afterwards give him plenty of meaningful stares. He will cave in and throw himself at your feet
 
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