Single Parents: How do you do it?

Gemma, I had no idea you was a single Mommy...kudos to you. Thanks for your words of inspiration. And thanks Shel...it goes without saying that your Mom did a great job when we look at you and your accomplishments in life. :)

I'm using Jolie's words over and over in my head. It almost reminds me of the Thomas the Engine story..."I think I can, I think I can..."

Guess we all just have to keep pushing and striving to do the best we can.
 
deafbajagal said:
Gemma, I had no idea you was a single Mommy...kudos to you. Thanks for your words of inspiration. And thanks Shel...it goes without saying that your Mom did a great job when we look at you and your accomplishments in life. :)

I'm using Jolie's words over and over in my head. It almost reminds me of the Thomas the Engine story..."I think I can, I think I can..."

Guess we all just have to keep pushing and striving to do the best we can.
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I would change those words to "I know I can!" Any parent who is concerned as you are about parenting well will do fine, and their children will be lucky to have such a conscientous parent as yourself.

It is those that never worry that they could possibly do something wrong, or are sure they won't, that scare me!

You have nothing to worry about!
 
It helps to have friends and family who are supportive.

Some single mothers suddenly isolate themselves after they become pregnant, then disappear almost completely after their child is born.

I do have some friends who were single mothers, but I didn't think of anything like... "OMG! Single mother! Better stay away!" I would still treat them like my friends as they always have. If they needs someone to talk to, I'd be there for them.

Yes, being a single mother can be very challenging at times because priorities change. But when you have friends and family to support you... then those priorities can be adjusted to better suit your own needs.

A single mother could have her mom take care of her kid while she goes out on a date. It's something her mom would be likely be willing to risk in order for her daughter to find a man to be with and finally have a supportive husband. :)
 
jillio said:
I would change those words to "I know I can!" Any parent who is concerned as you are about parenting well will do fine, and their children will be lucky to have such a conscientous parent as yourself.

It is those that never worry that they could possibly do something wrong, or are sure they won't, that scare me!

You have nothing to worry about!
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Thanks, Jillo. :)
 
VamPyroX said:
It helps to have friends and family who are supportive.

Some single mothers suddenly isolate themselves after they become pregnant, then disappear almost completely after their child is born.

I do have some friends who were single mothers, but I didn't think of anything like... "OMG! Single mother! Better stay away!" I would still treat them like my friends as they always have. If they needs someone to talk to, I'd be there for them.

Yes, being a single mother can be very challenging at times because priorities change. But when you have friends and family to support you... then those priorities can be adjusted to better suit your own needs.

A single mother could have her mom take care of her kid while she goes out on a date. It's something her mom would be likely be willing to risk in order for her daughter to find a man to be with and finally have a supportive husband. :)
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You're right. I guess the real issue is I just moved to a new place...so I really don't have a network here..and sometimes that lack of networking really makes things much harder. I went to the ER three times since I moved here and I had virtually no one to help me with my kids during those times...it was really hard. I'll live. I always do. :)
 
how would family planning help? or is there a single mothers support group ?(meeting ) to go to? (but you'd need to book a terp for those group sessions) then again, you'd have a mild 'positive' discrimination on hand, them being unsure how to approach you after class - with out terps .
Typical catch-22 situation we deaf people have huh?
i admit its too easy to say priorites can be ajusted to suit your circumstances where in fact thats the very problem, you don't have that flexibility, or rather other people don't!

I do apologise for being blunt even tactless but its true and with that i can 'see' your despairing times, , if anything try get into this sort of 'buddy system' say a mum with similar age grouip child/chilfren so they stay over the night with their playmate (their (solo) parent take turn while u get a day of a week or a fortnight and you do that same other way. just an idea.
ER? dont hospital have those child-minding areas? hmm it might be a good cause for solomothers to demand hospital to provide one. (some gyms have it, especially women's gym.
cheers
 
I'm a single mom by choice... and I knew there would be hard times but I was determined to make it work... when I'm sick is when it's the hardest-- b/c I feel like I'm imposing on others to ask for help... but you have to learn to do it... I hate asking someone to do anything for me... but I'm letting some of that pride go so that my son can be cared for when I can't take care of him myself... I'm very particular though b/c in our case HE is the deaf one-- and I don't allow just anyone to take care of him (he's got other medical problems as well)

Building a support system is vital as a single momma... (as a momma period!) Plus I'm learning it's OK to let his sitter watch him while I go get my hair done or go to a movie as an ADULT...

Take time for yourself as well~~ b/c if you dont take care of you-- you can't take care of him!!

Hope you're feeling better and making connections in your new town!! :hug:
 
I am a single Mom and know how hard it can be. I have a 10 year old hearing son and since my beautiful sister died 5 years ago, I am helping to raise her two children as well, 12 and 16 year olds. Big hugs to you hunny, we all have days where we feel overwhelmed and overworked....and it sucks that when we feel this way we have no one to take care of us. My family offers me very little support and if I don't do things, they just won't get done. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger? Ha ha. Take care, sending you hope and courage for a bright tomorrow, hang in there, it won't always feel so hard. Hugs!
 
As a single parent it really helps to have a good solid support system of family and friends. However I do find myself extremely exhausted between three jobs, school, and parenthood, but everyday I am reminded that I'm slowly digging my daughter and I out of this rut we've been put in I (and I willingly admit, some of it is my own doing), but one day I'll be able stand on my own again and truly be able to support my DD. There are days it gets extremely depressing where I just want to run away and find some peace, when peace is right here. You just have to know where to look.

And throughout all of this, a nice social night out with some friends without a daughter in tote would be a nice relief!
 
I, too, came from a broken home. Married, then divorsed with 2 children to support. My family is all over the USA...I was the only one living in Florida (I moved there for a better job.)...I just packed up our clothes, photos and things that were precious to me into a small UHaul, hooked it up behind my Mustang....and drove to Florida with my 2 small kids. Never realizing how "hard" it was gonna be! A lot of tears and feelings of helplessings and being overwhelmed so much....we survived!

Now many years later, in 2003, I adopted 3 boys, brothers and they are hearing. And I'm a single parent also.

There were times when I would have panic attacks, just by waking up, and realizing I had to get 3 children (ages 6, 8 and 12) ready and off for school. And times too, when I wondered to myself, if I was crazy, and if I had "bitten off more than I could chew"! So many, many times I questioned myself!

It's 6 and one-half years later now....I'm a stronger woman! My boys are just wonderful, they excel in school, all are very healthy/strong, and are very well-behaved. I feel "so blessed" every day. Never do I question my judgment like I used to! Last Sunday, my "baby" (now 12) came in from outside and said, "Oh, before I forget, "Happy Mother's Day, Mom"! No words can express my feelings! I was really all choked up...and when I composed myself, I said, thanks honey, but it's not today, it's next Sunday. He rarely, ever said "Mom" to me!

Have a lot of faith in urself and believe that you're doing the best you can. Perhaps ur Church could help you also! Mine did, when I got sick and had to be hospitalized.... A very nice woman offered to take care of my boys until I came home! Was a wonderful gesture! And One I'll never forget.
 
Man, I empathise, Dixie. Been there, done that. Here's a big :hug: for you. It may not help much, but from being on the other side of the fence for a few years (kid raised, etc.), I can tell you that it will all be worth it one day soon. Hang in there.
 
Thanks Jillio. Here's a return :hug: I just it were easier, but I suppose if it were easy, everyone would be doing it. Plus I think it's God's way of reminding of us to be grateful of what we do have versus complaining about what we don't have.
 
I've been a single working mom for so long, 13 years of two boys 14 and 9 and still counting. Of course being a single mom is no picnic it's twice as hard when you have to do it alone., it can be so exhausting, overwhelming and very challenging. I've learned to cope with what I have, and find the strength to go on because my primary focus is my boys. They need my affection, my help in their studies and in their life. It's nice to come home from work seeing your children running up to you and hug you. It's a very good feeling. ;)
 
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