Should I.....

E

Emerald18

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Should I tell my good friend about her hubby being in the closet gay even though she doesn't know..... OR should I leave it alone and let her find out on her own ?? I just don't want to cause any problem in her marriage but I do care about her very much and don't want to see her get hurt so badly if she finds out on her own but is it right for me to tell or keep it to myself ? HELP ME !!!!
 
hi, i know you i think


anyway, don't tell her...just let her husband tell her. that's what relationship is for. if you tell her then she accepts it but she would think you as relationship wrecker. just be careful.
 
let the hubby out himself to the wife -- he will do that on his own time -- yes it will hurt the wife -- but its better it come directly from the hubby not the wife hearing it from OTHER ppl -- u might be surprised that the couple are civil with eachother after the hubby out himself and have peace between the 2 of them
 
*huggs* Emerald,
I rather let husband tell her.. because couple years ago, I told one of my friend that her wife is lesbian and doing things behind his back.. Got me in middle.. now i lost both good friends..
so its really sticky decisions..
if you want to risk it.. then be careful

xoxo
 
Wow, what a dilemma... If the husband is actively having sex with other men, that is like adultery. How can you not tell this friend that her husband is seeing other ppl? And above all, he is gay, that makes the situation even worse. What if he is not having protected sex? That can transmit to the wife! (Mind you, that can happen with heterosexual affairs too) I think you should go to the husband directly, and try to talk with him. Tell him that you are very concerned about his wife. See what the husband says. Don't go directly to the wife and bla bla...
 
Originally posted by kuifje75
Wow, what a dilemma... If the husband is actively having sex with other men, that is like adultery. How can you not tell this friend that her husband is seeing other ppl? And above all, he is gay, that makes the situation even worse. What if he is not having protected sex? That can transmit to the wife! (Mind you, that can happen with heterosexual affairs too) I think you should go to the husband directly, and try to talk with him. Tell him that you are very concerned about his wife. See what the husband says. Don't go directly to the wife and bla bla...
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Emerald -- hes got a point -- talk to the hubby directly and see if u can encourage him to talk to his wife abt that himself on his own terms and be truthful to the wife
 
Originally posted by Fly Free
Emerald -- hes got a point -- talk to the hubby directly and see if u can encourage him to talk to his wife abt that himself on his own terms and be truthful to the wife
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I seconded that..

Emerald... :ugh: wish you a luck..:(
 
That's right,, just back off and let them figure out what to do. It's their relationship not yours.
 
Originally posted by kuifje75
Wow, what a dilemma... If the husband is actively having sex with other men, that is like adultery. How can you not tell this friend that her husband is seeing other ppl? And above all, he is gay, that makes the situation even worse. What if he is not having protected sex? That can transmit to the wife! (Mind you, that can happen with heterosexual affairs too) I think you should go to the husband directly, and try to talk with him. Tell him that you are very concerned about his wife. See what the husband says. Don't go directly to the wife and bla bla...
Click to expand...

That is the reason why I am concerned is STD.... what more my good friend have a health problem.... that's why I was very concerned and I really don't want to be a relationship wrecker at all.. it just becuz I do care about her but guess I had to back off and hope things will be fine for them in the future
 
Talk to the hubby tell him how u feel abt this and explain u don't want to lose the friendship but u don t want to see anyone get hurt, honesty will hurt but at least its in the air and not inside themselves it can fester up to a hatered and thats something u and hubby and ur friend don't want to have to endure with. ur better off talking to the hubby and explaining how u feel. AND whats more, i'm sure he will be relived to know u care and just want whats best and u can feel good about urself talking about it .. CALMLY and without bitterness. good luck EM....
 
Originally posted by kuifje75
Wow, what a dilemma... If the husband is actively having sex with other men, that is like adultery. How can you not tell this friend that her husband is seeing other ppl? And above all, he is gay, that makes the situation even worse. What if he is not having protected sex? That can transmit to the wife! (Mind you, that can happen with heterosexual affairs too) I think you should go to the husband directly, and try to talk with him. Tell him that you are very concerned about his wife. See what the husband says. Don't go directly to the wife and bla bla...
Click to expand...

:werd:

Its really sticky whether you want to talk to her husband directly about it or not. :dunno:

But if it was me, I would talk to her husband directly and talk about it...because I care about her and dont want her to catch diseases from her husband that he could've gotten diseases from some guy. You know, if I decide not to talk to her hubby or tell my friend about it -- then later, your friend end up got bad diease like AIDS? I would feel guilty about it and wish that I should've talked or tell my friend about it so it wouldn't never happen to friend to get AIDS that she didnt deserve to get it from her husband? You know what Im saying? Its up to you. Good luck.
 
Maybe he's in the closet but isn't quite sure what he wants. That's why it's best to leave him alone and not say anything. Who knows, maybe he will overcome his homosexuality and decide to stay straight.
 
Even if he is in the closet, he might still engage in secret sexual encounters. Do you think it is fair for the wife to get a STD from the husband if the husband was careless?
 
Originally posted by kuifje75
Even if he is in the closet, he might still engage in secret sexual encounters. Do you think it is fair for the wife to get a STD from the husband if the husband was careless?
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Not just STD, theres many diseases out there you can catch same goes for AIDS, its not funny. Something to think about. Thats all I can say. :o
 
I really don't know about how their sex life is but I do know about her hubby being gay cuz he have been seeing a guy for a while so I don't know if he have been with alot of guys or not
 
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