Should I leave my husband?

no.

dont leave him.

divorce his ungrateful ass.
 
I agree with them... But ur not only steph9700 it's does happen to my roommate bec she want out of married too i was told her it's her's own desicion if they wanna discuss try work out or not and she knows i m back off i just help advil(sp)to her that's all before she need think twice abt that ..

I wish you good luck and you gotta leavin ur hubby cuz of ur hubby's behave is seem like abuse or something which not worth to stay with ur hubby if he don't help you whatever you need from him since ur parent are passed recently..

Hang in there ok :hug:
 
shel90 said:
Steph...my best friend who is deaf is in the same shoes as u are. She has been suffering that kind of abuse for 10 years and many people have repeatly told her to leave him but when she finds the courage to leave him, he changes and starts treating her how she wanted to be treated...like a human being who is valued, respected, and loved...so she decideds to stay with him only to have him to go back to his old ways. This would go on for 10 years..she has gone to counseling, family therapy and tried to meet his needs. Now, her spirit is dead and she is so afraid of her own shadow...afraid of speaking her opinions, afraid of what everyone else thinks of her, afraid of pissing her husband off, afraid of hurting her girls' feelings...I wish she had left him a long time ago.

Maybe try marriage counseling but if he does change for the better for a short time before falling back to his old way, pls get out because u will get yourself caught in a vicous cycle. If he changes for the better and keeps it that way, great!

Pls do not suffer this for another 10 years that my friend did and still is.

Here is a :hug: Nobody deserves to be treated like that.
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I agree. This is some heavy stuff. I suffered for 12 years with a verbally abusive ex-wife, who sometimes beat me with a broom while I was sleeping (in front of our children). I left. You need to leave, too. Quickly and quietly.
 
It may help to visit a womens center in your area, they cater to situations like yours. Anyway you can do it, you need to separate yourself from him for time to think about your relationship and where you want it to go. Thinking about it while the source of temsion is present will not give you the ability to think clearly, but you are definitely at a crossroads to decide whether if it truly is worth continuing the marriage. When you are thinking about your relationship, not only consider his faults but yours as well. Believe me, you, me, or any of us are not saints, it takes two to make a marriage what it is. Sure, "faith" helps, but don't wait for it, go somewhere to clear your mind and think hard about it. Good luck!
 
Sorry that one had to suffer like her. I don't know what or how to advise but think she needs help real time. It sounds real bad enough yet I often don't advise anyone to divorce. Remember the wedding promise? :hmm:
 
Whats the point to stay in abusive relationship? I see too many signs are there to tell you to get hell out of there.

There are plenty of shelters for battered women. Please find these places.
 
diehardbiker said:
Whats the point to stay in abusive relationship? I see too many signs are there to tell you to get hell out of there.

There are plenty of shelters for battered women. Please find these places.
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Yeah, I agree, diehardbiker. Very difficult shoes to be in for sure. Just so unfortunate that it's too common that turned some marriages into chaos.

In her case I would say leave her husband. Speak of divorcing, I won't ever advise that. It's up to her or anybody.
 
Please go to an local nearest woman's shelter . They can help u in time of yur need ........yu dont need to go thru this yurself alone .
 
Hi Stephanie, I am sorry that your husband is giving you bad time and making you suffer like that. You have gone through many tragic happenings over cancer in the last few months and it is not getting much better with your marriage. I have a feeling maybe your husband is going through the same trauma of grief as you are over your parents and his mother too. He need professional help to talk to the counselor or psychatrist. It seems like no body love him and he may be feeling left out, I think. I don`t want you to get abusive from him. If you decide you want to leave him and give yourself some peace and quiet from him, then do it. If you want to divorce him because he will not change himself to be a better person. My sister told me many times that men do not change even if he was over 50 years old. It all depend on the man who is willing change his behavior or his life to get well or just be better. You need to leave your husband for time away from him and give you space time to think about what would you like to do with your marriage. Just use your wise judgment and find in your heart if you decide to divorce him or stay with him. I am praying for you and your husband to have peace and happiness. I don`t like the look of what is happening in your marriage. Just get out if you think the marriage is really worse. I will be right there with you. :hug:
 
Hi Steph,

im sorry about your marriages getting in troubles mostly people who collaspe for marriage troubles like divorces,separation and lots of mores but you should leave your husband if your husband wont let you go but you MUST call police or FBI that it.

husband always abuse wife all the times have bruise on body they show police of bruise they police will approve true husband is serious abuse!

i would agree with APeterson28 and other on post
 
I woke him up before daybreak on Monday morning and told him that I was tired of all his crap. When he has issues to work through regardless if others are going through it too he keeps himself drunk til he is ready to deal with it. I told him it was the alcohol or me, his choice but he better make it fast. I lost both my parents and was sexually assaulted in my own home the first Friday of August. I don't need his mouth adding to it as well. He said he wasn't the problem that he solved all his problems except me. I told him if I was such a problem to hit the road and don't look back. He has been sober ever since. He is still drinking but he hasn't drank enough to get to that point where he starts to get ugly. I put an application in @ the County housing Authority today while he was running other errands and my friend Ronnie let me use his mailing address for all the responses. If he stays straight like he has been doing since I told him he was going to be the reason I killed him and me both he has slowed way down. He doesn't know I really put the application in at the housing authority and that I have already made arrangements with one of my dads best friends to store all my stuff til I can move into one of the section 8 houses. I have friends willing to help me financially too so I don't have to worry about hiding money away from him. I got it all lined up, if he doesn't stay straight over the next 30 days while I wait for the next place to come available then I am moving into my new place with help from my friends and filing divorce papers which will cause him to automatically be deported due to his status is all based on the fact he is married to me. I will let you know how it goes. I think he finally gets it that the bottle doesn't help him or anyone else. I told him that it was my problems and my issues and my life and that if he wanted to see me dead not from suicide but plain and simple giving up and dying from broken heart and spirit that he needed to go ahead and keep drinking. It was my mom and dad that died, it was my body that was beaten and raped, not him. I am the one facing the worst of the emotional crap. I know he loves me and I know that is why he is drinking so bad. He is trying to drown out the fact that he doesn't know how to cope or act or respond or feel to all of this. He is staying drunk to dull himself when he is really killing me even more. like I said I will keep you guys updated as the clock ticks til the next place opens up for me to live in. If he has proven he can stay sober enough to deal with life then we will go to counseling if not then a plane ticket is in his future. I have already found a therapist and psychiatrist pretty close to his job so he won't lose any time to go to the appointments and he's agreed to it if I handle making the appointments and arrangements.
 
steph9700 said:
I woke him up before daybreak on Monday morning and told him that I was tired of all his crap. When he has issues to work through regardless if others are going through it too he keeps himself drunk til he is ready to deal with it. I told him it was the alcohol or me, his choice but he better make it fast. I lost both my parents and was sexually assaulted in my own home the first Friday of August. I don't need his mouth adding to it as well. He said he wasn't the problem that he solved all his problems except me. I told him if I was such a problem to hit the road and don't look back. He has been sober ever since. He is still drinking but he hasn't drank enough to get to that point where he starts to get ugly. I put an application in @ the County housing Authority today while he was running other errands and my friend Ronnie let me use his mailing address for all the responses. If he stays straight like he has been doing since I told him he was going to be the reason I killed him and me both he has slowed way down. He doesn't know I really put the application in at the housing authority and that I have already made arrangements with one of my dads best friends to store all my stuff til I can move into one of the section 8 houses. I have friends willing to help me financially too so I don't have to worry about hiding money away from him. I got it all lined up, if he doesn't stay straight over the next 30 days while I wait for the next place to come available then I am moving into my new place with help from my friends and filing divorce papers which will cause him to automatically be deported due to his status is all based on the fact he is married to me. I will let you know how it goes. I think he finally gets it that the bottle doesn't help him or anyone else. I told him that it was my problems and my issues and my life and that if he wanted to see me dead not from suicide but plain and simple giving up and dying from broken heart and spirit that he needed to go ahead and keep drinking. It was my mom and dad that died, it was my body that was beaten and raped, not him. I am the one facing the worst of the emotional crap. I know he loves me and I know that is why he is drinking so bad. He is trying to drown out the fact that he doesn't know how to cope or act or respond or feel to all of this. He is staying drunk to dull himself when he is really killing me even more. like I said I will keep you guys updated as the clock ticks til the next place opens up for me to live in. If he has proven he can stay sober enough to deal with life then we will go to counseling if not then a plane ticket is in his future. I have already found a therapist and psychiatrist pretty close to his job so he won't lose any time to go to the appointments and he's agreed to it if I handle making the appointments and arrangements.
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I honestly think that both of you should seek professional help. Especially now when he seems to be willing to make adjustments. Either way I truly wish you all the best.
 
rockdrummer said:
I honestly think that both of you should seek professional help. Especially now when he seems to be willing to make adjustments. Either way I truly wish you all the best.
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I have to agree with your posts on this one, RD. While it may very well be that she needs to leave, she is also in a vunerable position right now because of the other tradgedies she has suffered recently. That is not the time to make a decision that will have long term consequences.

I am in no way recommending that anyone stay in an abusive relationship. What I am recommending is professional assistance with the decision.
 
Hey steph.. Sorry I haven't been here in a while and your problems with your husband. I'm not really good with this. I think he needs to get his priority straight and go see a doctor with drinking problems. If it doesn't help at all. Just leave him and go out and have fun with single life. Good luck!
 
Liza said:
Have you considered Al-Anon? Welcome to Al-Anon and Alateen
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Liza, OMG, we did not come up with the idea of Al-non and Al-Ateen. It is a good program to help you cope with your problems even though your husband is alcoholic. I am a member of Al-Anon because my husband is alcoholic. I have to learn to take care of myself when I am around with him. But so far we still doing good and I notice that my husband is not feeling well and start to have problem with liver disease. :ugh: I have tried to tell him that alcohol is very bad and poison to his health, but he does not listen to me because he thought that everybody drinks alcohol, beer, wine and any spirit water. Now he understand why it is bad for him.

I suggest that is what you need to attend, like Liza said, is to go to Al-Anon meeting and you will feel better talking about yourself and listen to other people. Only problem is trying to find an interpreter for the meeting if you need to know what everyone is saying about their experience living with the alcoholic. I have tried lipreading them but sometimes I get turn off when I don't have an interpreter. So I only attend when I feel like going but not all the time. I am praying for an interpreter for my meeting but living on the island it is a problem where there is no interpreters. So if you are living in the city, then you will not have any problem getting an interpreter.

As for other ADers, it does make sense that you both need professional counseling or professional help with your serious situations that you both are experiencing on. Just go with your heart what is the right thing to do and hope you can find where you need peace and happiness without all the crap you have to put up with. I don't know what to say about all this happening between you and your husband. There has to be a better solution to make your marriage work. Hope you both get well. :hug:
 
fuck him. drunks never change. The sucess rate for drunks sobering up is less than 10% and its even less if they go to AA or rehab. Dont listen to his bullshit. Just pack up and move on.

Get as much money as you can to support yourself. And only contact him through a lawyer. Dont waste your time talking to him. Dont let this piece of shit have any affect on your feelings. He is just an idiot drunk. forget him and move on. Be strong
 
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