Before the end of the school year, I saw a story on CNN online that bothered the heck out of me. A boy hanged himself after coming home from school and didn't have the nerve to tell his mother or anyone else he was being picked on. This boy could have been me, but I obviously didn't commit suicide, as there's nothing that happens that's worth doing that.
So, you know what I did? I wondered about that brother and sister duo who picked on me in junior high (just the 7th grade, as I went to private school after that). I couldn't find the sister, but I found the boy, who lives in another suburb of the Twin Cities. So, I wrote him a nice one page letter, telling him that I forgave him and his sister.
I did not use any swear words to describe what I thought of him, as he probably knows. He didn't need that from me. What he needed is to have me tell him that what he and his sister did to me several times a day was not nice and that I forgave him. I didn't have a friend the whole 7th grade year. I also told him that I hope his wife and kids and his sister's husband and kids know what kind of people they were back then. Seeing this story, I told him I hoped it made him and his sister feel better about themselves.
When I mailed the letter, at the last moment, I decided to put my return address on the envelope, in case he wanted to write. To date, I haven't heard from him and don't expect to.
Is this a better thing to do than to call the person every name in the book and threaten to have his manhood cut off? Yes. Can a fire put out another fire? No. All is forgiven and, believe it or not, once you cross that threshfold of forgiving the other person, you transferred your feelings of helplessness and despair to the bully and it remains there permanently. If the bully asks for forgiveness, it's granted (already has been) and it takes the burden of it off their shoulders.
3 brothers from my dad's marriage to his 2nd wife, 1 brother from my mom and her ex boyfriend and 1 full brother from both parents (deaf one). 
That's the worse than my old days! I am hopin' that this boy don't change anythin' down the road. It must be traumatized for this boy after what those boys did to him. 
