Rules in Deaf culture?

Bebonang said:
What is wrong with being generous like appreciated of what the host have done for the deaf person? It is not returning the favor if that is what you are implying. Like deafbajagal, no, it is not related to Deaf Culture. She was very impressed of his hospitality and that is how she was expressing her feeling of being generous to him for making her feel a part of him and his family and having fun that she and her daughter plus the 7 grandkids had never fun like this. That take a lot of guts for a hearing person to give her and her family much happiness. So let's leave at that. :)
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I thnk so too, i think she was so grateful for the Nice Hearing person like you to host and gave her probably the best of times she and her kids had in a long time, and yes good idea to invite back for a pizza lunch and just kind of talk softly say, 'we're freinds', dont worry about money, enjoy the lunch , kind of break the ice to by pass the money-as-freinds shit, (that neither hearing/or deaf culture) its just 'gratefull-ness money' indeed she probably had it sad in the past, but dont over do it, just be light about it, give some pizza or some but dont be too extravagent about it either or she'd feel even worse..yeah its bit tricky, i guess the trick is be cool and light about it, some pizza and say its a real pleasure to be freinds with ASL signers something like that...hearing and deaf alike do have sense of retribution or being used, or being generous but sometimes its overkill, somethings its like plain and simple 'gratefulness' Ive seen similar happened before (dunno when/where) i dont remmmy everything...
cheers
 
jenniifer said:
Sounds to me like she is a very sweet person, and just wanted to be able to give something back to you for a day that she really enjoyed. My mother is like this as well, and she is not Deaf. I would take it as she meant it, as being generous towards you in the only way she could at that moment. Sounds like she would be a great person to have as a lifelong friend.
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yea

:lol:

its like "oh in town, $40 even $100 couldnt buy so much fun as this...here's my platonic love, some gift for you" very grateful - been a real pleasure with your host for the day , sometimes even people might think (even I do) thinks smiles is too cheap...
hmm food for thought (er thought for the day here - smile can be too cheap, i made that up right now lol :) but hey it seems fitting)
 
in some families (not always specific cultures) or groups of people it can be seen as rude to return a gift.
The money could just have been a thank you gift.

In my family we follow that rule as well as filling Tupperware containers with food when we return them. Because returning an empty container in my family is a huge insult.

just different ways of thinking I guess.

My best suggestion is to use the 40 to pay for another day out for them. return it in a different form shouldn't be rude I don't think.
 
really that is stranger I never heard it rule I am puzzled it!
 
Are these " deaf rules" just specific countries?

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07
 
drphil said:
Are these " deaf rules" just specific countries?

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07
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That's just a hearing kid who asked that question a year ago.

Good manners can apply to deaf and hearing both.

It's really kind of insulting .
 
drphil said:
Are these " deaf rules" just specific countries?

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07
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Every culture has its own unspoken "rules" for acceptable behavior. That includes the Deaf culture of various countries.

However, the instance referred to in this old thread is not a "rule" for Deaf culture, but of another cultural influence or economic category.
 
drphil said:
Are these " deaf rules" just specific countries?


Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07
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means on respect manner on community service country!

Bottesini said:
That's just a hearing kid who asked that question a year ago.

Good manners can apply to deaf and hearing both.

It's really kind of insulting .
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sound behavior polite manner respect to deaf rule I understand clear,
jillio said:
Every culture has its own unspoken "rules" for acceptable behavior. That includes the Deaf culture of various countries.

However, the instance referred to in this old thread is not a "rule" for Deaf culture, but of another cultural influence or economic category.
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sound how aware it otherwise important!
 
Theoretical exercise for the moment on the " supposed multiple rules" re" deaf/Deaf social interaction". What is the impact of breaking such" rules"?

Implanted A B Harmony Activated Aug/07
 
drphil said:
Theoretical exercise for the moment on the " supposed multiple rules" re" deaf/Deaf social interaction". What is the impact of breaking such" rules"?

Implanted A B Harmony Activated Aug/07
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It all comes down to having good manners. If you break too many rules too often, people won't want to be your friend.

So the impact of not using good social skills = lonliness.
 
:wave:As most social norms are mostly "given in a variety of manners" not usually unknown- to most persons. One does "live in a society". One can follow or withdraw from whatever "annoying" social interaction perceived.

Just how much does one interact with deaf/Deaf/DEAF or Blind/Deaf vs hearing persons probably contingent on the numbers personally known.
Not exactly determined on this computer screen-easily

The rain storm last night cooled things down a bit here In Toronto and Bottesini hope you can continue relaxing in your Rocking Chairs with your herd of hounds out running around leaving you in real peace with a iced jug of tea.

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07
 
drphil said:
:wave:As most social norms are mostly "given in a variety of manners" not usually unknown- to most persons. One does "live in a society". One can follow or withdraw from whatever "annoying" social interaction perceived.

Just how much does one interact with deaf/Deaf/DEAF or Blind/Deaf vs hearing persons probably contingent on the numbers personally known.
Not exactly determined on this computer screen-easily

The rain storm last night cooled things down a bit here In Toronto and Bottesini hope you can continue relaxing in your Rocking Chairs with your herd of hounds out running around leaving you in real peace with a iced jug of tea.

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07
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It's a little cooler here today also.

If you want to interact with either group not just on the computer screen, you could. Your town has Mrs. Bucket who volunteered already to introduce you.

I know you are very intelligent and persevering, for your interest in swimming and dancing.

You could add a time each week for interaction off the computer screen and be successful at it if you wanted to. I am certain of it.
 
jabberwo0cky said:
Hey all! I am a hearing ASL student, and have been spending some time recently with a new Deaf friend. Last weekend she brought her daughter and 7 grandkids out to my house to have a winter play day. I had a ton of fun signing with my friend and her daughter, and talk/signing with all the kids (they all knew ASL). I also enjoyed trying my best to facilitate communication between my hearing family (who's never met a Deaf family!) and my new friends. On my end of things, we had a really great time! We rode horses, my dad made a gigantic pot of stew, and then the kids all came out and helped us pick up sticks from the aftermath of our recent winter storm.
It was a great day. When they all piled in the van to leave, my friend gave me $40. $40! For what?! She said for spending time with the horses and lunch and playing with her kids, etc. But honestly, it was our pleasure to have them all out. I tried to give the money back but she refused. I had just planned on slipping it into her mailbox or something, but a friend of mine (who has a grandma who is Deaf) said "NO WAY, that is rude in Deaf culture. If she gave you that, it would be rude to give it back."
Is this true? If so, what is the explanation behind it? Any way I could make it up to her? I mean, honestly, I invited them all out, had fun playing with the kids, they helped us clean up on the farm, and she gave ME money. I feel like it should have been the other way around. Any thoughts? Thanks! =)
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It's neither a deaf or hearing thing. It's a pride thing.
 
At the present Mrs Bucket has more pressing things to consider-the birth of the twins-shortly.

At the present time-still enjoying my 3 granddaughters and families.

You enjoy the day and smile as always

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07
 
drphil said:
At the present Mrs Bucket has more pressing things to consider-the birth of the twins-shortly.

At the present time-still enjoying my 3 granddaughters and families.

You enjoy the day and smile as always

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07
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no idea what are you said? :giggle:
 
Miss Manners says:
Once a gift is accepted, it is never polite to return it to a giver unless specifically requested by a giver,
or a gift is given with a gift receipt for return or exchange.

(It is however, also impolite to first give and then take back a gift)

So no, you once you've accepted the 40$ you shouldn't have tried to return them.

next time, think faster :)

A for the motives behind giving you the money - I think it's most probable
that the lady was very grateful for her kids being taken care of so well
and provided entertainment and everything, she was obviously very impressed and happy,

but also my gut is telling me she felt that was a LOT given (7 kids!!)
and done for them, so she was uneasy about being/feeling obligated toward you.
And instead of waiting to be called on to fulfill her obligation in some perhaps awkward way, she preferred to "come clean" right away by simply paying you off.

Fuzzy
 
Mrs Bucket has given birth a few days ago to twin daughters. Imagine she is now happy and busy.

I do in fact have 3 granddaughters: Ingrid, Kiera and Gwen.

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07
 
drphil said:
Mrs Bucket has given birth a few days ago to twin daughters. Imagine she is now happy and busy.

I do in fact have 3 granddaughters: Ingrid, Kiera and Gwen.

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07
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And that would have to do with rules in Deaf culture how?
 
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