Relationships ?

KristinaB said:
My brothers will not talk to me at all. When they call - instead of calling my phone number where I have my captioned phone, they will call my mother's cell phone and have her relay any info. They've been told over and over. The kids of my younger of my two brothers have nothing bu very rude things to say about me and my brother never gets onto them or tries to defend me. Those kids are now 18 and 24. My older brother's kids are a little more nice, but still talk to me through my mother or my kids. My son went so far as to say "hey people, she's not stupid, talk to her. She might be able to read you lips or she might ask you to write something down, but she is a person that doesn't need anyone to help her!" Yay for my son. He also has little patience for anybody that picks on his big sister for her learning problems.
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My family consists of me and my younger brother,,lol, he lives in my home. I was amazed..while other so called friends turned away..my brother (who is a talented musician) laughing..got a sheet of finger spelling and learned to finger spell (lol with both hands at he same time) He is my best friend. smiling
he stays with me here at the hospital every day since i have been here. I love him. hello to all my friends there btw,,smile...he snuck my laptop into me so I could at least read forums..smile..Peace to you all
 
MidnightSun said:
Hello Friend, It amazed me how many deaffies (which I am) pushed away from me..upon fist meeting they were turned off because I speak while I sign, and I don"t sign really well. I was disappointed, because the hearing ppl had no patience for me, I'm stuck in the middle..sigh....now i'm stuck in the hospital.
thats a nightmare...smile,,,miss you all, my friends..
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Glad to see you! You DO have friends here. How long is your stay in the hospital? I know the docs insist on being listened to, since they are gods. :lol:
 
rockin'robin said:
Moving to another side of town can affect friendships.Even family members. Found that out first hand....It's the traffic, the mileage, and some people considering "their" side of town is the "best side"...and wonder why you would move to another side.....
I have friends on another side of town, we don't visit often.

Never knew I had "so many, "so-called friends" until I moved to the beach, (right on the beach).....HAHA!...They got free parking and free partying....Waking up in the AM in the summer time, finding ur driveway fuil of cars and blocking ur way out...and having to go to the beach to find out who was "visiting" you...to find out it was ur friend...and another friend you've never met....Oh Boy!...So I did what my neighbors did, install a "NO PARKING" sign in my driveway....
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Now you know, I moved to the beach, and didn't seem to get any extra attention for it in the way of visitors. Maybe everyone was glad to get rid of me. Of course, in my area, the beach is only nice to most people in the summer, which is 3 months of the year...I moved there for the what it is like for the rest of the year, because I love the peace and quiet and general lack of other human beings.

I can't use my relationships as a template for what is and isn't normal, I mean, I am the only person I know who uses a fake name on Facebook so that people from my past CAN'T find me. But I think that most people as they grow and change and develop new connections gain and lose friends along the way, even long term friends. For me, the thought of hanging out with the same people I loved in high school or even into early adulthood sort of makes me feel a little ill. I definitely don't have any girlfriends still around from way back then, probably because I slept with all their boyfriends. (yeah, I was pretty screwed up) A few male friends I still keep in touch with every once in a while...long while though.
 
dogmom said:
:wave::aw: MidnightSun I'm happy to see you
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Thanks dogmom..smile..I miss all my friends...don't know how long I can get away with having the laptop..sigh,,,they knock me out with drugs everyday.. I am going to try to post as long as I have access...wink! Peace to you all..M♥♥♥
 
Beowulf said:
Glad to see you! You DO have friends here. How long is your stay in the hospital? I know the docs insist on being listened to, since they are gods. :lol:
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Laughing....some do, that's for sure. I missed you all so much..my brother was my partner in crime, smile , sneaking in the laptop..and like I said I have the speech to text so I dont have to type ..so many tubes all over the place..but me speach is slow and quiet so sometimes wrong words are typed,,laughing..
OH don't know how long....they are trying everything to control the seizures..
sorry to go off topic.....geez...i take it day by day..hugs..smile.miss you..M♥♥♥
 
When I was in school, I had to keep my deafness under wraps because people would just hit the road when they found out. A few knew from elementary school but by high school most had forgotten. I was just the class freak. Some of the boys would play pranks on me by whispering my name really loud and I would be looking around like "who's calling my name?" and I would look to one and he would look back me with this ugly "retard" face. Once I got so fed up with this that I just threw my English book at the boy that was doing it, then I got up and left class. The taunting just continued the next day. In grade 8 I missed some 20 days of school that year, I would ditch class that often to stay away from my tormentors. 9th grade was just hell all year long. By the spring semester I was ready to die it was that bad. I begged my parents to let me transfer to another school but they wouldn't. They just said I needed to suck it up and deal with it. By grade 10 I was keeping exclusively to myself I had zero friends. In grade 10 I met a girl but she was 23 at the time, she became my friend and I was grateful for it, but she later married and had a new life so by my senior year I was the lone solitaire with no friends. Not even the Hispanics would have me. It was lonely and hellish for me in high school. I didn't date until after I moved out of my parent's house at 18, but that only landed me in an abusive situation. After that I just had (and still have) a hard time trusting people.. It wasn't until I met an older lady at Tyson that just some how seemed to sense I was lonely. She reached out and somehow she's taken me as some sort of psuedo-God daughter (is that possible?). She must have sensed something because I was just sitting there working one day and she just opened up to me about her childhood. Turns out we had very similar experiences growing up and it's nice to have a good friend that understands and will just listen if nothing else. I just wish I had met her sooner.
 
MidnightSun said:
Thanks dogmom..smile..I miss all my friends...don't know how long I can get away with having the laptop..sigh,,,they knock me out with drugs everyday.. I am going to try to post as long as I have access...wink! Peace to you all..M♥♥♥
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I like how you're so positive! :hug:
 
no problem, MidnightSun
from my perspective, I think happy thoughts for you regardless of whether you can post or not
go in peace also!:hug:
 
blank canvas said:
i had no problem making friends i was very very social then started loosing my hearing and started loosing my friends first to go was shooting buddies (they claim its not safe to shoot with people who can not hear) then the next to go was most of my riding buddies (once again not safe to ride motorcycles if you can't hear) then the next on the list were the bar friends and then you have the ones that were just completely ignorant and sheepishly snuck away... Still have a few but the more hearing I loose the more hearing friends I loose...
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Uh, oh. You need to talk to Jiro. :lol:
 
blank canvas said:
i had no problem making friends i was very very social then started loosing my hearing and started loosing my friends first to go was shooting buddies (they claim its not safe to shoot with people who can not hear) then the next to go was most of my riding buddies (once again not safe to ride motorcycles if you can't hear) then the next on the list were the bar friends and then you have the ones that were just completely ignorant and sheepishly snuck away... Still have a few but the more hearing I loose the more hearing friends I loose...
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simply show them videos of all accidents caused by hearing people :lol:

and then ask them to find videos of accidents caused by deafies :D
 
Jiro said:
simply show them videos of all accidents caused by hearing people :lol:

and then ask them to find videos of accidents caused by deafies :D
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Lmao at the moment I was just too dumbfounded to even respond...

Must admit do miss my weekend plans but my couch and I have become real tight teehee
 
Dixie said:
When I was in school, I had to keep my deafness under wraps because people would just hit the road when they found out. A few knew from elementary school but by high school most had forgotten. I was just the class freak. Some of the boys would play pranks on me by whispering my name really loud and I would be looking around like "who's calling my name?" and I would look to one and he would look back me with this ugly "retard" face. Once I got so fed up with this that I just threw my English book at the boy that was doing it, then I got up and left class. The taunting just continued the next day. In grade 8 I missed some 20 days of school that year, I would ditch class that often to stay away from my tormentors. 9th grade was just hell all year long. By the spring semester I was ready to die it was that bad. I begged my parents to let me transfer to another school but they wouldn't. They just said I needed to suck it up and deal with it. By grade 10 I was keeping exclusively to myself I had zero friends. In grade 10 I met a girl but she was 23 at the time, she became my friend and I was grateful for it, but she later married and had a new life so by my senior year I was the lone solitaire with no friends. Not even the Hispanics would have me. It was lonely and hellish for me in high school. I didn't date until after I moved out of my parent's house at 18, but that only landed me in an abusive situation. After that I just had (and still have) a hard time trusting people.. It wasn't until I met an older lady at Tyson that just some how seemed to sense I was lonely. She reached out and somehow she's taken me as some sort of psuedo-God daughter (is that possible?). She must have sensed something because I was just sitting there working one day and she just opened up to me about her childhood. Turns out we had very similar experiences growing up and it's nice to have a good friend that understands and will just listen if nothing else. I just wish I had met her sooner.
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When I was in school I remember kids being picked on, and for all kinds of reasons, sometimes just because of the way they looked - I didn't play a role in the abuse, but I wish I had done something about it. I think back now and wish I had had the guts to stand up for them, or to make friends with them myself. I'll bet that most of the ones who picked on you look back now and feel ashamed of themselves. Makes me sad to imagine how you must have felt growing up, everyone just wants to be loved and accepted.

Just recently I ran into one of the bullies from back in my school days - big high school football star with a promising future...he is almost 40 now, drives a delivery truck and still lives in his parents basement. So maybe there is justice in the world.
 
So I have a great example: Ended up going out with some old friends tonight about 10 all hearing, I tried using my phone to communicate write in the text and show them... Only two pulled out their phones to talk! The rest literally wouldn't even look at me! Every time I would glance in their direction their gaze automatically got redirected to the floor... one word "ouch"
 
Don't take it personal. That is there problem.. They may have problems reading and spelling. I know alot of people like this and for that fact they won't text. They might be hiding ther own problems.
 
You need to find out if they have any deaf riding groups out were you live... they do have one here. i'm not a part of it but have seen them at events. I see your from CO.. I was there in 08 passing thru from Sturgis I went to the Garden of Gods and Pikes Peak. Awsome.
 
Deb1hd said:
You need to find out if they have any deaf riding groups out were you live... they do have one here. i'm not a part of it but have seen them at events. I see your from CO.. I was there in 08 passing thru from Sturgis I went to the Garden of Gods and Pikes Peak. Awsome.
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Right on I love riding up there very pretty! Ya I know my daughters school does a ride every year so i'm anxious for riding season to start again (I'm a wuss and don't ride when its this cold out haha)

But I'm rummage all of the sites I can find for a meet up this weekend even if its all ASL students I'm fine with that, seeing as I am one myself lol, but I need out of my house but don't want the frustration

Thank you for the tip thou greatly appreciated!
 
if you had a "friend" who left you because you became deaf or hoh or for any other reason you didn't really lose anything because you never had it. a real friend would stick by you no matter what.
 
Welll...finally a topic I can relate to...

I guess my first loss of friends was when I went off to university about 3 hours away and since hardly any of them even went to college it really seemed to drive a wedge between us....I would go back holidays etc but it was never the same...fast forward a few years and I completely stopped going back...folks moved to where I was now living and had no reason to go back anymore....

Then I had a new crop of university buddies who I had a blast with...there was a core group that was virutally inseperable...come graduation time, we went our seperate ways ending up spread all over the province. I kept in touch with a few..

Then I started losing my hearing....well...that was the end of those ones too...luckily I have my lovely fiance who has stuck with me through thick and thin and is my best friend....it is us and the dogs...we dont need any more superficial friends.

ps...dont know anyone in the deaf.hoh community in my city
 
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