I am currently studying psychology in college and one of my assignments is to interview the hearing children of deaf parents and the deaf parents about their hearing children. Even if you don't feel comfortable being interviewed I would appreciate answers to these questions:
how do you think deafness has impacted your parenting or your relation to your child?
for the deaf parents, do/did you wish that your child was also deaf or if you were able bodied? If so, why?
for the children of deaf parents, do you feel like having deaf parents significantly impacted your experience growing up? If so, in what way?
for the children of deaf parents, did you feel like you had to take on some adult responsibilities in the hearing world for your deaf parents? If so, how?
for deaf parents, did you feel a disconnect with your hearing child as you were raising them and were there any challenges in raising your child because of that disconnect?
thank you so much for your answers I really appreciate it! If i said anything wrong or offensive please let me know, I mean no offense or harm, I just want to learn and understand.
Hi. I can only speak from a late-deafened perspective. I became deaf abruptly due to injury in March of 2022, so it was definitely life changing. I can answer at least one of your questions.
how do you think deafness has impacted your parenting or your relation to your child?
My teenage daughter and I have always been close. Think Gilmore girls! We talked all the time and when I became deaf it was foreign territory that was met with a lot of frustration. She felt like giving up on talking to me, I felt like giving up on trying to make people understand me. It was so life-changing that neither one of us knew how to navigate. To keep the communication doors open with a teenager for any parent can be a struggle as is, then to throw deafness in the mix was an entirely different arena. We went through many things together and still do. She used to be super embarrassed at school functions as I didn't speak so eloquently anymore. My challenge of reading everyone's lips and telling someone to hold on to speak while I get my caption device ready was a nuisance. Not to mention, that people in general just tend to give up on you when you can't communicate like they can.
It was a challenge finding what works for us, but if you want it, you find a way. Sounds cliche I know, but nonetheless true. Now we are back to being close again. We made the journey to sign with one another. Our house is full of flashing lights and stomping haha. We have learned to make the most of it and make sure we give one another grace! it was an uphill battle but also a great opportunity to show kids what they are made of. How resilient they can be and how just because it didn't happen to you, doesn't mean it shouldn't matter to you.
I remember being so angry at him but was telling my daddy the I love you sign through the window and a cop got into the drivers seat and began to drive away my dad turned to look at me still crying and I ran behind that car as fast as I could until they were way ahead of me and out of sight. I dropped to my knees when My neighbor came and picked me up and hugged me while carrying me home telling me they were just taking him to sober up and let him think about what he had done and he would be home in a few days. That he needed to be there to learn his lesson because he could have gotten killer or hurt someone else or even killed them and then we'd never see him again. I cried until I fell asleep on his shoulder waking up later in my bed thinking it was just a dream but instead seeing my mama her sisters and my papa all at the kitchen table and my mom crying. So I knew it wasn't a dream or nightmare I should say. I went looking for my brother but he was gone to
his dad's parents had come and picked him up and drove him two hours away. I was so upset that he wasn't there. He was my only friend and play mate. Then the next day at school I was being picked up by people in black suits with name badges is all I remember but the office staff said my mom had given them permission to go with these people. I thought I was going to get to go see my dad and I kept asking was that where we were going and was told jail is no place for a little girl like me to go see. I said where are we going. They asked if I wanted McDonald's and of course I said yes. I wanted a happy meal. So I was content until night time arrived and I refused to go to sleep until my mom came and picked me up. They kept talking to me asking me questions and I kept saying I want my mama . I want to go home. They said you will in the morning if you will answer our questions and then go to bed. We will take you home in the morning. They lied so I don't know how many days I was there but I refused to talk , eat or drink anything and they didn't take me to school either. So I stayed in the bedroom they let me sleep in and colored. I didn't even ask to go home I just refused to speak at all and at night I'd sob. While they tried comforting me I'd pull away or get under the bed or in the closet. Finally they said one morning I was going home that day so I went and ate breakfast I was literally starving, had lunch and was on my way home. So all of these stories I read about these kids growing up with deaf parents and it being such wonderful stories and talking about how the deaf community were like family and so normal
Reply back and I'll send you my email or phone number and we can text . I'll give you some stories that will blow your mind. Because I've never seen or met a normal deaf person my entire life not where I'm from at least . I always pleaded with God to give me normal parents who could hear..I've always wanted to write a book about my life. It was terrible. I still have ptsd from childhood. But I haven't found the opportunity and someone to help me figure out how to begin to write a book that will sell. Sorry for the long story but if you want a different story than the same old song and dance I'll help you with your paper.
